Hi Debbie

I wish there was an easy, quick answer to your question but there is no crystal ball available to tell me is this is a one-off incident.

Personally, I think it is wise to think that this could be the start of something -but hopefully with knowledge it can be nipped in the bud.

Your son is at an age when many young people gamble for fun without realising that addiction can be waiting for them and along with addiction can be a life-time of failure and misery. You, however, have chosen to seek help early for him and he is a lucky young man that you are ready to support.

Debbie, I was just going out for the evening when I noticed your post, so I hope you will excuse this short reply.

I will write more fully tomorrow – but I wanted you to know I was listening. in the meaning your plan to keep him occupied and his friends in the loop sounds great.

Speak soon

Velvet

Hello Debbie

Thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy friends and family forum. This forum will provide you with warmth and understanding from your peers.

Feel free to use the friends and family group, you’ll find the times for these if you click on the “Group times” box on our Home page

Read about the friends and Family Groups Online Groups

Now that you have introduced yourself you’ll find that many of the people you meet here have already read your initial introduction and they’ll welcome you in like an old friend ??

If you’re the friend or family member of someone who is either in, or has been through, the GMA residential programme please take extra care to make sure that nothing you say in groups, or on our forums, inadvertently identifies that person. Even if your loved one isn’t connected with GMA, please don’t identify them either directly or indirectly just in case they decide to use the site themselves.

You’ll find a lot of advice on this site, some of which you’ll follow, some you won’t…but that’s ok because only you fully understand your situation and what’s best for you and the people you love. So, take the support you need and leave the advice you don’t because it all comes from a caring, nurturing place ??

We look forward to hearing all about you!

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

HI Debbie

If your son has a serious gambling problem, then his answer will probably be to gamble again to chase his debts.

It is important to keep his ‘good friends’ on side, he will need them. Maybe you could tell them that your son could use their calm approach. I personally feel that the more people who are willing to support the better. It is important though that they know not to give him any money because this will only feed his problem and they will probably never get their money back.

It is also important to know that your son does not want to have a problem with gambling, he neither asked for it nor wanted it, he is not to be blamed – any more than you.

He is in debt for a lot of money and being young, this will hurt. Maybe you could direct him towards our Gamblers group, facilitated by Charles, who will put him straight about what could happen to him if he continues gambling. I believe there is nothing like hearing from someone with experience.

I facilitate a group on Tuesdays and Thursdays 19.00-20.00 hours, (7-9pm) for the families of gamblers and I would be really pleased if you could join me. It is one to one, completely safe and private, it is really good to have a no-holds-barred conversation.

Your son is young enough to learn to control his problem before it takes a complete hold of him and gets harder and harder to control.

Speak soon.

Velvet

• This reply was modified 1 year, 5 months ago by velvet.
• This reply was modified 1 year, 5 months ago by velvet.

Hi Debbie

The Friends and Family group is between 1900 ours and 2000 UK time.

Only F&F members can come into a group and there is often only 2 or 3 of us present, completely safe and private. Nothing said in the group appears on the forum which means we can really open up.

Well done on all you are doing.

Velvet

Hi Debbie

Continue providing emotional support for your son. Let him know that you care about his well-being and that you’re there to help him overcome this challenge.

It’s great that he’s planning to work and repay the money lost. This can teach him important financial lessons about responsible money management.

Ensure that your son understands the risks and dangers associated with gambling, including the potential for addiction. Education is a key component of prevention.

Encourage him to pursue other interests and hobbies to fill his time and reduce the temptation to gamble. Family activities and outings are a great way to bond and create positive experiences.

It’s crucial to address your son’s gambling issue promptly. Encourage ongoing communication and support his efforts to make amends. Monitor his online activities, maintain limits, and prioritize family time. Professional counseling is vital for addressing underlying issues. There’s hope, but vigilance and continued intervention are key.

I’m truly sorry to hear about the challenges your family is facing. It’s positive that your son is taking steps to address the issue, such as working to repay you and seeking support from a mental health worker. Setting limits on social time and monitoring his phone are proactive measures. It’s difficult to predict if this is an isolated incident, but by maintaining open communication and staying involved in his life, you are creating a supportive environment. Consider exploring educational resources together about responsible gambling to enhance his awareness. Continue to encourage him to engage in positive activities, and keep reinforcing the importance of making responsible choices. If needed, consult with professionals in the field for additional guidance. Your commitment to helping him through this challenging time is a crucial step toward finding hope and a way forward.