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Ive had a terrible few days. Been back gambling compulsively. I keep thinking if I can just get one big win i will stop. I hate that i have become this person thats willing to risk it all. And i know eventually i will lose it all if i keep continuing on this trend. I need someone who i can talk to. If there is anyone out there willing to be a support buddy let me know perhaps we can get thru this..
I have noticed that whenever I get really anxious
I want to gamble. Like now the craving is sooooo bad. I just want to blank out. And im mkaing the usual excuses and reasoning in my head just to get that fix. Dear God please release me from this demon!The worst day ever for a gambler is pay day or when you know money is coming in. Ive lost ***** how many paydays ive gambled a quarter of my salary away and have had run around to make other plans to pay my bills. But because ive always payed my bills made sure there is food on the table ive never really thought i have a big problem. But I do. Im taking away from the quality of my life and I dont want to be that person anymore. Today I had my boyfriend drop me off at work. If i have no car I cant go anywhere. My recovery is my obsession now and I have to be completly truthfull to myself. Im trying. Heres to day 3
Hi Charles, thanks for the great tip. Ive managed to stay away today but I know there will come a time when the craving will be too strong. Im def going to make use of that tip!
Today is going to be a real challenge for me. Im back at work today. I usually go gambling during my lunch break. And then stay well after my allotated time. Ive triee booking ny time during lunch. Im trying very hard. I know its all in the mind and I have the power to say no to anything. I just pray God gives me the strength to defeat this Goliath.
Its going good so far. Not been feeling like gambling but that is what normally happens after a big loss. I feel put off gambling until a few days later the urge comes again. But I know the triggers and I have to be aware at all times. The goal is to go 21 days without gambling. If I can do that I know I can change my behaviour.