I’m considering letting some else control my money if the money is not there it might stop the urge could be an option for you I know the feeling of hating your self how much have you lost?

Putting stops along the way can help.if am not mistaken that is one of the things that gamblers need to do inorder to start you recovery. If you have the desire to stop yo will go far but you really have to make changes.I wish you the best your in the right track…..you and your loves should work on ways that can help but let them help,i wish that my cg would understand that and let us help we really do care for his well being, the money does hurt but it hurts more to see th sadness in thier eyes and how helpless they feel but your not alone get the help….

Well if you have kids as you metioned they know what going on , our children are sad that thier cg dad is gone and they miss him and wish that the was here full time.The oldest said the other day that he doesnt know his dad anymore,its like part time . Dont let time go by got theapy and to those ga meeting all the time they told me that in order for my ga husband has to go all the time .life is waiting you just have to get ahold of it and not the casino of you .Your family wants you there wants you to ok but you have to try with your heart and with all the help that you can get ….try dont hide oopen your self and let your love ones in i wished my cghusband understood that. dont push them away.. best of luck and dont give up

I can relate to your comments about your kids feeling kind of distant and almost like new acquaintances. It really is like getting to know your family all over again in a way. For me there was a lot of awkwardness and resentment that built up over a period of time due to my absence and the stress/pain it caused my wife and kids. The trust was completely broken. I have had my daughter scream she hates me straight to my face on more than one occasion as I was beginning my recovery and yes it hurt very badly. But I had hurt them very badly too, so I really had it coming.

But it has gotten progressively better after a rocky period. It is a wound that takes time to heal. I just need to accept that and make things the best I can from now forward. Making amends is a very important part of our recovery. It hurts as sometimes I felt rejected as I was trying to be good, helpful and loving, but when those times came, I told myself that my actions created this situation in the first place, so I need to accept it and keep trying, day by day to make things right.

The machines are not your friend, but they do help you avoid/postpone the hard work that is necessary to rebuild relationships. You will find that putting that hard work in will pay great dividends in increasing your own genuine happiness in the long run. Gambling happiness (a win) is fake, is temporary, and will lead to greater unhappiness 100% of the time.

It sounds like you are feeling a lot of pain and anxiety at this time, and I hope you can take some small solace in the idea that it will get better if you keep working at it. Take care.

https://www.gachicago.org/urges.html

Thanks
Janey

I just told a friend last night, (an online friend) how empty I feel. I can put on a good act at work. But, I really am uncomfortable hanging out with people. The machines have been my escape and my best friend for so long… The self hatred I feel, scares me. Last night, I had a wake up call. I lost a lot of money. I had like two drinks, but I was pissed off and upset. I hit the curb, blew out my tire. It was just a wake up call. If you read my profile you will understand why,
The only way I can get back to being around people and having friends, Is to start to like myself again. Only one way to make that happen. Don’t ever gamble again.

whilst there often a way to bypass these controls you must do all you can whilst you still have a chance.

why have you only considered it and not yet done it. i think you haven’t yet done it, because you know when you do you won’t be able to gamble large amounts!

strike while the irons hot.

tell as many people as possible.

when i recently confided in a colleague it turned out he also had a problem but were both keeping it to ourselves. now we share advice feelings etc.

It sounds like you are feeling a lot of pain and anxiety at this time, and I hope you can take some small solace in the idea that it will get better if you keep working at it. Take care.

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