[Gamblecam34]

My name is Cam and I am addicted to slot machines, fobt in bookies and online slots.

I have been reading the forum on here and feel like doing a diary for everyone to see is the only thing that can help me.

I have always been addicted to fobt but over the last year it has got out of control to the point where I am now.

I have a good job and family but my only thoughts now are gambling and how I can get to the end of every month without anyone finding out about my financial situation.

At the end of the month I am due a 5000 bonus which was going to cover most of my tracks until over the last two weeks due to slots gambling I have taken out over 5000 in payday loans.

I can no longer live like this so today is my day one I have not gambled so far and hope I don’t but all it is is hope at the moment.
I just want ant to be happy again

[8675309]

Welcome and good luck. You’ve taken the first step, that’s the most important thing.

[charles]

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Hello Gamblecam34 and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you?re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you?re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We?re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you?re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

And on that note….

I?m going to hand you over to our community because I?m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you ??

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our
privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[Jrb]

Well I cant tell you that I have any right to suggest how to beat the problem as I have been struggling for around 30 years. I also just want to feel happy!! The thing is of course, once addicted even when winning I was never truly happy as I knew/know that even if I win I will then lose and it all just leads to nervous tension and much worse. If you are getting decent bonuses that is in my idea a positive as you can focus on work to mke money. I suggest making plans for that bonus now in a positive way—give it to you mum/dad to hold for some other reason if they dont know about the gamblng…i am sure u will get re advice frm those more regular than me.

[Gamblecam34]

Thanks for the comments and I’ve managed to get through 30 hours now without playing a slot online or a fobt which doesn’t sound much but I can’t remember the last time I done this. One day at a time and I’ll keep you updated

[Gamblecam34]

I managed to get through another day slot free I nearly caved yesterday as had nothing to do and came close but thankfully I just took the dog back out for another walk! I think she’s going to get fed up of this. No gambling since Friday! 2 days down thousands to go but need to start somewhere

[Gamblecam34]

I now haven’t played a slot or fobt since Friday afternoon which is great for me, but today I have felt anxious and like something bad is about to happen. It’s like I’m worried I’m not gambling. Tonight is first real test with champions league being on, all I need to do is get home without stopping at a bookies!! I’ll report in tomorrow and let you know

[monique]

Just wishing you strength as you aim to stick with your wise decision tonight. Feed your mind with the ideas that sustain you in your resolve. Remind yourself of all the loss and pain that gambling brings and let this help you stay free tonight.

It is not unusual to feel anxious, when you are making big changes in your life. Your mind and body are wondering what is going on. Change can be disturbing, even when you know it is ‘good change’. But you will find you can adapt to these changes with practice.

Stay strong.

Monique

[charles]

Hi Cam, well done on your gamble free days. I think we all know some of the times that we might be at risk, it’s important to use that knowledge.

I too hope that you stuck with your resolve and managed to pass those bookies on the way home. There is Champions league foootball tomorow though, that’s where you can apply that knowledge. The time to apply it isn’t when you try to get passed them though, it’s when you leave the house for work in the morning. Just have enough money on you for lunch, better yet take sandwiches. Leave credit cards etc at home. Another gambling free day ??

[Gamblecam34]

Today I will not gamble, unfortunately I cannot say that about yesterday but I feel so ashamed that I’m taking it as a positive sign.

It was the most stupid thing ever great again all day yesterday on way home I had to stop at the shop for bread and milk and as in many towns here bookies is right next door I had 4 pounds odd change from the shop and I thought what’s the harm and put this into the fobt fast forward another lost hour where I turned the 4 into 117 and as any cg I convinced myself I would gamble down to 100 then walk away and take this as my last time and I would walk out a winner in my head.

As you can guess 100 then became 80 then 60 and eventually nothing.

The only saving grace was I am not carrying bank cards at the moment so I only really lost 4 pound.

I have the old familiar sick feeling today and I realise I cannot go near a bookies. Ever!!

Thanks for your comments and I will report day 1 has been gamble free tomorrow

[charles]

Hi Cam, well doen on coming here and being honest.

It sounds like that is a shop you pop into quite often? Sounds like it would be a good bookies to get yourself banned from. Just take a passport photo and ask for a self exclusion form.

I’d recommend going with someone else and/or not having any money in your pocket – no temptations for a final fling then.

Keep posting.

[Author]

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