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Sat, 11 Sep 2021 12:55:54 +0000https://www.gettogethablog.com/?post_type=topic&p=138147I separated from my husband 6 weeks ago. I live in uk so no prenup and it scared me that he can gamble my whole life away. It’s took me years to build but he can ruin it in one press of a button. I’m lucky to be able to talk to my husband still […]
]]>I separated from my husband 6 weeks ago. I live in uk so no prenup and it scared me that he can gamble my whole life away. It’s took me years to build but he can ruin it in one press of a button. I’m lucky to be able to talk to my husband still so it’s been amicable which has helped in ways.
I still love him, it has entirely broken me but I try to remember that im strong and I’m doing this to take care of me and my future. Sometimes that’s had to remember between the utter pain. I try to remember that it won’t always feel so devastating as it does now. I know that Iv made the right choice.
I realise that I’m always the adult always looking after us but who is looking after me?
I was told to imagine how I would feel if I was still living in this situation in 5 years? He broke my trust, he lied, his behaviour makes me worry about my own financial security, it makes me feel physically unwell with worry. I’m exhausted. I do not want to separate from my husband I don’t want to go through this pain but I realise it’s necessary.
It feels like there are 2 people – my husband who I love and the risk taking gambler. I was not aware of any gambling issues then after knowing each other for years we got married. Within months he woke me up to tell me he had borrowed and lost ￡50k. We are on low incomes this was massive. We tried to sort this out but I made it clear this is not what I intended for my future.
Over a year later it’s happening again so game over. He did not come to me and tell me he made a mistake, he did not say he was going to get some help. He told me it wasn’t gambling and I know we can’t move forward with that so we are separated.
It feels like consciously or unconsciously he did not want to be married.
Iv had a hard life in places it took a long to find this man that I love with all my heart but now it is just so broken don’t think I can ever put those pieces together again