Tagged: gambling addiction
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Hello all,
Deep down I believe I am a good person. I care about others, I spend time with those I love, I work hard at my job, I have meaningful relationships with others, I look for ways to help others, I do a lot of good things in my life but all of these good things take a back seat…not just a backseat but an extended, extended, extended back seat to my gambling addiction. Am I an okay father when I gamble? Not really because my focus is in my wager ( I literally make sport bets 10 hrs a day- easily) and I spend every penny I have. All in with the crazy, unrealistic fantasy that I can WIN it all back. It never happens and it never will. So I don’t really pay attention to my family, I don’t give my all to others, I don’t go out of my way to set up opportunities for others to benefit from my good deed, I don’t plan for family vacations, I don’t have money to pay for my mortgage and other bills; all of these things are because this addiction. This addition has changed who I am. And I’m not okay with it. Gambling has been such a roller coaster ride for me, as it is with most folks. I looked back and my first post on here was in 2018. That’s 5 years of the back and forth, back and forth with my gambling, quitting, gambling, quitting. I do know there were about triple the amount of gambling days vs quit days. I really believe this is it. I know it will it not be easy. It will be the most challenging thing I do in my life. But those biggest struggles in life create the greatest rewards. The toughest of struggles create the greatest growth. I’m so ready to grow from this. Gambling has created a mental weakness in me that was never there prior. I am alive but I’m not living for anything but a wager on a sports game. It’s absolutely pathetic. But the great thing is I can make the change. Nobody else can do this except me. And if I want a different life, I have to make different choices.
Today I will not make a wager. I refuse to sell my soul and give my life to a sporting event. I want better for myself.
Thank you for reading and any support would be appreciated.
You get out of life what you put in. I’m changing where I pour my energy and time into today!
Have a blessed day!Craig
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Hello all,
Thank you all for the words of encouragement and support. Today was a very blessed day without placing any wager. I have found through my relapses that my true test comes when I get paid. It’s easy to not place a sports wager when I’m broke. But that voice will say “it’s only $120” I can afford it…that’s when the test really comes. My focus this round is to control what I can and embrace those moments because those will give me the strength to persevere throughout this journey.
A question I have for you all that have multiple relapses; do you often times regret or think about; if I would have stayed gamble free last year when I quit, I’d be so much better off. It’s hard for me to let that go. Is that true with you? And how do you get through those thoughts?
Thanks for reading and I will not gamble today! -
Thank you so much for your words, Kin. I truly appreciate it. While sometimes reality is tough, it is necessary for growth. I need to work on letting go of the past because I cannot and will not let that self destructive behavior continue to control my life. I have been quit nearly 3 day and these last three days have been better than any 3 consecutive days of gambling. I say consecutive because there were many days of gambling that were great. The big win! The days were all the bets are spot on and I’m a genius. Only to wake up the next day, thinking I cannot lose and sure enough everything from the day prior is wiped out. What a deflating feeling; and guess who gets that taken out on them? That’s right, my family. People that need me and count on me are only getting the “worst of me” due to my addiction. Those good days are so far and few between.
Wile these past 3 days have been very good, I have kept myself busy and tried to keep my mind on the moment. Soaking in every second and not allowing my brain to wonder off into that dark place. While I agree with most everything you said, Kin, I don’t think my gambling is triggered by money. I think my gambling is trigger by action. There were plenty of times I won 2,000 but couldn’t stop. It wasn’t about the money. It was about the action. It was about the thrill, the highs and the lows. Needless to say, it’s a rollercoaster ride I don’t want to be on any longer.
Today will be another busy day without placing that next wager. That’s my focus. Not the past, not the “what coulda been” but the moment, right not, not reopening that account and making a wager which will in turn change my life and who I really am. NOPE! Not TODAY! -
Hi CraigMac
I read your posts. I feel a similar way that it is very hard to let go for sure, but we must otherwise gambling will drag us further down.
We must recognise the triggers, try and deal with them in other ways. Try and find positive distractions to stop your thoughts leading to gambling.
The things I have found most useful so far are putting a gambling block on my phone, excluding myself from bookmaker shops and I have also blocked my bank card from gambling transactions. So if I have an urge there is a barrier to stop me.
Getting on the chat rooms here helps sort your mindset out too.
Good luck buddy. Tell yourself you can do this. -
Hello all,
Down but not out! That’s my moto for today. Obviously, I haven’t been here in a few days and it is because I went back to gambling. I decided to place a “$100” into my account and it turned into losing thousands. I cannot continue this erratically behavior. Thankfully, my wife caught wind of my gambling and called me out on it because my bank account kept going negative by hundreds of dollars. This has been happening for months now and I never have the money to pay the bills. I say thankfully because the truth came out. She thought I was not gambling and hadn’t gambled for 4 months. Whereas the truth is; I haven’t went more than 13 days without feeding the addiction. I will admit, throughout the repeated relapses, my wife has always stuck by myside and supported me. It really breaks my heart to know the undeserving hurt I have placed on her due to my addiction. Thats really not fair; nor is it was she signed up for when we made our vows to each other.
While I cannot change the past, I can make better choices for my future. As I’ve said a lot, gambling changes me entirely. It changes my outlook, it changes my motivation and it changes my financial situation (just to name a few)…and all those changes are not for the better. When I spoke with my wife I told her of the biggest struggle I have. I will stay gambling free to 3 day, maybe 4 days; then all of a sudden I will get this voice in my head telling me how I can control my wagers and how if I just bet the games I feel comfortable on; I can win and control my addiction. That voice is a complete lie. One moment of weakness can ruin everything. It’s not easy and I guess after 12 years of gambling its not going to be easy to change in just a few days. It will take work and dedication to staying free of the addiction. One thing I have done for myself to help me handle those moments of weakness is I have downloaded gamstop on my phone. It’s an app that blocks gambling websites. It will renew in 30 days; but for the next 30 days I cannot even log into my sportsbook account from my phone. I realistically have no way to gamble for the next 30 days. Does that mean I cant find a way? I’m not sure. I’m not focused on that right now. Instead I’m focused on picking up the pieces of my life that I have shattered.
I thank you for listening and I really pray this is my last “down but not out” moment due to my gambling addiction.
Get busy living! -
Hello all,
Here I am on day 2. Yesterday was a payday for me and it felt really good to just focus on paying my bills. A lot of my bills are piling up and they are way behind because of my addiction. But while paying the bills I took a moment and said to myself; as bad as it is now, most likely (unless some unforeseen incident occurs) this will be the worse I am off financially. It will not get any worse. If it does get worse, it will not be because of my OWN actions. While the finances are always a big reason for me to stop gambling, as I’ve said before, the biggest reason I want to stop; my why, is I want myself back. I’m not a person who is selfish but gambling created that person; I’m not a person who doesn’t value relationships but with gambling I’d much rather isolate myself and wager than create meaningful relationships with others. Needless to say, I’m a better person without this addiction in my life. I know that can be said for all of us. As we continue to take our journeys through battling this addiction lets make sure we always remember our why. Our reason for wanting to quit.
Have a great day all!Be blessed!
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Hello,
Here i am checking in on day 3. I have spent a lot of time this morning posting on others threads. Maybe I should keep to myself until I get a few months under my belt of being free from my addiction. However, I am familiar with addiction as I battled my dip (chewing) addiction of 16 years and have been clean for 8 years this coming August 3.
Reading others post has been very helpful to me. It’s very ironic how most of our stories are very similar. The addiction takes control of our lives in the same way. We struggle with the same things and we find success through the same methods (for the most part). It’s very interesting and yet healing at the same time.
Have a great day all! -
Day 4. Yesterday was a great day. It was a huge eye opener for me. I took my youngest daughter to the water park and we had a great time. I wasn’t checking my phone. I didn’t care about the outcome of a match. There were no highs, there were no lows. It was just a lot of fun with my entire focus on the moment. It was a very therapeutic time for me. I looked off into the distance and said to myself “this is living.” Checking scores, the thrill of the win, the agony of losing thousands, all that stuff isn’t living. Having moments with our loved ones, that’s what’s really matters. Yesterday was great for my soul and it never would have happened if I was still feeding my addiction.
I hope all of you have an awesome Father’s Day weekend.
Lets stay quit! -
Good day all! I missed yesterday unfortunately. I’m still free of gambling but with fathers Day and having to work (to repay my gambling debts), it was a long day an I didn’t get to post. I will ensure there are very few missed days of posting because in order to continue to journey of keeping gambling out of my life I need to post and hold myself accountable.
After work yesterday, I received a phone call and a childhood friend, who happened to be my neighbor growing up, passed away at age 40. So young! I will keep his family, as he has two young children, in my prayers. It was a very real reminder of just how precious life is.
I hope everyone has a great day and finds the strength to stay free of this addiction. Thank you all for the support thus far. Today we will choose a non-destructive path, a path of freedom and happiness!
One day at a time! -
Good morning all.
The last few days have been really hectic. I’ve been trying to stay as busy as possible to keep my mind off gambling, but also to help with continuing to live a different lifestyle. One that is more productive and meaningful. I’ve had to make a lot of phone calls, send a lot of emails to try to juggle my bills because they are extremely high due to my gambling. It hit me last night, after I was able to make some changes in bill payments to accommodate my income at the moment; it hit me, I just got one company to help me, now there is a pile of others that I need to change as well. Add all that in with having to repay a lot of people. Its just a lot and it really made me feel quite ashamed I allowed my life to get so bad off financially. I’ve been trying to look at the positive side of things so I did tell myself that after 15 years of abusing my money, I could be much worse off and to expect anything different than a struggle would be unrealistic on my end. Today will make 1 week of being free of gambling. I will take it one day at a time! Have a great day all!
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Beautiful day!
Yesterday marked one week since I placed a bet. It was nice but at the same time, I know tough times lie ahead. The next week is critical for me because I will get a little bit of extra money (from multiple jobs I’m working). Anytime I get extra change my mind tells me lies, lies of being able to control the addiction. Lies of “its only $120” you can afford that. Before I know it, that 120 is 1200 in the hole.
My plan for these upcoming paydays, one I have the gamban on my phone which eliminates the opportunity to deposit money using my phone. Two, I am going to hold myself accountable daily by posting here; and three reminding myself that gambling impacts my life in a negative way.
I hope all of you have a great day and I look forward to continuing on this journey with yall. -
Good day all. I hope you are all doing well today. The post is late today but I’m here and I havent gambled! It feels good to finally take care of my family without having that addiction causing so many problems in my life. There will be tough days ahead, no doubt, but today I am glad I have made a decision to not gamble. Have a great day!
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Good Saturday all!
I had quite a family scare/emergency on Thursday. Everything looks to be going good though now. Thankfully! Today will mark 11 days since I have placed a wager. It feels very good and I’m really happy where I am at. I know I have a lot of work ahead of me but at the same time, I’m doing my best to live in the moment. Enjoy each minute and accept the fact that I cannot change the past, the only thing I can control is the right now. By controlling my right now, I am setting up a better future. One day at a time. I would be lying if I said I didnt miss the action and the rush; but I know I can’t handle just one wager. It will be two then three then four and before you know it, I will be completely controlled by the addiction. Just like I have been controlled by it for the last 13/14 years of my life.
Anyway, here is to a great day and a productive day for everyone! Be well all! ?? -
Good morning
I hope everyone has a great start to to their week as we continue to navigate life without our gambling addiction. I am in the middle of switching my careers and this is my last week of teaching. I’m excited for the new opportunity but I have some a lot of nostalgia going on at the moment. A lot of good times, and as of recent a lot of rough times as well. I will definitely miss the relationships with the students but those relationships have far been replaced by the disrespect which is tolerated way more than it should be.
Anyway, I’m happy to be quit and I look forward to another day of beating this addiction. One day at a time!
Have a great day all! -
Good morning,
I really appreciate you stopping by Kin. I hope you are doing well and your kicking the crap out of this addiction.
I had a conversation with my wife the other night about my gambling. We talked, well mostly I talked and she listened, about how my mindset and my goals have drastically changed over the last two weeks. I want better for myself and I want better for my family. With gambling, all i would focus on is my next bet or my next deposit. There were no thoughts of saving up for a car or saving for a house, heck no. I just wanted $100 to put into my account and when I lost that (which I always did eventually) I wanted $200 and before you know it; my entire paycheck was gone without any bills being paid. Incredibly sad but true. Having said that, while it was sad, it feels like a new life with my new mindset and mind frame. My biggest regret is I did not stop gambling way earlier, however, I have tried to not be so hard on myself when it comes to that because yes I caused a lot of problems but maybe I wasn’t ready. I’m not sitting here saying I have it all figured out after 2 weeks because I surely don’t. This addiction can pop up at any moment. I have a long way to go. I have barriers in place to help me (mostly the gamban which has been incredible) and I have a daily commitment to myself; all of which can help me be successful but ultimately I have to make the daily decision to stay away from this terrible addiction.
After that rant, I guess what I’m trying to say is gambling changes us for the worse. We might not know it at the time or in the moment but when you step away, its easy to see how this addiction controls our every move. Yes some people can manage it with discipline but not me. That rush of winning or watching a game with a wager on the line is a feeling that I want all day, not just in situations where I have the advantage (like disciplined sports betters do). I’m not that person so I cannot place even one wager because I will give way to everything I have built over these last 2 weeks. I hope all of you have a great day!
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Thanks for stopping in Marcus. I am trying to stay as positive possible with this lifestyle change. I know it will not be easy, because just yesterday I had a few hours where i was really disappointed in myself. My family should be so much better off than we are and it’s a direct result of my gambling addiction. Instead of saving/building for a house, I blew all the money on sports betting; so everyone suffers because of my selfish addiction. Its a tough pill to swallow. This hasn’t been an issue for a few years, its been over 10 and a REAL BIG issue the last 7 years. Costing my family thousands. While the money is obviously an issue, the time that I can’t get back is another. Let me say it like this, my oldest daughter is almost 17 and going into her senior year. We have pretty much lived in an apartment or rented houses her entire life. I wanted to be able to have a house for our family by the time she went away to college. I wanted that for us; I would have had that for us if I wasn’t blowing my entire paycheck (EVERY WEEK) on gambling. Instead, she will leave our nest without ever living in a house that is ours because I’m so far behind on my finances, it will take the better part of a year to get back on track. That is a huge regret of mine and because of time; I can’t simply make it right because next year at this time she will be gone.
I’m a firm believer that tough times help build internal strength that allows for us to grow as people. I know I will be a better man for this and it will help me with my quit; but it impacted my daughter (and she doesn’t know of my addiction) in the process and that’s not fair to her!
Those type of thoughts are hard but our past does not have to impact our future or our RIGHT NOW! Tomorrow will be better because of the decisions I make today. That is not just true of me but true of us all as well. I really thank you all for reading my post and I hope happiness finds you all today.
Be well and most importantly be free of gambling!
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Hi Kin,
Thanks for the perfect post. You are completely accurate. In the past, my regrets and pain became an excuse and reason to gamble. In turn, more regrets would be made and more money would be wasted.
Slowly the savings will be restored and I will be able to provide my family with a better life. Thanks again for helping me keep the right mindset. One day at a time!
Have a great day! -
Hey good morning all!
I just bought a new computer recently due to leaving my old profession (they took it back) and I’m trying to download gamban on it but I’m having difficulty! Does anybody know of another gambling site blocker that would work on a Chromebook? Yesterday was really tough knowing I had a device that could easily access my account. I need to get this figured out as soon as possible. The temptation is strong but my will to quit was stronger yesterday! Heres to another day of success by beating the addiction! Have a great day everyone!
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Hey everyone! Thanks for the help Dark Energy! I will definitely try it. I am doing well with the gambling. I have not placed a wager in 22 days! I have been away from the forum due to a death in the family. I am really grateful during this difficult time I was able to give my all to my wife for support instead of being half a## with the support with more of my energy/focus on a game or match. I know for a fact my outlook during this difficult time would have been a lot different had I still been gambling. I am really thankful for that! I will try to post as much as possible in the next few days but they will be hectic. Have a great day.
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Good morning,
I just wanted to check in and post for today to hold myself accountable for my quit. I know the next couple weeks will be tough with college football season on the horizon (my favorite sport to bet and easily my most profitable) but I know in the end I will always lose; and when I mean always lose it’s not just the money that I will lose. Its my time and my sanity. In the end, it is really not worth it. It’s not worth it to spend hours upon hours upon hours on bets/games/research/etc. If I could treat it like a job and play for a few hrs and move forward that would be great but I’m way past that in my addiction. I can’t stop and my mind never leaves the opportunity to get action! Needless to say, I’m taking this one day at a time and I’m thankful to be free of gambling today! Have a great day all !
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Hey everyone! I hope you are all doing well today. I wanted to check in. Today marks 27 days of no gambling. I am excited to wake up tomorrow and tell my wife it has been 4 weeks without gambling of any sort. It’s a nice feeling. Even though our finances are in rough shape, I feel things are starting to come together in terms of money. I have a feeling things will work out; whereas before, I lived paycheck to paycheck without any worry in the world for financial freedom because I “will go on a hot streak and win thousands, and we can buy this and pay off this loan, etc” but it never happened. I instead, just kept putting more money into my account until my paychecks were gone!
Things are still very tough. My mind is still trying to convince me I can control my addiction, which I know I can’t. On the other hand, life does seem a lot simpler. There are daily stresses, as we all have them, but there are also moments of enjoyment that come from life instead of an outcome of a game.
I have tried to give all my money to my wife but it didn’t really work out because I am in charge of paying most of the bills and it became too much of a hassle. MY wife does have access to my money and she can see transactions which does help me a little but the truth is if there is a will to gamble, I will find a way to make that deposit no matter what! The key for me is Gamban. That has really helped! None-the-less, I hope all of you have an amazing day! -
30 days free today for me. To say it has been easy would be a lie. It’s been very tough. Heck even today has been a struggle because I know I could easily make a deposit into my old gambling sportsbook account ( i would have to reopen it, which they gladly would) but there is one major thing stopping me. It’s not about the money but that one thing stopping me is all the time, all the energy all the focus that gambling takes away from me. It completely changes who I am as a person. It changes my outlook, and it changes what I accomplish each day. Honestly, with gambling, I don’t accomplish much. Other than watching/betting on sports all day. I have people that are depending upon me and gambling takes away from that. That is why I have decided to not gamble today. I have passed a big test today. Today I will press forward despite that lie my brain is telling me- that lie of “you can control your gambling, just bet on games you are sure of.” I know that lie. As soon as I place one wager, I’m full tilt back into the madness. My therapist told me a while back; with addictions, when you start back up an addiction you never start at the beginning you instead start off right where you left off. That is so true and one of the main reasons I have made it this far without gambling because starting back up where I left off would be absolutely miserable! Not TodaY!!!
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Thanks for the post Kin. Mental and emotional relapse; absolutely correct. The mental relapse is real. All i can think about when my mind wanders into making a wager is how it has cost me so much of my life. No matter if I win a bet, I will feel cheated because it’s like I will sell my soul to gambling. Not today. Day 31. The struggle has been real. I was thinking the other day, the longest I have gone without gambling was around 60 days last summer. I vividly recall those days. Feeling tired all the time, my mind is all over the place, not really motivated to do anything. Stuck in a rut with little energy or focus on the task at hand. I would even say a little depression. I know this is the “fog” stage of my quit and trust me, I don’t want to go through this again. I feel like I’m wasting my days away without accomplishing much. I know I need to do better and eventually I will but these feelings are very similar to last summer. What that tells me is I haven’t grown in a year if I am battling the same issues this summer as I did last summer. Gambling kept my life stuck in place (actually going backwards if I want to be honest), I don’t want to keep being stuck in life. I want to advance and be better. The only way to do that is get through this phase without going backwards by placing a wager. This has been tough but I can do it, one day at a time! Thanks for all the support!
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“After you have stop gambling, you will continue to have problems, but you are facing all the problem that leads you to gamble!!!”
THAT IS AMAZING! Thanks for sharing those powerful words.
My family went on a 2 day quick spontaneous trip to the beach. It was a lot of fun and well worth it. Gambling was not on my mind and when it was, I said “naw, not gonna think of you instead of my family today.”
Lets go y’all! Keep fighting the good fight!
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Hi Kin,
Thank you very much for the support. The journey has not been easy (and its not easy for anyone) but I believe it is worth it. I keep telling myself there is more to life than the outcome of a sports game. How much that consumes me is ridiculous and it is something I no longer want in my life. I’ve been clean from gambling for 1 month and 3 days by taking it one day at a time! ??
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The last week or so has been pretty rough for me. Maybe because my quit rarely gets into the 30 day mark. Maybe because I have some extra time on my hands as of late, or maybe because my addictive mind is trying to convince me to place a wager. I know I don’t want to gamble and I definitely do not want the baggage that comes with gambling but to say I have been in a rut as of late would be an understatement.
As my mind wanders, quite often as of late, I’ve been thinking; I’ve been addicted to something for nearly all my life, and because of my addictions I’m not where I would like to be in my life. I spent from age 16 to age 32 being addicted to chewing tobacco. This addiction kept me from being my best self and pursuing my goals simply because I just wanted to isolate myself and dip for hours. I was a closet chewer. I didn’t let many people know of my addiction because I was embarrassed. So, I would avoid a lot of things just to dip. I didn’t prolong my educational career because that would take away isolation time. When I finally gave up dipping, I started to accomplish some of my life goals. However, not long after my dip addiction ended, I became fully engaged with my gambling addiction. When I chewed tobacco, I also gambled but it was on a much smaller scale. I would bet a game or two a day and call it a night. That lasted for about 7 years, and right around the same time I quit dipping, I went full fledged into gambling. Those two or three bets a day were now 8 to 10 hours a day. Completely out of control. I have lived the last 5 years with my sports gambling completely out of control and it has cost me so much. It has cost me money, it has cost me time, it has cost me relationships and it has cost me an opportunity of fulfilling my life goals. I understand I’m still alive and I still have an opportunity to capture my goals; however, I become very disappointed in myself because I expected to be further along in my life than I am at this point. It seems everything in my life has happened late due to my addictions. I had kids late (mid 30’s), I got married late (mid 30’s), I still rent, I still don’t have a solid career that I enjoy. It’s tough. I know things will get better but gosh, addictions have definitely impacted my life in a negative way.
I spent so much time over the last 5 years working multiple jobs just to support my gambling addiction. I would work nearly 75/80 hours a week (easily). Working all those hours caused me to miss many of my family functions, celebrations and events. It caused me to start living an unhealthy lifestyle. I stopped exercising, I put on a lot of weight over the course of these 5 years. The craziest part is even with working 3 jobs at once, I was still falling behind on my bills because of my excessive gambling. A few months before my last quit, I called my online sports book, who I used for a little over a year, and I asked them how much money I had lost to them since I opened an account with them and they told me 30,000. In just a little over a year, I gave them 30k. That might not seem like a lot to most folks but to me, that’s an enormous amount and that was just for ONE year!
I guess you could say its been a struggle for me recently. Making a sports wager will not help, it will only make it worse. I will continue to fight for my life because I know gambling takes everything away from me. It changes who I am.
Have a great day all!
ONE DAY AT A TIME -
Hi CraigMac
Like you I have struggled for many years with an addictive personality.
What I have lost is huge, but I am recognising a point where I don’t want to lose any more.
What is gone is gone. Now is the time to “fight back”. Not by gambling but by living a more fulfilling life.
To be able to look back one day and say what I went through changed me as a person for the better is something to fight for.
Best wishes. You are doing great. -
Hey all,
I hate to share this news but I must own up. I started back gambling last week. I went on a little over a 1 week binge where I just lost control of everything again. As I sit here and type this I wonder if quitting is even possible for me. I’m not feeling sorry for myself but I’ve had so many chances to make it stick and always seem to go back to this damn addiction. That last week of being free of gambling was really tough, I felt depressed often. In a fog to speak and when I put money into my sportsbook, I instantly felt alive. That really scares me. I went from grumpy every second to a positive mindset. That positive mindset only lasted a few days until I started to blow through cash and feel miserable all over again.
I really let my family and myself down with this one. Thanks for listening everyone and I hope you all have a beautiful day! -
Hi CraigMac
Forgive yourself the relapse. It is a hard road to recovery. It’s just another bump in the scheme of things.
You mentioned putting money in your sportsbook. Try and make it basically impossible for you to gamble any more.
From what you have said in your posts I believe you want to stop buddy. You can do it. Stay strong, stay committed. Best wishes. -
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Day 4. I am here to make my pledge to not gamble today. I have started a new career path today and I am very excited for this opportunity. I’m excited for the future but I fully understand my future will be of misery if I cannot make necessary changes to my gambling addiction. I feel down and I relapsed but that does not mean that a new quit journey cannot begin. Today is all that matters. Be well all! No gambling today! I don’t accomplish much when I choose to make wagers.
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Back to day 1. This time, I really made things a lot worse. Financially to my relationship with my wife; she’s really tired to the relapses. It’s been pretty steady the last 3 years. More bad days than good. I need to make some changes because what I’m doing has not been working. The gamban was working for my phone but I cant get it to work on my Chromebook; and all the other gambling blockers for my computer were very easily bypassed. I believe meetings will be necessary for me as well. Ugh I feel so terrible, I’m not even sure what to say. I have a 4 year old daughter who things the world of me but doesn’t know I keep letting her down; but one day, if I don’t change, she will be fully aware. That thought hurts. I haven’t given her the best life possible these last 4 years. Mostly because I’ve had to work so much just to keep my addiction going.
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I am here to post my pledge to not gamble today. My sports gambling is a very difficult addiction but I did notice (during my last binge) that I really didn’t enjoy it. I already knew the outcome. I would win a few matches, then end up losing all my money plus more. I lack everything necessary to win; which should be evident by all my financial troubles over the last 8 years.
I have noticed a trend during my quits. The first week, I’m focused, happy and excited to live life on my terms. By day 30 I’m depressed, searching for some enjoyment in life. Those days are rough. Has anyone else noticed that? If so, what are some options to counter act those tough days (that seem to run together during that day 30-40 stretch)
Have a great day all! -
Hi CraigMac
I know what you mean when you start getting urges for some betting action.
We can be “sober” for a while. Like you said, maybe a month or so but then we get bored. We seek the dopamine rush, the thrill of the chase, chancing a big bet, or playing at big odds. Maybe and foolishly it’s chasing a feeling of being alive.
What I have found has helped is that as soon as I get the urges I have to find something else to do. Not to sit there letting my mind have conflicting thoughts. Even going to have a cold shower!!
The urges will always come and go I guess. I try and avoid reading about sport like I used to as it draws me into thinking about gambling. I will still watch some sport but I tune in at the last minute before the game now.
There probably isn”t anything else quite like gambling for the roller coaster of emotions it can produce. The emotions that strangely make us addicts.
So ultimately it is very tough to stop. We have to override the thoughts of gambling, keep doing other more positive things with our time.
Focus on the things that really matter and help us to REALLY feel alive. Our family and friends, being out in the fresh air, swimming in the sea or in a lake. Simple things that cost nothing.
Gambling is not something that makes is feel alive, infact it is quite the opposite.
You got to really want to quit, 100%. If half of one per cent of you doesn’t want to quit, or is just thinking “maybe” then it’s no good.
Sorry if that had laid things on a bit thick my friend but that way of thinking has helped me so far.
Stay strong, one day at a time. -
Thank you for the response Maximus. I appreciate it and you are right on so many fronts. Mostly the face of being alive has nothing to do with gambling. As it takes life from us. I’m not sure about you but once I place that bet, I’m an addict and all my goals, desires get thrown to the waste side.
Needs less to say, I’ve been back and forth on my gambling. Today is my day 1. I have a lot of reasons to stay quit today, I will remember those reasons.
Have a great day all! -
Hi Craig,
“……The first week, I’m focused, happy and excited to live life on my terms. By day 30………”
So, what can you do between day 1 and day 30? How have you been filling your time? Importantly, what barriers can you put in place now , on day 1, when you don’t want to gamble so that you are less able to act on the urges if/when they return in a month or so?
Keep posting and let us know what positive thigns you are putting in place.
Keep posting and let us know what positive thigns you are putting in place.
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Hello all. Thank you for your post Charles. I will gladly take suggestions to some barriers I can put into place to help me with my urges when times get tough.
As you can most likely guess, I have spent the last several months gambling. This addiction is really scary and, while I haven’t lost hope, I’m really scared because I have suffered so many relapses over the years. My rock bottom seems to be bottomless. When people ask what I’ll do differently, I’m actually not sure but I know I need to do something different if I want a different result.
Anyway, I’m back. I hope all of you are doing well. I 1000% don’t want gambling in my life. It’s those small moments of weakness that I need to overcome.
Have a great day, all. -
Hi CraigMac,
I’m sure you will have read the barriers that have helped others on some of the other threads here?
Here are some suggestions though – you deposited money on your Sports Book – how about closing it and, importantly, asking them to ban you? There are also blockers you can download to stop you signing up omn opther gambling sites.
Accountability – who can help you with this so that you can’t gambel secretly or instantly act on an urge? When I first stopped I had all bank statements etc sent to mu mum’s address and on payday my money transferred to her account. It was still my money of course, it just meant that I couldn’t gambel it.
Report your credit/debit cards lost or damaged. You will get new ones. Get someone else to open the envlope when they arrive and scratch off the 3 digit code. You then can’t register them on any online sites.
Keep posting and let us know what positive steps yopu are taking now, while you don’t want to gamble and before the urges return.
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hi Craig,
Charles gives you really good advice, barriers are really helpful.
you can’t depend on your willpower alone to stop this addiction, It may help 99% of the time but this 1% when our willpower lets us down will put us back to square zero.
in many addiction recovery books, they use the myth of Udysios and the siren as an analogy for how to defeat addiction, he knows that he can’t resist the sirens so he ties himself and asks his sailors to put wax on their ears. and by doing that his ship passed safely from the sirens area.
For us, it is all about
1. Access to money.
2. Access to gambling sites or casinos.
3. Free time ( where the gambling thoughts will start).find a way to keep the extra money protected for you and away from you.
to find a way to ban yourself and block gambling sites.
and to keep yourself busy by doing anything even if it is not that productive.wish you all the best.
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Thank you all for the advice. I thought of starting a new thread because all my relapses over the last couple months but I wanted to actually see all the failures. The old saying goes, it’s not how many times we fall but how many times we get back up…well I am here after falling yet again.
I have closed my sportsbook so many times but the always open it back up for me because who wouldn’t? I lose thousands of a dollars a year to them. I will reach out to see if they will ban me.
I will also look into the blockers. The blockers work great on my phone, but didn’t work so well on my Chromebook.
I do know I need to put barriers up, I do know I need to hold myself accountable. Most importantly I do know I want my life back.
Day 1. I’m ready for the fight, the fight for my life back! -
Good morning. Day 2 begins. I called my sportsbook and asked for a permanent ban and they said that wasn’t an option. Of course it’s not, I’m a moneymaker for them and I’ve never been able to control my gambling; so it makes sense they want me to be able to open the book anytime.
I am focusing on what I can control today. No gambling. All focus. I did have a “that’s right” moment when reading the post that stated we can be strong 99% of the time but that 1%, that 1 time of weakness can ruin it all for us.
I am going to definitely download the gamban again on my phone. It helps. I just need something for my Chromebook.
Anyway, I have a busy day. Be great y’all. -
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Day 4. I’ve been really busy with my new career. I can only blame myself for the way things in my life have gone. I’m responsible. If I want to change, I have to think differently and make better choices. I have started counseling which has been great thus far. I have a session today and I’m looking forward to it.
One of my biggest motivations to stay away from gambling is I change who I am. Nothing else matters. Only my addiction.
To better myself, I have to hold myself accountable.
I hope all of you are well. -
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As most of you can imagine, I have been gambling. My gambling is out-of-control, and it is impacting my life negatively in so many ways. It’s impacting my marriage it’s impacting my job, and it’s impacting how I even take care of myself. Some of the most simplest Daily habits of life are often times rejected because I want to follow a match. I wanna place a bet or I want to win some money. Gambling has really gotten to a point where it is no longer fun, well, it really was never fun to begin with as it was an addiction . I’m really here just a Post that I want my life back. It’s been so many years, so many wasted hours, so many wasted moments just logging into my phone to check a score. I’m not sure how I got to this point, and it’s a tough pill to swallow, but I know I don’t want to live my life this way. I have so much to live for. I have so much to be thankful for. My mindset completely changes when I’m not with gambling. I’m thinking of how to self improve. I’m thinking of goals. I’m thinking of earning money. I’m thinking of happiness thinking of family , all those things run through my mind when I’m not with gambling but when I gamble the only thing on my mind, is that next bet.
Today will be my first day without gambling in months.
Let’s keep fighting the good fight! -
Hi Craigmac.
So you want your life back? Great. Now what are you prepared to do to get it? How about accountability and your wife holding the money in an account you don’t have access to? A couple of posts back I rad your “account ius currentlky closed”? How about asking them to exclude you? Then it can’t be re-opened. How about a blocker for your devices that your wife sets any passwords for? If u you can get around blockers then get a “brick” for a phonew with limited internetr access.
You can stop gambling, but words, promises, even intentions don’t usually work. Keep posting and let us know what positive actions you are taking. Because the actions that will help you stop gambling are the same actions that can help rebuild trust etc with your family.
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Good day all! Thanks for your post, Charles. A lot of good suggestions to help make it stick this time.
I have asked the sports book I use to permanently ban my account but they will not do so. I spend too much money for them to look out for me. They have told me they will close it but will open it if I ask.
As far as the blockers. I have gamban downloaded on my phone. That has been helpful in the past.
I am here today to make the pledge to not gamble. The more you put into something the more you will get out of it. I believe that. So as I was reading yesterday, I came across something I really want my wife to do. Write me a letter to tell me how my gambling has hurt her. I think this is great for me, to actually read the pain I’ve caused her. The complete truth. I also feel it will be great for her to express herself with no interruptions.
I hope you have a great day! -
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I’ve blocked myself over the time nearly at 300 online casinos (??????)
cause I tried to fight them on this way. But nearly every day there opens a new online casino and i will never win the fight on this path.
I spent days just looking lists of new casinos, registering me there and instanly Block me. But thats the wrong approach to this problem.I really think the most important thing is, to set limits in daily life. Not beeing a good listener to evryone who wants me to listen.
When youre a emphatic person, you feel when somebody needs help, and you maybe claim yourself to help others, cause thats the way you would like to have it when you need help.
I’m such a Person. I always looked out for others and their needs, listened over hours to their problems. And after that Sarah (me) needed the online slot to “clear” my full head from all that.
In the last few days i realised that i need to set limits in my life. (I never did, also in casino never)
i need to know my energylevel every moment, i need to recognice every new day how i feel that day and what i could give or not.Its not a great problem to say “no” to others, when you say it the right way. Its ok. First you need to help yourself, in other way you become a problem for your loved ones- like when your addiction is so bad that family gets co-addicted.
We are in similar situations, but i really think there is a way out of there ?? -
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