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Online Slots Took Over My Life

neveragainslots — Fri, 14 Jun 2024 08:41:44 +0000

So…Finally I am here. writing about my story. Online gambling has completetly taken over. It all started 2 years ago and I have played everyday since then. Starting with the small bets and increasing everyday. Think today I have lost $20000, just by tring to win back my loses. I got a good job which allows me to keep playing. but I dont want to. But somehow I cannot stop? why? I always know I get the money back from my job. But if I just saved it and didnt play I would have so much?

Hopefully I did my last bet today. Will keep writing in this thread everyday and keep you guys updated to try to distract my self from gambling. Have blocked my self everywhere now. Make this nightmare end.

Please if you got some tips let me know.

I am totally done with this gambling word. Time to get free. I am 27 years old. Its not to late i tell my self. So I really hope I stop this time.

Honestly. I am here to just write out my feelings. I have told noone about my problems so this is kinda a good feeling to write out some of them.

Thank you

The post Online Slots Took Over My Life appeared first on Gambling Therapy.

This addiction is killing me from inside.

housedd — Wed, 28 Dec 2022 00:51:30 +0000

Hello everyone.(again)
I am compulsive gambler and iv been that for 6 years straight now.Tried to quit many times but i always found excuses to go back to casino and hit that play big button.Yesterday after 1 week being gamble free i relapsed.I lost 400 euros in 30 mins.During this short period of being gamble free i felt a bit better,i occupied my mind with other things.But i guees it was not enough,or im just a weak person.
I was walking to my girlfriends place because we had to organize some stuff around new year.I brought 400 e with me for shoping.I stoped at gas station to buy some cigarrets then in corner of my eye i saw a new opened casino.Something in me just flaped.I just said to myself that i will just lose 50 eu and thats is,not more.Point is i shouldnt go there in first place but i did anyway.I found excuse in my head,its just another small bet,why not.Ofc everything turned bad.I went in,lost 50 in 3 mins,then lost 350 in next half an hour.That moment when i lost everything i just stood up took glass of water and threw it into the machine.Bartender came and asked me to stay with him,because casino doesnt have any security and i managed to quickly ran away.I got into my car and drove home,i didnt go to my girfriends place because i didnt know what to say about money,i just said that i need to finish some private stuff and that i would come later.I got home,i went to my room,and started crying,screaming into pillow,asking myself why i did it again.This happend fourth time since i tried to quit and every time gets worse.I feel so useless and ashamed,i developed deppresion since i started.And scariest thing is doesnt even matter if i win,most of the time i will leave all my winnings in casino.Iv been chasing the rush whole time.I know deep inside that i need to stop or my life will never be normal,but right now i just dont see how i can and everything seems lost and is getting worse everyday.Im scared to tell my girlfriend because of her reaction,she didnt deserve this nor my family.
I just thought that i will feel better writing this and to be honest i do.I read a lot of topics and i know that im not the only one here.

The post This addiction is killing me from inside. appeared first on Gambling Therapy.

I did it again

housedd — Thu, 10 Nov 2022 12:57:06 +0000

Hello again,i posted here roughly 2 weeks ago because i wanted to stop gambling but today after 2 weeks of being clean i relapsed,i went to casino with my last money and lost it all.I cannot describe how i feel right now.I feel anger,i feel that i betrayed my family that i dont have power over my own actions and all of these are harsh truth.Nowadays i cant remember my life before i started to gamble,it seems that all good memories have vanished.I dont remember when was the last time i had good laugh.It is really fascinating how one life can be changed so much because of of some slots.
Now after some time i realize that i have serious issue thats impacting my life in various areas.I became depressed,not willing to go to work,relationship with my girlfriend is deteriorating because of my actions,and the worst thing of all is im hiding all of this from my loved ones because im scared of their reaction because im the last person they expect to be gambler.Winning money doesnt make sense now,i just play to feed this urge and thats it.Today i decided even with more courage and strenght that i will not gamble,for my family,my girlfriend and for me.

The post I did it again appeared first on Gambling Therapy.

Lowest point in my life.

housedd — Mon, 31 Oct 2022 11:17:21 +0000

Hello people.
After a long and horrible period of being lost i decieded that i should share my story with someone because noone knows about my problem.Gambling is affecting my life last 3 years.Iv been losing a lot of money first year and really didnt care much about it.Probably because i had it enough and i was earning well.Then covid came,i lost my job,had some trouble at home.Casino was place where i would escape from reality because i couldnt deal with it.Anyway,it became my everyday life,i think that in past 3 years there wasnt a day that i didnt think of it.There were some period of 10 15 days when i would stop but then i started to gamble again with more intensity.Been losingva lot of money since then.I really dont know hot explain what i feel.What scares me the most is that i dont laugh anymore,im completely different person now.Got depression,relationship with my gf is in critical state becausebi have terrible mood swings every day,and she doesnt know what is it all about.Noone really knows.There were days when i would just sit in my room and cry l because i couldnt hold it.I never knew that my life will deterioratebto this level.Never felt so empty and helpless because im not able to do anything.I decided that i want to stop again for my girfriend and my family because i love them.I feel vetter knowing that im not alone and that you guys are here even if we dont know eachother.
So yea,today is the start.
P.S Sorry for my english it is not my native language.
Take care.

The post Lowest point in my life. appeared first on Gambling Therapy.

Worst year of my life.

vintagehoby — Wed, 04 May 2022 21:01:34 +0000

Hello guys,after 3 month of writing here for the first time im back.
Been working abroad,trying to keep this urge to gamble away but i just couldnt.While i was working in Netherlands i lost most of my money,didnt save anything came back home and gambled here also.I thought that when i go abroad and have some ocupation that i will leave this problem in my home country,but you cant outrun yourself,right?This week im starting to work again after some vacation.I really want to stop now,because i cant take it anymore.These mood swings are killing me,for one part of the day im completely normal person,and later when i lose money i feel that my world is falling apart.As i wrote here i can rarely find happines in life,everything lost its meaning.So yea,im here again,with you guys,fighting the same battle i was fighting for last couple of years in hope i will find the light.

The post Worst year of my life. appeared first on Gambling Therapy.

Mentaly broken

vintagehoby — Tue, 25 Jan 2022 15:27:28 +0000

Hello again,i was gamble free since the last time i posted,but yesterday i relapsed.I think it hurts even more then before because i was clean and didnt gamble for aboout one month.I really dont know why i did it.I really feel bad about right now and seems to me that i will never the gambling go.I dont even play anymore to win money,its just inside my head so deep that i cannot explain it.I cant find joy in anything anymore,im hiding this dark secret from my girfriend and family but i notice that they think there is something wrong.I just wanted to wtite this here,thinking that i will feel better because i realize that there are a lot of people like me.
I dont knlw what to say really,i just hope that i will stay strong and get rid of this thing completely.Wish you all the guys that are reading the same.

The post Mentaly broken appeared first on Gambling Therapy.

Gambling changed me completely

vintagehoby — Fri, 17 Dec 2021 21:24:38 +0000

Hello guys,im new here.Im not native english speaker and i apologize in advance for that,hope everyone will understand what i write and what im about to say.
My gamling problem started last year in november when i came home from abroad.Gambling never attracted me in any way,i was really not interested into football or basketball or betting.One day my friend invited me to sports caffe which is also casino to watch our national team in football.Betting company that owned casino had their own phone app which you install and you can bet while you are at home or wherever.I deposited 20 e and i got some bonus which is pretty usual these days,they all offer some welcome bonuses.I came home after that night and while i was drinking morning coffe i played this games and won 2 jackpots in a row which was around 700 e.
I took that money tomorrow and i said that is just pure luck and that i will never deposit again.But after few days i thought,why shouldnt i deposite more money,i made 700 from 20,right?
Then things started to go bad slowly.I started to deposit every day losing lots of money and i was lying to myself that it will be last time,and i felt so bad and hopeless,i said that i will never go to casino and play real slot machines but i started to go to casinos also and lose money on real slots.One year of this agony,i realized that im totaly different person today,my relationship is in jepardy because of this,im lying to my family and i really dont know what to do.I never felt more hopeless in my life,nothing brings me joy anymore,my only source of fun or happines is when i win some money or just playing slots.
Im sorry for longer post,hope you dont mind it.

The post Gambling changed me completely appeared first on Gambling Therapy.

From Impactful Winnings to Crazy Debts

ajgamba — Mon, 13 Dec 2021 15:08:14 +0000

boy oh boy.. 2020 started off crazy for me. well for all of us.
a little about me before i get into the nitty gritty.
I’m a 24 year old from Ukraine, with a gambling addiction. I’m not from any rich background, and i freelance as a developer.
I always thought in moments of regret, why I gamble, and why I’m pushing myself into a hole of dept at such an age, and I always seem to have the same answer, loneliness and boredom. not to mention online influencers.
i started off gambling in the start of 2020 on an online casino, gambling around the 2-3$ mark. it was just tasteful fun and experience, that didn’t really have any impact on me financially. One day i hit a jackpot with 2$ and cashed out 1000$. it took mere seconds for the to happen.. i believe that’s were i got hooked. yeah, i still work the same job as i did in 2020 but I make a bit more. but just for context, I don’t gamble with 2-3$ anymore, the minimum bet i toss into online slots or roulettes is around the 100-400$ per bet. so sometimes i end up spending 1-3k$ per day. every month i have a dept to close. but every now and then i hit small jackpots giving me hope that someday I’ll hit a big one which might secure something in my future.
this.. mental strain and depression is really getting to me. I’m writing this after losing 5k$ today taken from my savings account. Trying to make back last month’s lost money. instead burying myself in deeper dept. the scariest thing about all this, is how well aware i am of the grave mistakes I’m doing and how i keep doing them despite this fact.

The post From Impactful Winnings to Crazy Debts appeared first on Gambling Therapy.

I thought I was alone in feeling this way

stopchasingjackpots — Mon, 01 Feb 2021 09:01:38 +0000

Since the age of 23, the first time I got a taste of slot machine victory, I have been a gambling addict. It is so hard to type those words, because I’ve used every excuse in the book to tell myself I wasn’t an addict. That stops today. I’m 41 now and I’m done feeling this way.
Writing is my escape. I penned this poem a few weeks ago. I’m sharing it with this group because I know now, for the first time in my life, that I’m not alone.

A solitary thrill
Fleeting in ashes
I breathe again at dawn
Anxious for the epiphany
That shatters with the light

Crawling quicker each time
It pulls me back to hell
Eternal in its success
Bleeding the promised life
Turning my glitter to dust

Lurking all this time
A shadow they don’t see
The show’s too damn good
Perfected slight of hand
They’ve never seen the fall

I have to get back now
Before I crack the facade
Revealing broken trusts
A spotlight on my shame
Known to all instead of one

The post I thought I was alone in feeling this way appeared first on Gambling Therapy.