[Jag82]

Last month i relapsed again and gave in to gambling another 10k away from my life. Those were my bonus funds coming in from my paid salary and I am already in debt, yet i never learn my lesson. Does anyone have some help that they could offer me with. I don’t know why i keep falling prey to my own urges and giving in to mistakes that i nv learn from. I am at the point where i feel i could end everything and just shut the door and never come back out from life. Its depressing, there are not many rehabs here in Malaysia that i could go to. Hence i found this online site to share my pain and to get some guidance in this life.

[i-did-it]

Hi Jags,
It is the most horrible feeling when we gamble and lose – but if you read the threads here , many people stop gambling and go on to have really great lives.

For me I find that gambling is quite impulsive – I seem to gamble without thinking – so what helps me is having barriers .
Here are some of the things I use :
I no longer have a card for a bank or credit account to I cannot gamble on line
I no longer have access to my bank account – I have someone else manage it
I have a gambling blocker set on the house wifi
I have gambling blocker installed on my phone

While these can’t totally stop me from gambling , they do give me a bit of of thinking time to play the whole gambling scene in my head until the end – he end is me being in despair with no money .

I hope these suggestions help – you can stop gambling and there is lots of support on here

[Raynor98k]

Hi Jags,

I’m sorry that happened to you, I’d be lying if I told you that exact same scenario didn’t happen to me as well. It’s a shitty feeling, but it can also be a valuable lesson. You’re tired of being kicked around and dragged through the mud. I am too. This insane mental roller coaster of a habit is exactly what I just said, insane. I’m going to help you anyway I can.

First, and most importantly, I know how bad this whole experience has made you feel, but nothing should ever make you feel like you are not fit for this world. I don’t know you, but I will say that everyone is unique and has their own special talents. Even if you think you are not very talented, there could be something bigger. You could have the cure for cancer for all we know! So I will say that you are worth it, you are totally worth it, and no stupid bad habit should make you feel otherwise. If anything, just remember that.

Now, how to ditch this habit? Well, that’s the million dollar question isn’t it? ?? How do you break an addiction, or as I like to call it, a bad habit. First, we have to understand what has happened at a molecular level. We have to understand what is happening in the brain…

Connections between Neurons in our brains are formed through repetitiveness. However, the reward system in our brain determines if an activity is worthwhile based on the outcome. If the outcome exceeds the expectation, dopamine is released (the feel good chemical). This is our brain saying “Hey! Remember this, because this is important!”. You can see why gambling is so addictive from this statement. When we first start to gamble, we don’t expect to win because we know the odds (we still do), so when we actually do win something, dopamine is released because the outcome is greater than the expectation. The more you play, the more Neurons get connected and then bam, a new (bad) habit is formed.

One major flaw in the brain is that, although it can remember the good times during an activity, it has an extremely difficult time acknowledging all the negatives effects of the activity. Our brain sees gambling as an important part to our survival, when in reality it is the exact opposite. I believe this is a major flaw in the human brain, but maybe evolution will one day evolve to compensate for this flaw.

So what now? What do we do to overcome this habit? I believe the best way to break a bad habit is to replace it with a good healthy habit. Beating an addiction requires a lifestyle change. You can read more about it here:

https://www.addictionsandrecovery.org/recovery-skills.htm

For more information on how addiction works on a scientific level, I recommend watching this fantastic video lecture by a professor who also has a sugar addiction, so it’s easy to relate to him:

Actions to take right now:

– Exclude yourself from every casino/bookie around you. Take a day (if you haven’t already) and go to these establishments asking to be excluded. Go up security and ask them who can help you with this. You will do some paper work and then you cannot come back. Great feeling

– Put blockers in place to protect against online gambling. i-did-it mentioned that she uses betfilter (I do as well). It’s about 60$ a year, but it will block access to online gambling sites. It is worth it and I recommend you do it for all your devices (phone included).

– Forgive yourself and let yourself know that you are implementing change. This is very important because instead of just saying “I’m not going to gamble anymore”, you are actually doing something about it. Stay active in these forums for at least a couple months.

One more thing, be aware of your thoughts. Part of recovery is becoming more aware of your thought process. Know that urges will happen, and that’s ok because it is part of the recovery process. The more you do not give into urges, the more your brain will heal and it will get easier. The brain is remarkable at healing itself. Next time you get an urge, try saying this, “I recognize that I am having these feelings, but I also know that if I act on them, I will lose money. The outcome will always be the same. Even if I win, the system is designed to keep me engaged and take it all. These are false urges that will only end in sadness. I am better than that and I deserve happiness.” Every time you do this, the urges will get weaker.

One more resource I wanted to share. Our subconscious mind is always recording the world around us. A lot of people have very negative views about themselves that they don’t even know about. Changing the way your subconscious mind talks to you is HUGE. I would recommend listening to this recording before you fall asleep. Spend 10-20 minutes just sitting in your bed listening to these affirmations, and if you don’t want to do it anymore, you don’t have to. I will say that the first time I heard about this I thought it was garbage, but then I started trying it and I found myself internally repeating the words that were spoken. Give it a try ??

Closing thought:

Everyone here is fighting a very hard battle, but that doesn’t mean you have to do it alone. If you want results, you do have to take action. You do have to work at this, but I promise if you do, and you start to become aware of your thoughts, you will eliminate this bad habit. Remember, you are worth it.

–Nick

[Mark P]

I agree Nick

[velvet]

Hello Jag and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you ??

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

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