[carolyn]

Hello, I have come here to seek knowledge and comfort from others like me. I have been an addictive gambler for many years. It destroyed my marriage of 18 years. My husband and I were divorced last July/2010. He had finally had enough of my self destructive habit. Now I feel I am all alone trying to deal with it. I still love him very much but he has already moved on with another woman. If I had three wishes they would be…I would never have started gambling, I would have my husband back…..and we would live happily ever after!

[matt w]

Hi Carolyn we posted our messages here with in 10 mins of each other and had I not changed my gambling habits our situations could be so much the same.
I have been lucky that my wife was prepared to give me one more shot at getting clean from gambling (as I said one of the lucky ones).
The fantasy life of a Compulsive Gambler in action- always makes us believe we can get out of any situation or repair any damage we have done to ourselves and others just by having a winning streak or by changing poor choices in our past.
I don’t have a magic lamp and of your three wishes it sounds like they need a man with one to help out. However what I can do is give you hope that life Gambling free will (in my experience) open new doors for you and the opportunity to deal with the present rather than looking back at your past and the "what might have been scenarios"
Please keep the faith that with a willingness in you to change from your gambling past life will change for the better and good things will happen.
Stay lucky,
 Stay lucky/be lucky

[jayson]

Hi Carolyn, and welcome to GT…
The “IF” word is often used by a CG when we 1st start recovery, gawd knows i used it many ***** myself, IF only i did this, IF only i did that ect ect….Replace the IF word with NOW…..NOW you have come here you want to seek help for this addiction, and change your life, the past sadly has gone and no1 can change this, but the future is yours to make.
TC speak soon
JayJay x
To think is a thought, To do is an action.

[jen3]

Hi Carolyn, welcome. I was on the gambling roller coaster for over twenty years, I know the feeling way to well. Finally, i’m sick and tired of being sick and tired. I believe that if you fix you first and not for your x but for you, good things will follow. Stay strong, keeping your eye on who who want to be not who you were. Keep comming here. It will get you to a better place.

[Dunc]

 
Hi Carolyn, A Warm Welcome to Gambling Therapy
Having found us you have also found a diverse community who can help and support you on your recovery journey.
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and non-judgemental environment and by reading others stories am sure you will see that you are very much not alone in this addiction
Please click here to see our services page, feel free to use all that this site can offer…
To chat with others in real time you may wish to make use of the support groups, the ***** of these groups are advertised under "What’s on and When" or click here to see the weekly group schedule.
For one to one chat you may want to try the live advice helpline. Click "connect" when these options become available.
Also to say when you registered we would have sent you an email with an attachment, this attachment will help you navigate the site and find the support you so rightly deserve, alternatively this guide can be downloaded by clicking here.  
Take Care
HarryWatch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

[paul315]

Originally posted by Carolyn
… If I had three wishes …
 

Good morning Carolyn, my name is Larry and I am a compulsive gambler, my last bet was August 13, 2009. Welcome to GT, a place where you will find that you are not alone when it comes to the problems and consequences of you gambling, and are also not alone in working on recovering form this baffling and insidious addiction of compulsive gambling.
Your topic title and parts of your sharing looks as though they could come from a Dear Abby column, and I am pretty sure that the advice in that reply would be for you to move on with your life also. Your ex-husband has found something that he may have been searching for anyhow, and you have found that his and your love was not as strong as your addiction.  Here and in most recovery rooms we have another term, one we use for our addiction but can apply to all aspects of our lives as well; "Let go and let God"; moving on takes more strength than we can find in just ourselves, or in the advice from others.
As for the wishes, the key part of the statement is "if", "if only" is something that many, including myself, hold onto for many reasons; the ifs, wishing, and just hoping for something to happen, or not to have happened, is a good way to express regrets, but is also something that only holds us back in living life, and is definitely not something to use in recovery.  In recovery such wishing keeps us form the actual doing; in recovery we have to "do", we have to take actions to make changes and work on the ways and means to make the changes work for us — Recovery works if we work it, it don’t if we wont.
However, part of your last wish can be realized, you can live a more happy ever-after-life by living it gambling free, a CG can not gamble for anything; gambling for us only destroys us more and separates us from even more things and people. In working of recovery and changing the character flaws that the addiction feeds on, we can once again be happy and be the person that we were meant to be, we do not have to just wish for this.
Keep coming back here and using all of the services that GT offers, learn from the mistakes of others, and yourself, and just as important, from the success that many experience for a greater part of their recovering process; recovery is a process to guide us in living a more normal way, it is not a plan for achieving perfection. Set up barriers to help you overcome the urges or temptations that will ***** during this journey, barriers that will give you time to think rationally before gambling again, and ones that will provide you with quality gambling free time that will allow for any of the needed changes to take place.
God’s speed, use your Higher Power to guide and strengthen you.LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT,  "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.

[cat438]

Hi Carolyn,  we can’t change the past, however, with the support and guidance you receive here you will not feel that you are alone – we all understand the challenges that compulsive gamblers face… I would say to you to continue to come here – go on the chat rooms and most importantly… Take it one day at a timeOne day at a time my sweet lord…

[blueelvis888]

Hi Carolyn, It breaks my heart thinking about your 3 wishes. And what gambling has done to you. We all have stories to tell , most of them heart breaking. I have completely destroyed 25 years of my life with my Gambling Addiction. Ruined relationships, unsurmountable debts, family rows, loss of long term friendships, basically a complete waste of time.I have so many regrets through gambling I have lost ***** , but what can I do.I cannot change the past. We all have to stop sometime before it consumes all of our lives and sanity. And we are left with no future. I think you have reached a point in you life now , when you have to say enough is enough and call it quits . I myself have only stopped gambling for only 10 days,so have a long way to go still. But whenever I have the urge to gamble , I come on this website ,read some posts and maybe try to give some advice, instead of gambling. We are all in the same boat here. So good luck with your recovery and Wish you all the best and I am sure you will be happy one day.– 06/01/2012 16:16:04: post edited by blueelvis888.

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