[maverick.]

Why do I never learn……….. this is the question I ask myself time and time again………in fact I have asked it all my life………….
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nI know how it always plays out…………the reason I know this is because its always the same…………..its never different………100% certain of what will always happen………..I lose……..hurt people…….cause stress
nand suffering………..
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nSo the question is WHY……………..why do I always end up gambling…………..I know happiness cannot be found from it I am certain of that and over the many years gambling has destroyed my soul………..
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nReplies in any way, shape or form would be gratefully received, thank you for reading and your time, always wish you all well.
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[i’m_free]

I am new ‘again’ to recovery from compulsive gambling and I understand your question of ‘why’. I think it’s an insidious addiction and we have to see it and treat it as such. We ourselves are not stupid or failures etc. , not at all. But, I have to be responsible to at least take measures to block myself asap not to ‘begin’ because once I start gambling I don’t have brakes. Bless you. Things will get better for all of us, life does not magically change when we stop and for me sometimes it seems harder… but a coping behavior that ‘ruins me’ is not coping at all. Free

[maverick.]

Thanks for the reply I’m free its gratefully received, your words are true and I do listen, I think I am weak mentally and need to strengthen that, I hope your life is getting back on track and wish you my very best in your recovery.
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nThanks again for your message and take care
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[G Rec]

The why is a really great question, and I think it is unique to each person, it can be one or more of a combination of things such as
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nThe Buzz
nTrying to fix financial issues through gambling
nRelease of stress
nChasing previous losses
nBoredom
nA temporary escape from other issues
nOther
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nI think this question is definitely worth exploring for each individual so that they can identify potential triggers, and try and do what they can to limit them.
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nThat said, I don’t think this question is one that you can ever be able to get a full and clear answer to. I also think that while working on this question, it is very important to also work on other questions such as the all-important – What barriers can I put in place to make it more difficult to gamble in the future such as
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nSelf Exclusion from both live and online gambling opportunities
nAccountability of spending by someone else having main access to your funds, or alternatively visibility
nLimiting instant access to funds
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[i’m_free]

I went to an online meeting on sunday eve. and the host said , ‘remember, we don’t have to figure out why we gambled to be able to start recovering from it’…? just what he said and I thought it was powerful or empowering.? But yes, getting into that deep invest. is part of the recovery journey.? ? I’m loving everyones posts and imputs.? Well I don’t love the pain and sadness but I appreciate those shares too , very much… we all know these feelings. Free

[charles]

Hi Mav, welcome back.
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nWhy we gamble isn’t as important as addressing the fact.
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nWhy do you keep going back to it? That’s probably a bit easier to answer. Probably because you stop using support. If you were still posting here you would be less likely to go back to it. if you were still getting to GA you would be less likely to go back to it.
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nThe secret to stop having to come back here? Don’t leave!! Keep posting and maybe see you in a group soon.

[lizbeth4]

Thank you so much for your post. It was greatly appreciated. Please don’t ever give up on recovery or yourself. You have a lot to offer the world. Remember that you are worth it.
nIt’s easy to become complacent and gamble. I know from experience. Keep fighting! Stay strong.

[CraigMac6]

One activity I found beneficial is to write down all the “positives” from gambling on one side of the paper, and write down a list of all the “negatives” of gambling on the other side of the paper. After doing this, you will most likely find a very short list, then a much longer list. After that is complete, I asked myself, “why would I do something that has such a negative affect on my life? ” Why would I gamble if it only has 1 or 2 benefits, whereas it has 10 to 15 negative affects. That’s the “WHY?” I ask myself.

Glad you are here. Lets do this together. One day at a time!

[Hawkman]

Why do I never learn……….. this is the question I ask myself time and time again………in fact I have asked it all my life…………

I can relate to this message. I feel like I take one step forward and two back some years. I beat drinking and can stop slots, though. I drank heavily for 10 years and it took another 10 of stopping and starting to really stop. I just finally realized it was never going to be enjoyable again or something I can do. I feel like it is finally sinking in with slots. It was fun at first but after so many negative gambling experiences and years of “should I/shouldn’t I do it” and kicking myself…I have no control when it comes to slots. It is best not to start again. It is not a way to make money and not much fun anymore either…just stressful and easy to lose control over. If I didn’t have a problem I would not think about it so much or analyze my behavior so much.

[kathryn]

Hiya Mav,
Im just about to head to bed but saw your name and im sorry you have found yourself back but glad you knew where to come.

You are actually wiser. You are much wiser than you were when you first found yourself on this website.

Question is, why? If nothing changes, nothing changes, no matter how wise you are.

You obviously have means and opportunity. Remove one (both would be better!) and eliminate the temptation. Doesnt mean you wont think about it, obsess over it (for a while) but at least you cant actually DO IT!
Then it allows for ‘normal’ thinking to start taking over. Taking over those revolting gambling thoughts. Eventually the norm will over ride the gambling thoughts. But you have to do the work. Only you can do this Mav.

Nope, its not easy, its actually pretty crappy at the time. But the end result is worth it. Believe me. Get those barriers up. You know what to do. YOU KNOW IT!

All you need to do is start.

Take care dear friend, Im always in your corner!

Love K xxx

[kathryn]

Thinking of you today MAV and hoping you’re hanging in there!!!
Start living and give this addiction a swift kick up the clacker!
You CAN do it, if I can, anyone can!
Take care of you!
K xxxx

[velvet]

Hi Maverick

Great to see you brought to the top again, it would be good to hear from you. Of course we always hope that everybody’s news is good but we wouldn’t be here if life was easy – so just hearing from you would be great because you matter to us.

Velvet

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