[stressedup]

Hello everybody, i am a 24 year old male . I have been gambling since i was 18 and have never won much. I would say i have lose around 40k USD in this tenure.
nI have a wife who is pregnant for 6 months with our baby girl. and she dosent know as i hide it quite well. I have lost another 2k USD yesterday and have hit rock bottom.
nI draw a pay of about 2.5k USD a month but i have about 10k USD of debt that i had inccur through credit card and borrowing from friends/
nI have previously quit for 6 months but relapsed. I am so dissapointed in myself. I have been following this forum for 2 years after every loss and always wanted to join
nI have finally decided to join and try it out. Today is my day 1. I wouldnt want to go back ever again. I hope by coming here and remember how bad is gambling is would make me avoid it.
nI would be constantly posting my updates and hope i can get over it. I hope i can faster clear my debt and go back to normal. Thank you to all who have been reading my post.

[Steev]

You managed not to gamble for 6 months which was no mean feat. Is it possible to learn from what you did then and put it into practice again.
nI am sure if you have read around the site – you know the 4 ways of stopping are 1) to ban or exclude yourself from places where you gamble 2) to lose access to money – get someone else (your wife?) to handle your finances. 3) to get great support for yourself – by attending (virtually these days) self-help groups (https://gamblersinrecovery.com) or through counselling. 4) By finding other passions which will fill up your time so you will not be bored, just be careful not to substitute another problem behaviour for gambling.
nI know people have problems with 2) because it means coming clean with loved ones – but it IS always better that the news of your gambling comes from you – than the partner finds out. It is not something to rush into though and you may wish to get advice from experienced GA members for example. I wish you well.

[stressedup]

thank you for your advice and well wishes. it is very appreciated.

[stressedup]

woke up, had an urge as i looked at NBA and saw the score. Fought the urge. Went to bathe straight and fought the urge. hope i can continue to do the same

[Rosey Posey]

It’s great that you resisted this time.? Make sure you have safeguards in place for other times.? I made a very long list of other things I can do besides gambling and kept it nearby.

Keep at it.? Every day is a big step in the right direction.

[Tyrant]

Reading your story really hit me hard, I have been struggling with my online poker addiction for years. Everything you said, I relate to.. It’s like i’m chasing this big dream to win money to make everyone proud and help everyone out.. but really i’m only hurting myself and everyone i love.. I want to stop playing poker.. but it’s literally my passion and dream to be a professional poker player.. so it’s hard to just give up on a dream. But i have been through similar situations as yours, but smaller amounts.. i started with like 100$ on roulette, got up to 3000$, but ended up betting around 500$ at a time and lost it all.. It still haunts me that I could have made 3k in an hour and did a lot for myself with it..
n
nI excluded myself from all my favorite sites for 6 months and i did really well until a friend at work started talking about poker again and i realized my self exclusion was up.. so i started playing again and won like 3k off of about 100.. and now i think i’m actually negative what i started with.. so i lost over 3k again basically.. just so frustrating.. and the worst part is knowing that i probably never would have cashed out…. if i turned 3k into 6k, i probably just would have lost it.. although, i did actually pull some out this time, when i won.. but i lost the rest and ended up putting what i won back on plus some.. i hate myself. i need something to keep my mind and hands busy.. i want something that i can enjoy doing in my free time and make some money with! then i feel i would truly be happy..
n
nwhile i had quit playing poker, i was trying to pull out and set aside money for things that i want (tattoos, clothes, bike parts, etc) because i knew if i didn’t, saw that money in my account , then i would just bet it because it was *free spending money* when really it wasnt.. so.. now i think im going to try and ban myself again.. and focus on something positive and save/make money..
n
nI would love to follow and help with your progress as well, since your story really resonates with me.
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nI hope the best for you man, I can tell you have a good heart, you can beat this. SAVE your money. set aside a certain amount every pay for things like dates with your girl, money for car, etc,.. it doesn’t seem like it, but in the long run, stuff like that will be more impressive..

[Tyrant]

Also – I have 2 young boys.. I feel bad that my playing online takes away from time with them.. but in my head, im winning money for our future. when really i would just be saving money by not playing, and giving them a better life, by just being with them.
n
nIt’s always easier said than done, and the night is the hardest. Boredom kicks in and I just want to play poker. It makes me feel so relaxed to just chill with my computer and play some cards and try to win that big prize.. but it always comes with regret. I wish i could remember that regret more.
n

[Enough808]

First of all congrats on joining the site and taking the steps of posting your story. You should be proud of yourself for having gone a few days of not gambling. I know the feeling of waking up to check odds or check results from overnight plays. You don’t really get a good nights sleep when you’re doing that because you’re so worried about the outcome. I hope you focus on your wife and taking care of her and your soon to be baby. I look forward to reading about your progress bud.

[Author]

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