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Hello All,
I hope all of you are doing well today. I have been down this road many of times, and obviously have given in to the gambling addiction, but I feel different this time. I feel at peace with my decision to stop allowing gambling to ruin, control and take over my entire life. I have been placing sports bets for over a decade, and to be honest, it is getting tiresome. Over the years, I have realized that I will never truly win when it comes to gambling, and sports betting in specific. While I might go on a hot streak for a week or so, I will eventually just end up losing all of the winnings plus even more. I vividly recall winning a lot of money one night, and quite honestly, I never saw a dime of that money because I am helpless over this addiction. I am currently an ex tobacco (dip) user. I am over 5 years clean of my dipping addiction. I bring this up because I have battled an addiction before. While it is not easy, I know it can be done. The key for me is taking it one day at a time. Focusing on the moment and winning each day. I know if someone would have told me over 5 years ago I would be clean of dip, I wouldn’t have believed it; but through the one day at a time approach, I have been able to make it this far.
Back to my gambling addiction. I’m just tired to be honest. I’m tired of the same old rodeo over and over again. Deposit, win a little, lose it all, deposit, lose it all. Its the same thing over and over. My family deserves better, and quite frankly, I deserve better. The measures I will take to deposit money into my sports book account is quite embarrassing. Gambling has affected my health, my family, my finances, my career, and my overall well being in a negative manner. I know this journey will not be easy, but I deserve a better life than this.
Before I end this journal for today, I am a little worried about the “empty/depressing” feelings I will experience over the next couple days. I know it’s my mind being use to the fix and the rush of gambling; which causes me to feel differently without it. However, I do know its a tough stage of the recovery process but one I am willing to take head on. As I said before, my family deserves the best me, I deserve the best me and I cannot be the best me with gambling in my life. It’s that simple.
Thanks for reading and I hope to get to know some of your stories as we battle this addiction together, and one day at a time!Craig
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Hi there Craig,
Your post exactly describes what I am going through right now as well. Some of the words that really resonated with me – “taking it one day a time”, “Tired” “My family deserves better, and quite frankly, I deserve better” “Gambling has affected my health, my family, my finances, my career and my overall well being in a negative manner”.
I have been here before many times, but nothing has lasted more than a couple of months. Its tiring to know that I can make the same mistake over and over, without hesitating. It ends up being worst than the previous time around. I never imagined myself to be in such a situation, nut I really want this time to change. I want to be able to know that I can overcome this disease, and confidently know that for a better future.
But we both need to ensure that we do everything possible to get there, and ensure that we do not get complacent throughout the journey. I don’t have all the answers, but I know that I will do more this time around (zoom meetings, financial limits, talking with others, posting more consistently)
Know that you are not alone in any way, and thank you for starting your post.
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Hello All,
Thank you so much for your post Astrofly! A lot of what you said rings true to me as well, especially with doing “more this time around.” That’s so true on so many levels but mostly, the more we put into our quits, the more likely we will remain gambling free. Like you, I have quit for months at a time, most recently I went nearly 8 months without gambling. I have to admit, it was rather easy with the pandemic and limited amount of sports being played at the time.
While I do want to join meetings eventually, right now posting consistently will be my main priority. As I have ensured so much debt over the course of the last few months that I need to work (and work and work) in order to get back in control of my finances. Which brings me to another point, it’s easy for me to not gamble when things are tough and money is tight, but I need to remember to be vigilant when my finances do get in order. That’s when I truly need to be aware because the gambling devil comes when our guards are not up!
I will leave this post with one final comment and it is from a post I read yesterday of a fellow gambler trying to get their life back together and they said, gambling does not make my life any better, it makes it worse. HOW true is that?!?! I mean seriously, why are we doing something that negatively affects our life so much? What is the sense? Yes the thrill and the excitement is real but overall, it’s such a negative impact for us.
Have a great day all! Be safe and be gambling free! Day 2!
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Hello All,
Yesterday I found a credit card that actually had a remaining balance on the card! I know! I know! I thought all my cards were maxed out because of gambling, but I actually had some money on one card. I wasn’t looking for the money to gamble, I just happened to log into my account to see if I could possibly pay a bill, well well, once I realized I had a couple hundred dollars available, I immediately thought of making a deposit into my account. The old, “a few hundred dollars” into my account won’t hurt, blah blah blah; and to be honest, I believe the one thing that saved me was the fact I closed out my sportsbook account the other day. And in order to get it back activated it takes forever! It’s a pain and not worth it. As a gambler I want action right now! Not in 24 hours! Needless to say, I was able to think it through and recall my reason for this quit. However, without that plan in place (cancelling my account) I know I would have deposited yesterday. So thankful I didn’t!
Have a beautiful day all. Day 3, lets go!!! -
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Hey everyone! I hope all of you are doing well today. I’ve been stuck on the news today, as things were pretty crazy over here in the US yesterday. I can’t believe what I witnessed on TV. Such an embarrassment.
Yes we can be better, which is why we must come here consistently. Without it, we will go right back to gambling. This will help us hold ourselves accountable.
Day 4 here! I know I won’t be placing any bets today, what about you? -
Hello All,
Payday has always been a trigger for me, like it is most. However, today I’m going to make sure I pay my bills and keep it moving. No need to make any deposits, as those deposits will just become losses. Not only will they become losses but the amount of time and energy placed into those bets; isn’t worth it either.
Time to pay some bills and, like I said previously, keep it moving!
Have a great friday all!Day 5, feeling alive!
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Hello All,
I haven’t been here in 2 days, which is a habit I don’t want to get into, however, I am still gambling free. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t have multiple triggers over the weekend. As I have stated before, my addiction is sports betting and there were several NFL football games on this weekend. I definitely had the urge to place wagers over these games but I kept that thought in my mind of, if I go back to gambling, I know I will not win. Overtime, I always lose. That’s been true for over 10 years, why would it change now?
My addictive mind also tried to convince me I could just gamble a few games a day with a goal of winning $40 dollars per day, which would mean I would win about 280 dollars a week. Sounds good right? But I know, it doesn’t work that way because I’m a compulsive gambler that becomes very greedy when money is on the line.
Needless to say, if I would have placed bets on the games this weekend, the teams I would have picked all won. I would be sitting pretty this morning but guess what? I would have lost it all today somehow, someway on some games. That’s the way it worked. The greed would settle in and the need for action would persist, eventually causing me to lose and lose and lose.Well, I didn’t mean to ramble so much but I’m glad I got this off my chest. To be honest, I’m not really upset or down about not gambling, actually I feel good because I’ve spent so much time with my family instead of worrying and following scores. It’s been a relief.
Thanks for all your support Fly21! I hope you are doing well.
Be Blessed. Be Safe!One week down, Day 7, taking this one day at a time! Lets Go!
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