[iknowicandobetter]

I’ve always been a person that’s liked to go to the casino, dance, eat, drink and gamble. However, it was never a problem or a serious issue until about a year ago.

The emotional pressures of life have ruined me to the point where the only place I felt alive was in a casino. I would always go alone over this past year, more and more frequent. Dealing with an emotionally and sometimes physically SO, an ailing father, a mother who is mentally unstable, it led me down a very dark and deep path of depression. In trying to make everyone happy all the time, I’ve really lost myself. I understand I have battered woman syndrome, and it’s not easy for me to leave who I’ve been with. When it comes to my parents, they’re my parents. Even through the turmoil, I still love them. But this has affected me to the point where it’s almost ruining my life now.

I would go to the casino maybe once a week, play my freeplay and $100 and be done. Over the last year, I have completely wiped out my savings, I have become in a way obsessed with going, and I know deep down its to run away from my problems. I finally admitted to myself back in March that I have a problem, but this has such a stigma attached to it that I was embarrassed to tell anyone, not even my dogs.

I’d like to know how any of you have overcome using the casino or gambling as a vice for your personal issues. And, before you say that I need to rectify my personal situations, please be kind and understand that more often than not, I feel stuck. I know I am better than this, I know I have a tremendous amount of will power and strength, and I know I can overcome this with patience and time, and being kinder to myself. Any advice you can offer, I would appreciate. Thanks for listening, this is actually very therapeutic.

Thanks,
IKIBTT

[zoya]

Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums.

Here at Gambling Therapy, we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum, you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum, so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group on Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you ??
Take care.
The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[velvet]

Hi IKICDB

I wouldn’t dream of telling you that you ‘need to rectify your personal situations’ – there are no easy answers, no magic bullets and I do not own a crystal ball.

You have done really well writing your first post. ‘You’ made the decision to open up here; it could not have been easy and yet you managed it and found it therapeutic.

I understand ‘losing oneself’ whilst trying to keep others happy; it’s an easy situation to fall into and difficult to rise against but you have acknowledged that you know that you can do it, which is a fantastic rallying cry. You know you can take ‘your’ life back under ‘your’ control and now I know it too.

You are not to blame for wanting to escape. You didn’t ask for, or want, the problems you are experiencing. I’m so sorry you feel there is a stigma attached to the way you feel and I do urge you to share your feelings with your dogs who will never judge but just love you for who you are.

I’m going to leave it there for now. I just wanted you to know that there are people listening who want to support you as you gather that ‘tremendous amount of will power and strength’ to change you life. It will take time but just for today you have taken a big step so once again – well done.

Velvet

[iknowicandobetter]

Hi, Velvet.
Thank you so much for the kind words and support. This has been really hard for me. I finally fessed up and admitted my addiction and problem with some loved ones, some found out on their own. I realized through this that the ones that love me truly, they have been nothing but supportive with me, asking how they can help, even offering to go to counseling with me. The others have taken it almost personal, like I was intentionally trying to hurt or harm them, when that is really further from the truth. I am the one that takes this burden on, I am the one that suffers, and I am by no means pointing fingers or trying to play victim, this is the reality of what this situation is.

I have to learn how to manage stress better, than trying to find an outlet like gambling. I do have my first therapy session today which I am actually pretty excited about and in a way, relieved. Admitting my problem has in a way – freed me from the grips of the evil of gambling.

Your words have made me feel like I have more support, and that really does mean the world to me. The times when I thought I could never start a road to recovery for this because I was so embarrassed to ask for help or admit my mistakes, I realize my fears of admitting my addiction weren’t realistic.

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart

[charles]

Hi and well done on looking for help. Also well done on being honest with some of the people around you.

I certainly wouldn’t tell you to sort out any other issues to solve your problem, for two reasons: firstly it is unlikely you would be able to focus on sorting something else out while still in the grip of addiction. Secoundly, thoughh long term it might be usefult to address other issues that wouldn’t solve your gambling problem anyway. Once we cross the line into addiction gambling becomes a promlem in it’s own right, regardless of the cause. If/when you address other issues you still won’t be able to return and gamble “normally”

Using support is also important. You now have this thread to keep a r3ecord of your recovery journey, hopefully I’ll see you in a group soon as well. There are a lot of other support options around these days as well. See if you have a Gamblers Anonymous meeting in your area, no one there would judge you and you can get great support. Keep posting.

The supportive members of the family can help with some of the practical steps you will read about on other threads here. Financial accountability, maybe going with you as moral support when you exclude form your usual/local casinos.

[iknowicandobetter]

Thank you, you’re right. I need to take this one step at a time so that I don’t get overwhelmed – I will take that advice to heart and try to stick to that. I have always been a woman that’s tried to solve the worlds problems all at once and that’s just not realistic.

I do plan on joining a GA call here that happens on Wednesdays. Pair that up with once a week in person therapy and I think this may be exactly what I needed. Either way, I am committed to making a positive change and I will stick with it. As of today, I am now one week casino free with no urge to go, haven’t even thought of it. I am hoping that admitting it and facing what I have because of this over the last week is what I needed to get on track.

[calmaz]

Hi this is my first post lying here hating myself stopped gambling for years and last few months have not been able to stop the money I have spent the lying to my family just makes me feel so bad so I took first step by joining on here

[monica]

Hi Calmaz,

First of all welcome. You made your first step asking for help and here you’ll realize that you’re not alone.

Here at Gambling Therapy, we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum, you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum, so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group on Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you ??

Take care.

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[calmaz]

Sat in my garden having gamble for more ten 36 hours now it’s hard but I am determined to stop I don’t want to lose my family over this my anxiety is so high lying to those you love hopefully this will get easier

[velvet]

Hi Calmaz

Please start your own thread so that you can replies and support that is right for you.

Velvet

[velvet]

Hi IKICDB

It would be great if you ‘spoke’ on the forum again – I look for you every day and hope you are doing well.

Admitting a gambling addiction is a big step towards tackling the problem and you have done that.

I was so pleased that you were brave enough to open up and that you have loved ones who are willing to support you, their support is invaluable.

There will always be people who just do not and cannot understand. I think with those people it is good to say that you are not seeking opinions or advice but that gentle support wouldn’t go amiss. It is so important that the ignorance of others doesn’t sway your determination to succeed.

How did your in-person therapy session go? I know facing a gambling addiction isn’t easy but I do know that the effort is worthwhile – or I wouldn’t be writing to you.

Keeping a journal would possibly be a great support to you – you can look back and see how far you have come.

Thinking about you

Velvet

• Dette svar blev ?ndret 1 ?r, 5 m?neder siden af velvet.

[housedd]

Hi there,hope you are okay.
When i read your post i kinda found myself there.Texts and writing cannot truly explain how we feel but we try our best here because that is what we need to do.Gambling became our everyday life,escaping harsh reality.We try to fix ourselves by going to casino or playing online slots,injecting that false dopamine.I feel you,a lot of bad things happened in my life and im the person who is not that open to talk.I just snaped so i wrote post today,because i cant take it anymore.You are here because you can do it,dont let anyone tell you anything else.I know people who escaped this hell and now live happy life.We need to be consistant in our battle.I wish you all the best,you deserve it.
Ps
If anyone who sees this wants to talk over a zoom or skype im open to that,i think we can support eachother and share our stories,it helps.

[iknowicandobetter]

Hi, everyone – I’m still here. I’ve been going to therapy once a week for this addiction, and I am really proud to say that I haven’t stepped foot in a casino in a little over a month. It was very hard at the beginning but I really don’t think much of it now. I think in a way I have traumatized myself from this awful experience, losing so much money in a short period of time. I just read all of your posts, and it’s very humbling to see all of this support and know that I (nor you), are alone. I will continue to keep everyone updated – some days are definitely easier than others, but I am taking it one day at a time. Love you all

[Forfatter]

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