It’s still very early days for me but so many people on here comment about how much they value the non-materialistic things in life once the gambling is stopped. Time with family, catching up with friends, gardening, cooking. It’s all so humble and yet inspiring.

You’re right, society has made us all think that wealth and success can be measured by holidays, houses, cars, possessions. But no matter how cliché, the best things in life really are free.

Well done on your recovery, keep strong and keep posting x

Hi Gov!
No job is worth it if causes you to gamble or to be unhappy.
Even for half the salary, it would be better to change.
Would it be best to get your health in order before you start a new job? In that way you will be less worried about looking for sick leave when you are still new.
Why not take out Payment Protection on your salary. Can you do that through your Union? It would be one worry less when you are waiting for your surgery.

Why not take out a Credit Union Loan and clear all the Credit Cards, Gov?
The interest would be lower and you will see it coming down in your book every week. You don’t have to wait for statements to arrive in the post .

Hi Gov

￡1000 a month to one card is a huge payment, whilst the question isn’t can you afford it, the question would be will you sooner or later potentially resent recovery as you see no light at the end of the tunnel due to having to make so many drastic cutbacks

Have you considered something like a debt management plan, a plan that allows these cards to be paid but at a lower monthly payment and possibly over a longer period of time allowing you to have a few more pounds to have a few treats but knowing that your being totally responsible for your debt still.

There are numerous companies out there. the most common one has rebranded from CCCS to Step changee

H

Sorry to hear that you gambled last night, I know the feeling too well after years of it.
It’s really important that you see it for what it is a moment that you succumbed to this gambling addiction, this does not take away all the work and effort that you have put in so far, you still have all the gamble free time that has not gone away, so you know the difference in how you feel living recovery and now the terrible way you feel right now. All is not lost, what could you have done different to prevent last night? What was the feelings you had before you gambled?
Cut up the card, do what ever it takes to help you recover from this slip as once enlivened this monster knows no bounds and now its been fed you must get the blocks higher to protect you from it, you have learned from this Gov, in time my biggest trigger was complacency, believing that I could ’contol’ it well that will never happen because I am a compulsive gambler and once the reels start spinning there is no stopping, sending you hugs Gov, you can do it as you have been these past months, its not easy but see it for what it is, a blip on your pathway in recovery you have not failed, you will be back in recovery yesterday is dead and gone and so is the money, just accept that and don’t be hard on yourself Gov, you are dealing with a terrible addiction and dealing with it well. x

ok, firstly we must accept that the 400 or whatever the amount is has gone, we will never get it back by gambling what we will do is turn that 400 loss into a thousand loss and so on, we then feel we need to work even harder on it as we have so much more to chase to get back, fast forward sitting there, why did I not stop at 400 I could have coped with that, now it’s 4000! that’s the reality of our addiction our inability to accept its got us beat. When I finally admitted to myself that I can never ever beat it, it’s an illusion cos any win ultimately becomes a loss, and we know we don’t mean just the loss of the money!
You are not a big headed person at all Gov, you have fallen into the trap of complacency which I have done many times with stops of six months and so on, but that’s ok you now know that so you are in a better position to do something about it.
I think if you look back to your earlier posts, I can’t see it now but I remember one a few days ago about you being annoyed due to the huge payments you were having to make to your debts on the cards, this was the gambling addiction getting back in, trying to I think, lying to you again that you can win to pay off.
I can never say I will never gamble again as I have said that so many times in the past and then gambled and gambled my head in! never again is out of our comprehension once the pain wears off, so today, today I will not gamble forget about eternity, just today it works Gov.
x

you do have a lot going on right now no wonder you are feeling anxious, if you are anything like me the gambling is used to escape from the anxiety trouble is it magnifies it. I am not sure about the property and debt management I do think it would be worthwhile doing the free assessment tool on step change website, putting in all your situation and all your debts, you don’t need put your name in or anything and it will advise you as to your best course of action.
It’s ok to cry let it out Gov, you have hurt yourself with the gambling, you are a good person and do not deserve to suffer, just try to deal with one problem at a time when we feel we have so many issues to deal with it all gets too much creating ideal addition gambling situation. Do something good for you today, you deserve it.
Today is a new light, you are here because you want to live in the light and can do that, have been doing that and will again now.

This all sounds overwhelming, Gov but if you break it down it might help.
First you lost ￡ 400 last night.
Ask yourself how you got access to the card and how did you manage to gamble? (thought hubby was holding cards and looking after finances?)
Secondly, no matter how badly you feel you need to ”replace” that four hundred, for God’s sake DO NOT try to get it by gambling or you’ll add another zero to your 400 and to your woes!
Next step and the most important one is your Health. Are you in the UK? Do you not have free health care on the NHS? Ca you discuss this with your GP and ask him for sick certs to give to work so that you will get your due benefits. I have been getting Illness Benefit since 2013 when I had to take early retirement on ill health grounds. It’s a two year scheme.
Did you tell your hubby about last night and about all your worries? You really need to have a chat with someone. We all need hurdle help at different times in our lives.
Well done on posting here
Credit Cards are a curse for CGs because we just CANNOT handle them. I was in dispute with a CC Company for a few months I still owe them money They refused the ”Settlement” I offered Now they have stopped my card. GOOD!!!
Is there any way yo can offer them a ”Full and Final Settlement”? I did that 5 years ago with a different CC. Owed them over 8k They accepted 5500. That was the ending of my dealings with them
A relief
Just take it easy today Gov. Losing money causes us to be in shock Don’t make any rash decisions until your mind is clear.

Hi Gov well done on closing down the last one sounds like thats the last barrier you needed to sort out ?? M.

Hi Gov,

Sorry to hear about your stress and your recent lapse. i know what it’s like when you’ve got load of cr*p going on, stress and the knowledge that you;re still gambling. All the lies did for me last year, until they exploded this year. I an honestly say that after 69 days of not gambling my life is so different. It is still a mess, but I am now capable of dealing with the mess, one little bit at a time. I am living at my parents and they come back off holiday tomorrow. But I think it will be fine. have been exploring my own home town, just driving once familiar roads.

My heart goes out to you, you wrote really nice things to me when I was in a lot of pain before I went to GMA, and I will pray to a god of my understanding. GA is working so well for me. I have driven 80 miles in the last 2 days to attend 2 meetings. One in Derby and one in Stoke. Well worth it, once I get there an meet the others I am reminded what happened to me. Stops complacency. I know if I think I am cured and I can have 1 bet I am done for. Literally.

Take care, and all my love to you and yours

x

really good Gov that you managed to get the card company to stop the account.
I know you did not really want to sell the land but it seems like it will give you some peace with lessening the debts.
You said I am not going to forgive myself for the slip, Gov, to err is human, do you forgive others their slips? am sure you do why be so much harder on yourself?
A new chapter is possible every day, as long as we remember just for today I won’t gamble, Gov, remember all the good things you have done and put in place over the last three months you are doing exceedingly well, you need to forgive yourself, you deserve to be free.

Does the Other Half know you sold land to pay off G debt , Gov?
That’s a tough one!

Well done on the steps you have taken so far to stop gambling, be proud that you have done something about your addiciton, reaching out for help is often the hardest thing. GA meetings are wonderful.. for me anyway, not eveyone likes them but i find them incredibly beneficial. It is anonymous, its a safe place to go and somehow i always walk out feeling better than i walked in.. cant say the same for when i gambled!! What have you got to lose by going.

P

Hey Gov

How are you? I’m back posting but see you’ve not been around for a while. I pray that everything is good for you.

M

Hope things are improving for you, I have just been reading through my own old posts and re read one you placed on mine a while ago. Our stories have similarities, well pretty much in all the posts on here I can find things that relate to my life… funny really, people from all over the world going through the same life situations and experiences.
Anyway, I also have had another binge and reading through your recent posts it was all the feelings I am going through but find hard to get out, so thank you for sharing a part of your inner thoughts. You (and others) have helped me see that although our stories are our own, we all have similar experiences and emotions, reactions and responses to our lives. The support and advice that everyone shares here is wonderful. I am glad people who are well into their recovery also continue to share and support with people here. Take care Gov.