[Callmecrazy]

Hi,
I’m still here. Not gambling for a few days now.
My day is absolute misery and feel like I’m never going get my life back together. I have an overwhelming feeling of impending doom lurking inside me every day. At night I drink an anti-anxiety pill that calms me and it’s the only sense of relief I get. Then I watch some YouTube videos that make me happy and provide escapism. I still have enough money to make it a few months to try and put myself together.

I wish I was one of those people that have a solution, the determenation to start working 6 jobs, but I’m not. I feel crippeled.

My topic has been reported for inappropriate content, I’m not sure what I said to offend anyone, but I want to make sure that everyone understands that gambling is the worst thing anyone can get themselves into and I strongly advise against gambling ever. I also don’t think casinos should be legal as they do not live off of so called “responsible gamblers”. They would run out of business immediately. They live off of people like me.

[Callmecrazy]

Hi ttmrtn,

Congratulations on your 59 days. If you can make 3 days, you can make it 14 days and if you can make it 14 days you can make it 21 days and if you can make it 21 days, you can make it a year. Keep up the good work!

I have such a hard time letting go of my huge loss, it’s what’s stopping me from putting my barriers in place. It’s not like I was spinning 100 bet spins.

[Callmecrazy]

I have a dog and my cat died 20 days ago which really spiraled my gambling.

I also have two horses which I’m pretty sure I’ll need to sell. Had them for 14 years. They’re elderly now so I’m not sure I’ll be able to find a good home for them.

I worked almost everything, from finance to internal control to procurement and middle management.

I’m 45, female.

I’m a good tennis player and know how to train horses. I was a child with dreams once and pursued hobbies and passions. Partially because I was talented as a child and good at things, partially because I wanted to please my father who always expected the best results without many investments. So I’m good at many things but don’t excel at anything.

I enjoy playing tennis but spending money on training bothers me, unlike giving tens of thousands of euros to casinos.

I had the money to change my life and reprogram my brain but I gave the money to the casino.

[Callmecrazy]

Hi karis123,

How are you? I’ve been where you’re at. It’s a painful experience to pick yourself up every time you fall. It’s in fact easier to continue gambling which is why we do it. But when we go through the pain of picking ourselves up, it’s easier to keep standing than fall again. So why not try it?

[Callmecrazy]

Hi neveragain,

How are you? If you make good money you’ll recover in no time. Please stop before the burden of gambling starts to interfere with your ability to make money.

Your ability to make money is more important than money itself. You’re 27 and you CAN nip this in the bud.

[Callmecrazy]

So I’m back. Very suicidal right now. I sold my apartment and gambled the money away.
Before gambling away my money, I paid off my credit card debts and two large bank loans.

I’m now left with 15 k cash, 20 k debt, a side hustle that earns me some money, severe depression and no job. No immediate family nor partner.

Last night my body gave out on me. I vomited the entire night and woke up in cold sweat fearing what I would do with the remainder of the money I have. I immediately banned myself from the casino, giving up on chasing my huge loss of almost 100k. There is really no way for me to win any of that money back because I continuosly win nothing. Bonus rounds would give me 120 euro max on 3 euro bets, day in , day out.

I find comfort in thoughts of suicide as I have no idea how I’m going to recover from this.

My whole existance and purpose for being brought to this world is meaningless. Perhaps only to serve as an example to others as what not to do, or to make casinos rich.

My plan is to give myself 3 weeks and try to emotionally recover from this, there is no way I’m in the right state of mind to be able to find a job. The trauma is too severe.

• This reply was modified 6 months, 2 weeks ago by Callmecrazy.

[Callmecrazy]

I tutor children English and they seem to like me very much, so there is that one positive aspect of my life.

[Callmecrazy]

I would like to find a job that is at least bearable to go to but no one seems to be hiring. My last experience had been traumatizing, barely anyone talked to me and I hardly have an idea as to why. I suppose it was due to my narcisstic co-worker hating my guts the moment she saw me and she seemed to be running the place.

That’s one thing that makes me anxious and mad. I have a large circle of friends and bond well with them but the minute I enter an unfamiliar group, the toxic person there hates my guts and starts the backstabbing.

Then there is the boss that doesn’t talk to me at all. No “Good morning”, “Merry Christmas”, no feedback. I just don’t get it. Then I’m lost as to weather approach him or stay out of his way.

That’s another thing that gets me anxious, I have no idea how to navigate such relationships.

I am a person of the old world, where a handshake and my word means something.

So that’s another thing that makes me anxious, I just don’t fit in.

Needless to say I quit that job.

Before that I had a relatively successful career in one corporate firm for 17 years, and as long as I carried the amount of work pertaining to 3 people and was able to put up with the harassment, I sustained it.

Then my mother got sick with Alzheimer’s and my father started drinking and abusing her more than he had ever abused her (and he was abusive all his life, controlling and a ticking time bomb) until I couldn’t stand watching anymore so I quit my job partly to take care of her in full, partly because my gambling had spiralled so out of control I was giving every paycheck to the casinos.

Both died a month and a half later. First my mother, then my father the morning of her funeral. I often think how he wouldn’t let himself rest before he destroyed her and me in the process. I don’t think he let her have the day of her funeral for herself.

The worst part is I loved him. It makes me mad as hell.

Then my egoistical estranged sibling came in for her share of the inheritance, leaving me to cover all the costs of their deaths (funerals and residue bills) myself. She spent her money on a lawyer to go after their estates which I hold half of, hence to go after me.

That’s another thing that makes me angry and bitter and anxious: I was so loyal. God doesn’t reward people like me and neither does the casino.

Then there is the thing about no one around me needing to work, my sister spends her time at the pool while her husband works morning to night, my mother was retired early and my father was the provider, my cousin works from home but I don’t see him working ever. He sleeps till noon and spends his day thinking about his meals, while I was overworked and burdened with responsabilities far greater than I could handle. That makes me angry and anxious too because I have no idea how to set my life in such a way.

I haven’t had a boyfriend in 15 years, and I’m not a bad looking woman and I’m not a drama queen, so there must be something terribly wrong with me, I just don’t understand it.

Basically, I’m a mess and I wouldn’t know how to meditate.

I would also like to be born again into a family that is supportive and cares for me, not to be their solely for their needs.

I would also like to be told I’m worthy and not that I wouldn’t amount to anything, which I haven’t.

I’m truly a mess. I’m really really sorry.

[Callmecrazy]

Hey,

I’ve tried so many times, I’m sick of it. I also suffer from ahedonia and depression and my anxiety is of the roof. I can’t find joy in anything and worry alo the time.

Yes, I own a half in two moderately large houses, have 25 k debt and 15 k cash, don’t have a job but I have a side hustle. I’m so lost and diseased, I have ne idea if 15k is enough money to start over at all for the twentieth time.

[Callmecrazy]

Hi,

I believe all gambling eventually leads to addiction but if you still want to pursue poker I would advise staying away from poker for at least 6 months, then see if you still have the urge to play slots. If it’s still there staying away from all forma of gambling would probably be best.

[Callmecrazy]

Just think of it as an investment into a business that didn’t work out and move on. You thought you could make money selling hot-dogs but it backfired. No big deal. Many businessmen failed before they made it.

I’ve been gambling the past few days pretty much all the time. Before that I stop for 2-3 weeks and then slip and get angry for loosing yet again and then I spiral into the abyss of trying to win something, anything. Hence I deposit larger amounts and spin and never win. I play bets 1-3 euro, when I go bezeerk I play 10. I lost 100 k in 4 months doing that.

For me it’s not even a matter of gambling or not, it’s about wheter I want to continue living or not. Honestly I don’t want to anymore, too much trauma and lonliness and bad luck but I’m afraid if I don’t, I’ll have to come back to this world in another form and repeat the same karma over again.

[Callmecrazy]

Hi iamhere,

I know the burden of remorse that comes with gambling debt and loosing insane amounts of money to casinos.

The fact of the matter is, casino lords are predators and they make themselves extremely rich exploiting the misery of others. I myself don’t believe in occasional gamblers, there is no such thing. These businesses don’t live off of somebody’s 50 dollars/ euros here and there. They would go bankrupt in a second. The less we feed them, the sooner they’ll go away and they will eventually.

I got a little sidetracked, but what I wanted to say about your 35 k debt, as a possible strategy to help you vi?e, is can you trick your mind into believing you invested that money into a business that went sour?

Tons of people invest into businesses that fail. They open a carwash, a laundromat, a bar, a diner, a petshop…whatever… and they go into debt and fail. These people brush off and carry on, they don’t linger and fester over the loss as gamblers do. This is because deep down we know we’ve been lured and tricked and we’re unable to forgive ourselves.

So if you trick your mind your loss was an investment into a business that failed no different than a laundromat, you might be able to get over the loss quicker.

A lie repeated many times becomes truth. “I invested into a business opportunity that backfired and crashed. Time to move on and look for something else.”

That’s one strategy that might help.

[Callmecrazy]

Hi Treehead,

I’m in the same boat. I lost 100 k in 4 months playing slots. I did not win anything, climbed up to 2000 euro three times which I eventually lost.

My entire life gone. Apart from loosing the money, I am even angrier of the injustice of it all. 100 k not even one hand over 2000 euros.

I’m in the process of ending my life, putting my affairs in order. I have no family, no job, no career, only an endless history of trauma and abuse.

I worked very hard all my life, for the company I worked for, for my parents -catering to their whims until their dying breaths (and they didn’t really care much about me, only what I could do for them), for my employer that overworked me to the point I couldn’t handle it anymore and quit.

As the last nail to my coffin , I gave 100 k to a casino that gave me absolutely nothing.

Everyday I wake up with disgust and wish not to be here and I won’t be much longer.

Today I’m taking my friend on a shopping spree for her birthday. I’ll buy her whatever she wants, it’ll be my goodbye to her but she won’t know.

[Callmecrazy]

Yes, it isn’t easy. The first 10-20 days I could only concentrate on breathing and I slept whenever I had free time during the day. Nights I embraced because it was the only time I felt safe. No calls from debtors, no mailman ringing the door.

It will get easier. It is going to be okay. Meanwhile, try only to breathe. One step at a time, one due debt at a time.
This too shall pass.

[Callmecrazy]

Hi yoyo,
Hope you’re doing good. I noticed you seem to relapse after a month goes by. How about waking up those days and being very vigiliant?
Tell yourself “my problem days are coming, there is a trap set for me every day that will trigger me to gamble. I will lay in wait and be cautious of the trap.”

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