[amyyy]

Hi ican….the shower sounds so gorgeous! I adore pink. Sounds like alot of work- but a labour of love lol. And besides its fun and keeps you busy and creative and your mind off gambling so it must be a good thing.
Great to hear you doing well and are in good spirits- look forward to reading an update x

[amyyy]

Sounds stressful Lorraine- but you have had more stressful stuff than this that you have managed to cope with- you are strong and resiliant and im sure you will adapt to the new lifestyle without too many problems.
Maybe it is a blessing in disguise? The two years that you are required to stay in recovery by law may prove to be the best lifestyle you have had in yrs and maybe turn out to be just the thing to make recovery stick long term.
Hope to see you around chat again soon Lorr- Take care and stay strong x

[amyyy]

Recovery suits you lisbeth and in ur posts there is no despair or anguish or confusion. You are not tormented because of gambling anymore.
When i read your posts i read Freedom.
I dont know you personally ofcourse- but by what you have written here it seems you are enjoying life’s simple beautiful gifts- and dealing with all the ‘stuff’ as best you can- but u sound un-burdened. (if this makes sense?)
Your posts are inspirational to read- about how your recovery does become about your life- and everything positive and wonderful in it- and embracing those things- sometimes we cant see that evolution will take place when we are at the start of the process and still in the midst of the emotional storm- and the gambling has its claw in us. We cannot see beyond the struggle. But your posts show the light at the end of the tunnel- and how carefree and happy our focus can be after the storm settles.
Really inspiring to read- and hope you continue forward with a life free of gambling.

[amyyy]

Hi jen- see ya havent posted in a while n just thought id bump up ur thread- and remind ya that we care about u here and i hope ur doin really well n have just been too busy to post. But if u have slipped back into old habbits – reach out for support – cos u know theres heaps of people here for ya. Either way let us know how u been doin k x

[amyyy]

Hi Lorr-  How u doin? Hope recovery is starting to feel like a happy place to be.
Bit confused as to what you said about "it means for the next two years i will have to become a very clever **** so i dont get caught"
Does this mean u are planning on gambling despite your bankruptcy and the imposed budget etc? Hope not- hope i misunderstood what you meant by the comment?
Wish u luck with recovery and the challenges you face in staying accountable for your spending and attending ga etc.
You can do it Lorr! And if ya make it fun- you can enjoy it too x

[amyyy]

Hi stupidme- sorry to hear of ur recent gambling. Hope ur back into recovery and the gambling didnt hurt u too much.
Spose all we can do is keep going forward and learn best we can from the slip-ups.
Stay strong- u can do this x

[amyyy]

I get what ur saying Ican. ‘Working recovery so i will not gamble’- Sounds like a great plan to me.
Thinking about never gambling again can be daunting and to say to yourself "i can never gamble again"- its scary. And actually if i can share with ya – it doesnt help my psyche personally. Yeah logically i can reason that gambling will most likely result in what it ussually does- me spending too much money and disregarding limits of time etc and also will probably then lead me to want to gamble more to chase the losses and to keep the "buzz" going. (stay in the game) – This i can see easily and can accept that when i look back that is the pattern.
But my mind doesnt like to be told i cannot do something. Simply the way it is. So i have had to be creative and walk a thin line- I keep myself aware that yeah at anytime i can gamble- and remind myself of what will realistically result from it- and do i really want that outcome- or am i just entertaining a fantasy- and looking for the escape i used to get from gambling?
Funny thing is after we start recovery we cant seem to get the same escape from gambling anymore anyways- because we are aware of it and it simply doesnt work anymore. Just compounds the guilt more. (my experience from when i realised gambling was much more than just a little problem and everytime i had tried to stop or gamble responsibly etc- i found wen i did gamble it wasnt enjoyable and i had much more heightened sense of anxiety and even guilt- cos i knew it was damaging to what i was tryin to achieve?) if that makes sense.
Basically the main thing that works for me is that i want to see how great my life can become without gambling- i want to live it and experience it for myself- i want to face the challenges and the obstacles that i avoid when i gamble- and i want to grow and change and have my views and lifestyle evolve. I want to learn to live healthier and be the best ‘me’ that i can be. I want to discover the untapped potential – maybe? Basically get inspired to live the best life you can for yourself. Each day is another oppurtunity to develop a skill or learn something new- connect with another person- work on a goal – make a plan- fullfill a dream. Each day is another gift.
Make recovery fun! Make it a happy and exciting and rewarding place to be- make it how u want it to be- Be gentle with you and be proud to keep re-affirming your decision to stop gambling. Make yourself happy while u are not gambling is probably the most important thing u can do. Abstaining from gambling cannot feel like a puishment- or else it will not stick as a long term lifestyle change- who wants to feel deprived all the time?
wow sorry for the ramblings- just a few thoughts for ya cos you said u were struggling and needed support chicky- so hope ya feel better and can turn around ur thoughts a little and start enjoying your recovering. Its a process of blossoming- the blossoming is the process x

[amyyy]

Hey Sista! How u doin chicky? Read up a little on ur thread cos i havent been on in a while- and way to go!
Congratulations on the new job! So proud of ya- and im sure ur relieved and excited and much more settled and feeling heaps positive about the future now.
Wow! Almost 2mnths chicky- now that is amazing and fighting off them urges to gamble- ur doing so well!
And even catching up with the cute guy hey? lol- sounds interesting x
Heres to many more gamble free days- and enjoying life without the burden of gambling! Cheers x

[amyyy]

How absolutely wonderful and inspiring!
So good to read of ur success and your dedication to your new way of life- a life free of the restraints of gambling- and the whole destructive cycle.
Real Freedom! Truely is something to celebrate and feel good about.
Im really glad u posted – its a great example and gives me hope. Reminds me that there is a lifetime after gambling. That the months will eventually turn into years and that my life will continue to gradually improve- so long as i stick to the plan.
Great to see you doing so well! Congratulations and hope u feel verry proud and happy x

[amyyy]

Hi Vera- i havent been around here in a little while- and just catching up on some threads. Sorry to see u have gambled again.
You said that u planned to ban yourself from there- how did that go?
Hopeing you are doing well and are moving forward in recovery and look forward to seeing u in group sometime soon x

[amyyy]

Was nice to meet you in chat yesterday Terrilou and just dropping by to wish u well in recovery x

[amyyy]

Sorry to hear about your health stuggles Bettie. Nothing worse than feeling like it is an uphill battle with your own body. Medication that puts weight on is really defeating. I had to use some medication for a short period of time and found that it put weight on me regardless of what i was eating and i hated it. But there may be other alternative medications or ways of dealing with it- wish you well with your health and hope u find some balance with it.

[amyyy]

Good on you bettie for not gambling. Even though we chalk up so much time not gambling it can take just one slip to bring those nasty urges back. But u know with time they will fade away again. Keep strong- uv done it before- u know u can do it again. Everyones cheerin for ya x

[amyyy]

Sorry to hear that bettie- its really sad news. Send well wishes to ur daughter and try to look after urself also. Plenty of rest n relaxing and de-stressing. Hope ur doin ok

[amyyy]

A friend of mine lost her toddler in a freak accident- about a month later her sister received news that her baby had severe complications and that there was little to nothing they could do. That when he was born he would start to die and only live a few days at the most. So she carried him thru full term and gave birth to him knowing he would only be here for a few days. He was here for five days. He looked as perfect as could be- there was nothing wrong that u could see by looking at him. But all his organs were twisted and did not grow properly. His name was Jerome. Although he only lived a few days he had a huge impact upon everyone- when he did pass it was verry sad- the whole thing was heartbreaking. They were at home and he cried and his mum settled him- but he kept crying quitely- and slowly let go- and passed. But it was not a gentle nice thing and was pretty horrific. 
But his mum says that she could not have asked anything more of him- that he did everything she prayed for and was perfect in everyway. He stayed alive long enough to meet his grandfather and relatives and to be christened- which was what she had hoped and prayed for. She told me that she is grateful for having known he would die- as she could prepare and capture many hrs of footage and thousands of photos. She said she cherished the time she got to spend with him – that he was the most precious gift- if only for a short time. She really is a strong person and suprises me with her incredible spirit. Although i know she hurts everyday for him and will never truely get over it or move on- she tries to see whatever positives there could be.  He is now resting peacefully buried next to his cousin.
Life is so precious and its so hard when ur faced with losing it. I hope she gets through it and can find some comfort and healing somehow. And i hope ur looking after urself too- u need support as well x

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