[velvet]

We must not condemn those who seek full recovery of their money.
 
My husband is self-employed and far too often he has been dumped on by someone not paying and it hurts very much. I want the person who has hurt us to pay – I want it in full and if it is possible I would want it with interest for the turmoil and misery that always came with the non-payment. Many people who do not pay, know when they enter a contract that repayment of debt or payment for service is not high on their list of priorities, it is only what is important to them at that time that matters and hard luck those who enable them or work for them.
 
I do understand what is meant by realistic goals but companies have to demand what is rightfully owed, as they have a responsibility to protect their money. I think that just because we love a CG it is unrealistic to expect others to feel any different. This is new behaviour from F&F and it is not healthy – it would not have been the thought of F&F pre-addiction days. Complaining that people want money back that has been thrown away by the selfish addiction of CG is not what, I believe, we should be doing.
 
Through the irresponsibility of the addiction of the one we love, a debt to another has been incurred. There is often give and take with companies and banks and a CG in recovery gets advice and there are people willing to help.
 
It is, in my opinion, wrong that companies and banks allow debts to be run up willy-nilly but it is important to remember that F&F fell for the addiction – it would be naïve to think that a CG is not capable of fooling companies into lending them unrealistic amounts.
 
I am not judging anybody. I know we want to blame somebody for our loved one’s debts but the buck must stop with the addict and their addiction. The responsibility lies with the CG and F&F should appreciate that.
 
 
 
Blaming companies for lending the money does not help us – we would not like it if someone we did not know could not pay us for money we had lent them. Talk to these companies, write to MPs, write to the papers, talk to employers, and make a difference if you can but don’t waste energy in blame – it will get you nowhere.
 
 
Before I had knowledge of this addiction, I would not have had any sympathy for someone telling me that their loved one had run up a debt and they thought it was unjust or unrealistic for that loved one to pay it back in full and probably with interest.
 
 
 
I understand, only to well, the rant about debt but more than anything I want sympathy for those who live with and struggle with this addiction – I want people to empathise with those who have the addiction. I do not think that blaming those who enabled a CG is the right way forward.
 
 
Velvet

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