[dajakesta]

Hi guys! I abstained from going to the casino today after the errand! I feel so proud of myself but there was a bit of regret of not going even though I know the odds are against me. Do these kinds of urges come up often?

[dajakesta]

Pretty much out of options, maxed out my credit cards, no money in the bank, cash is the only thing available

[dajakesta]

I am going to register for a course, I have to bring money. But, I would have to make sure that I do not bring any extra or else I mighy go down the destructive path again.

[dajakesta]

6th day free from gambling, got very restless today due to wakeups by my mom and thought about going but I abstained from it. Tomorrow will be thr hardest day due to the fact that I need to run an errand and the place isvery close to a casino. Another thing is that I give myself set dates that I need to repay the credit card. The pay date I’ve set is 1 week from now and I am short of 2.5k. Hope this pressure won’t take me down the path of destruction that I’ve steered clear of for almost a week

[dajakesta]

5th day gambling free, went to school, did some swimming and relaxing stuff at home. Stopped going to casinos but can’t stay away from videos of other people playing slots, roulette…etc although I’m more of a blackjack/ultimate texas holdem type of guy >.<

[dajakesta]

I went into a very deep conversation with my self and found out that gambling isn’t about the excitement of winning anymore, it’s about resent and regret of losing that much money and trying to recover it by throwing more money at it. If you win a small amount by chance, you will always think about the losses you have sustained and this will dilute the feeling of winning. Since I found that winning isn’t about the thrills anymore and it’s more of a very momentary relief of getting your initial buyin back and a slight positive variation that lies in the inevitable road to loserville.
TL;DR
Gambling turned from winning and feeling the thrills to becoming the abusive husband/wife that sometimes will give you something but most of the time will take everything away, your ego, dignity, money and family.

[dajakesta]

4th day of abstinence, don’t quite have the urge to lay down a bet anymore and looking forward to quitting for good

[dajakesta]

It’s just a goal for now that I have set. I hope that after paying for everything, I wilk stay off of gambling forever due to the sheer length of tine it’ll take to pay off 30k or so

[dajakesta]

3rd day without laying down a bet, feels very promising and freeing but the urge is still there

[dajakesta]

Not quite, but if I were to quit at 5k, i would have travelled to japan

[dajakesta]

My word of warning, whatever you do, don’t find a loan shark. a few hundred will turn into a few thousand with those guys and soon, you will be in a worse position than now. If you can, reach out to your friend like lizbeth said.

dajakest

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