Now, stop!! I lost it all after being almost 2 yrs gamble free. I can tell you despite my compulsive gambling I’m still less in debt than my friend who is a compulsive spender and has never gambled a minute in her life. She’s also still in denial.

Today’s world is full of temptations for everybody. It’s hard to live the commercial life we are being served by media all the time. People have skeletons in their closets, don’t think it’s harder for you than anyone else out there.

You’re not in denial, so you are still one step ahead than many out there.

God has always left a window open for us if we decide to stop the auto destructive behavior. For instance, we come as compulsive in our gambling, often spending hundreds or thousands in minutes, while at the same time he has made us very rigid in our spending habits. We think twice about spending 5$ on a meal, a shirt, a concert or whatever. Once the gambling stops, the rigid spending habits remain and this makes us able to pay off debt, live and bounce back. It’s only one of our windows. 

Try to relax. Try to get some sleep. In 2 days you won’t be feeling half as bad. Even though it may not be clear to you now, there is always a way out that doesn’t include hurting yourself.

Hi Rayman
Your friends here know about your problem and understand what has happened, they will not want you to go.
Some of your friends who didn’t know about your problem invited you to hang with them in a casino.
Two sets of friends and you have failed neither. Those who didn’t know probably still don’t know, those who do know will not think you have failed them.
Keep posting here Rayman and allow yourself the gift of seeing beyond this slip – if I didn’t know that the addiction to gamble could be controlled, I wouldn’t be writing to you. It is understandable that it takes time to live gamble-free; it isn’t easy to change behaviour but walking away will definitely change nothing.
In your post you give a sound reason for telling your friends you have a problem – that could be the difference between being how you feel now and being the person you want to be.
One day you may come to realise that this miserable experience might be the greatest education of your life. Make this slip work for you and don’t allow it to define who you are.
Keep posting
Velvet

Hi Rayman,
you lost some money – when you put the whole thing into perspective -that’s all you did. You didn’t kill !

It’s really hard when we relapse and really difficult to cope with a huge loss . it will take time to recover but recover you will.

Your family and friends however would never recover for their whole lives from the loss of you – I know – I live it every day.

Things are bad right now but as someone advised- get sleep, be kind to yourself and set those barriers so high that it will be impossible for you to gamble.

You can do this and you can quickly return to those happy gamble free days.

This is a horrible blip. Give yourself a week and then write about how you feel. Don’t rush into anything-impulsiveness is one of our biggest character fautls.

Remember your T words

take the time to think things through.

Rayman- to err is human -Don’t be so hard on yourself.
Hang in there -you have overcome this before and you will again!

Hi Rayman
The only way is up !
You are here and you will recover from the past ten days !
Was so pleased to see your post today .

Hi Rayman
I think listing the positives is a great step forward.
I guess it’s about acceptance – accepting that the money is gone and moving on from here.

Get an early night , get up extra early and get to work extra early. See tomorrow morning as the start of your new improved life .
I am doing something similar !

Onward and upwards !

Hey Rayman. Glad you’re feeling better.

Yes, you’re not in debt, that’s a very positive note. Don’t get into debt.

Which you will if you continue gambling.

Your current losses, ***** them off to some misfortune. We CG’s are very good liars so why not use this to our advantage? Lie to yourself a bit. Tell yourself that your savings are gone because you wrecked your car and needed to buy a new one. Help yourself. I don’t know a single person that hasn’t had some misfortune that hasn’t caused them to loose money.

One lady I know bought an expensive horse, only to have the horse tear it’s tendons 6 days after she brought him home. He was never able to jump again.

One friend got drunk, caused an accident, wrecked his car and the car he ran into and had to pay 8000 euro in damage costs.
Luckly, no one was hurt.

Hi Rayman,

So, the good news is you know you can stop – you did it before you can do it again.

What can you do differently this time?

It is up to you whether you tell your friends that you have a problem – it is however very important that you tell them that you have decided to stop gambling, otherwise there will be no reason that they won’t invite you again at some point in the future.

You only intended to play with that 20? Then it sounds like you had access to far more than that. Why carry that much money? Or access to that much money?

From what you wrote on the Lottery Thread I started it sounded like you didn’t think thigns like that were a problem – you will give yourself greater chance of success by avoiding all forms of gambling. Don’t feed the addiction, let it starve.

You are “hoping” you don’t gambel when you get paid? What thigns can you put in place before payday?

Keep posting. let us know the positive steps that you are taking

Hi, Rayman, I’m wondering how are you doing?

I know what it’s like to loose a big chunk of your savings.

The regret, the wishing you could turn back time, the disgust,. Endless mind racing ….”Should I give it another try or not?”. I’ve been there. It’s hell.

You’ve only lost your money, don’t let them take your life.

Hi Rayman,

I know what it’s like to start gambling again. I was proud to pick up my five year chip. Sometime after I just decided to gamble. I chose the place and snuck in and out like a thief. Looking over her shoulder. I continued for almost two years. Losing my self respect and lying to friends and family. I sunk pretty low in a lot of ways. Thankfully I have been back in recovery this past year almost. And I will need all the help I can get. Due to health issues I have been unable to drive until recently. But now that I’m back on the roads myself and driving by pubs and hotels and restaurants that are all set up as legal gambling venues I am unsupervised. My family including inlaws and friends know and would either not participate or rat on me to my partner. Long story! But now, i run the risk of bumping into them if I gamble again. So far I’m ok. I quickly returned to not wanting to gamble when I used this site regularly and I discussed my finances with my partner. The good news is you have experience being gamble free. Try and return to the patterns you were using when you were gamble free last time. Then try and fill any holes in your past plan. It is good to not allow ourselves access even when we feel we have it under control. The change in boss and the subsequent moving of job really had an impact on you. Sometimes its the situation that changes and that triggers feelings we want to forget. I’m glad you are here. Try and use breathing techniques and mindfulness to ease your anxiety and assist with sleep. Meditation is great, although that’s on my own to do list. You’ve done it before, you can do it again. Time to put the beast back to sleep. And if friends give you the invite, well, you just don’t gamble! Better things to do with your money and time.

take care,
Laura

Laura

Sorry, I wasn’t meaning that you should tell a lot of people. I only ever suggest telling someone that you totally trust not to use it against you or throw it in your face. My family was supportive and helpful. My husbands not so much. He told his mom who told his whole family. I was not happy but nothing I could do after the fact. Turns out I thought I was hiding it better than I did anyway. I had a family member control my finances for a while. I couldn’t ban or block so I had to do something to help me. I tried controlling my gambling before as well. Sometimes I’d do ok for a week. Or maybe even a month without too much of a dip in funds. But sooner or later I would be looking for the rush and my luck would be down. I’d empty my bank account trying to feel it. It’s not the money we are really after in the end. Well done on day 4. One day at a time. Getting through each day as it comes. Try to focus at work. It will get better as you know. You’ve been here before ??

The longer we lay the beast to sleep, the weaker he becomes!!! Powerful statement and very true….got let it go and be free, thanks

Hi Rayman
A year is a drop in the ocean compared to your lifetime.
When you look at how much you have achieved in 12 days, pause for a moment and think what a year will bring you and then stop worrying about it – you can only live one day at a time, so enjoy today.
Velvet

Hey Rayman, how are things going? I hope you are getting some support maybe professionally and from friends. This addiction is tough but you can do this. Surround yourself with as much support as you can get. And don’t forget to use your GT friends here. We are rooting for you. We know what you are going through. And we do not judge. Progress not perfection. Take care,
Laura

It can feel so hopeless. Like quicksand sucking us down into the depths. Don’t give up Rayman. What can you do to keep your money safe? It takes a long time to get our thinking straightened out after we are in the middle of this bad. Can you ban from the casino? Can you have someone look after your money for you? I know it seems we should be able to do this ourselves but whatever it takes to put blocks or barriers between you and gambling do it! You have to save yourself from you if that makes any sense. And then you have to give yourself time to work on the addiction and what is at the root of it. White knuckled abstinence won’t help. Sooner or later we have to deal with the addiction. Take care Rayman. 40 days before, you can do it again. Laura

Please don’t ever feel alone in this. We are not alone. We are the few here that chose to fight this addiction and not let it control the rest of our lives. That was one of the things that helped me stop. Realizing that I would gamble every last cent right into my old age. And I would have nothing, do nothing and leave nothing for my children. And I was in my 30’s when I started gambling. I loved it that much. So sad and a waste of a person’s time and resources. Please hang in there Rayman. You can’t give up. There is always something else you can try to stop. Take care, Laura

Hey Rayman
Onwards and upwArds .

Don’t fear hold you back – feel the fear and do it anyway !
You are not alone – the forums are kinda quiet right now – always seem to be this time of year – but even when we don’t get time to post we read .

Keep really strong !
It will be so worth it

Hey Rayman
Onwards and upwArds .

Don’t fear hold you back – feel the fear and do it anyway !
You are not alone – the forums are kinda quiet right now – always seem to be this time of year – but even when we don’t get time to post we read .

Keep really strong !
It will be so worth it

Haven’t had time to post but I do read daily. Gambling just takes us down an awful road, just read some of my posts and you will see where it took me. You can stop, we just have to,really want to and for me it was hitting my rock bottom, I hope you don’t get to that point.
Just remember you are not alone. It is progrsssive and it took every last penny of mine, as it will do for,us all. Don’t hate yourself, forgive yourself and protect your money. Gambling sucks, really it does.

Hey Rayman, you doing ok? So difficult. Does your work come with a health plan that allows counseling? I really think you need to talk with a professional. If you can find a well qualified professional with experience with gambling addiction it can be so helpful. My government runs a gambling addictions rehab facility and out patient program. Was the best “luck” I ever had. Gamblers anonymous also helped. My group was terrific. Barriers helped tremendously. This addictions is a silent killer. The shame at what we are doing keeps us from telling someone who can truly help us. I found someone to help with my money for a while. So I wouldn’t binge away all my savings. It’s like asking a drug addict who is just started rehab to hold on to a bag of drugs. It is true you need to find someone you can trust not to misuse your money. I chose a parent. You won’t have to do it forever but it sure helps with temptation. You can do this. Sometimes it just takes us a while to get the message how serious this addiction is and how long it can take to break it. We are never cured however. But we can have a good life. Thinking of you.
Laura

You are right, for us, anyway. Gambling will only cause despair and grief.
Keep going, you are doing great!
Love K xx

So good to see your update. Hope your method continues to work for you. Don’t forget to treat your self in other ways. We think nothing of blowing it gambling. A little balance helps us not feel deprived. Keep going! take care of your self. Laura

Well done Rayman. Thanks for posting – it encourages us all.

Feeling the love my friend and right back at ya!!!!! You made me smile this morning. Love k K xxxxxxxxxxx