[Monicajean]

Started online slots in October 2017 – have won a little – lost thousands. Lie constantly to my husband about secret CCards I have (that are maxed out). ‘Borrow’ from my adult children. This is what I dove into when my last child left home and I haven’t been able to stop. So scared my husband will find out – he can be abusive. Will probably tell him I have a problem so he can help monitor me but not about the debts. I do have secret income that he doesn’t know about so I can kill the debt and repay my kids. I’m so ashamed and angry. Yesterday I won over 10,000. It was just sitting there. All I had to do was leave it alone and I’d have paid off all my debts and my kids in less than a month. But I couldn’t leave it alone. I cancelled the withdrawals and lost it all. That was the last straw. I just texted all my kids and told them about my problem and promised to get help and promised to pay them back. I pray they don’t tell their Dad. They know he can be violent so pretty sure they won’t. Funny what gambling does. I started it as a hobby because I was sad and lonely and missed my kids and missed being needed. Now I’ve made matters a thousand times worse. Yesterday when I lost all that money I thought about how much life insurance I had. But that didn’t last and I’m not going to run away from this. I am scared of my husband, though so I’d appreciate your prayers.

[Monica1]

Welcome to the forum and for making the first step in stopping gambling. You must get some counselling support preferably face to face. Have you a GA locally? There are always underlying reasons why we gamble, and empty nest syndrome can be one particularly if you are left at home with an abusive husband. Having been through domestic abuse many years ago, this can crush a woman’s spirit over time and you must start the process of recovery and look at your relationship and if necessary, make plans to leave. No one deserves to be abused, ever.
Firstly, put the loss behind you, the money isnt coming back. Reach out for help and support. Could your children manage your money for a while? Would they help you to leave?

[Author]

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