[dave_gma]

Mike,

Glad to see your head back above the parapet in the forum. Keep on posting. Catch you in group on Monday and hopefully a chat before then as well. Stay on the radar..

Dave

[dave_gma]

Hi Mike, good to see you in the group last night. Keep putting your head above the parapet, keep accessing the support and don’t become that recluse that you were before.
You’ve got much right in your recovery since leaving GMA so keep working on what you have found hard whilst not losing sight of the good work you’ve done too.

[dave_gma]

Well done for posting an update Mike and for keeping it honest. You did so much right whilst in treatment that there was no good reason to change all that just ’cause you’d returned home. You’ve had a few blow outs and are feeling the ill effects now. As you say though, no gambling.
I like to see that you’re returning to budget controls and to cutting the alcohol back out. Both were things that really helped you whilst in treatment so why change that?
Keep posting and get involved in other people’s threads too. It was great to see you in group last evening as well.

Dave

[dave_gma]

We sure would be pleased Janey!

[dave_gma]

Welcome aboard Mike, delighted to see your first post on here and to have your presence in our ex residents group on Monday night. Keep doing both and you will add to those gambling free days I’m sure.

[dave_gma]

Hi Bonkers,

Nice to see your update and to hear that things are ticking along nicely for you and your family. Two years clean time is no mean achievement, well done. You’ve crammed so many things into that time as well; cruises, theatre trips, football matches. You’re truly embracing recovery and all that life offers.

Dave

[dave_gma]

A barrier that had success for me, albeit not in the short term, was self exclusion. I often hear it said by our residents “I don’t need to self exclude from the bookies, I’m not going to gamble again”. Either that or the old favourite “the staff change all the time, they don’t recognise me, I would still be able to gamble”. The former is fantastically na?ve, cocky and brazen, and the latter is merely an avoidance of one’s own responsibilities in recovery.
When I self excluded from my local betting shops, I didn’t demand that the staff all memorised my face and studied my photo; once the forms were signed, I KNEW I WAS BANNED FROM THAT SHOP. The shame of being asked to leave if I had snuck back in to gamble kept me away. So did this mean I stopped gambling? Absolutely not; I just had to go farther afield to do so. This is where the self exclusion really worked though. Another phrase I hear a lot is “there are that many bookies you can’t possibly ban yourself from them all”. No you can’t, but you most certainly can buy yourself thinking time by putting a ‘ring of steel’ around your local area.
I would jump on a train to another town in order to gamble and this gave me the time to think about what I was doing. Had I not self excluded from my local shops then I would have been out of my front door and in the shop in 5 minutes flat. Because I had to travel for nigh on an hour to the next nearest bookies I had that whole hour to think about my actions. It didn’t stop me the first handful of times I went gambling, but it certainly didn’t take too long for me to wise up. It was costing me time to travel, it was costing me money to travel and I had a long way to get home afterwards during which time I could ponder my actions. Without self exclusion this wouldn’t have been possible.
Saying no to self exclusion does not say desperately healthy things about one’s recovery. I allow myself a wry smile when I am told “but passport photos cost a lot of money and there’s 10 shops to do round my way”. So ten quids’ worth of photos cost more than a day in the bookies?!
Remember that the clue is in the wording ‘SELF-exclusion’. It is one’s own responsibility to stay out of the betting shop. Self exclusion did so much more than merely keep me out of my local bookies, it made me do some serious self evaluating, reminded me that I was strong enough to decide to exclude myself in the first place and therefore in moments of clarity I knew I wanted to stop.
My bans from my local shops have long since expired but I know they remain off limits. This isn’t the sole reason I don’t gamble any more but it makes my local high street seem like a gambling establishment free zone. No mean feat when such places dominate these days.
If someone is reading this who is ‘umming and aahing’ about self excluding from their local bookies/casino/arcade/online, then act now. Ask yourself why you WOULDN’T self exclude? What would be the benefits? Any at all?
If you are reading this and are in the early stages of recovery, don’t believe that simply self excluding will make your desire to gamble go away. It won’t, I don’t think, but I truly believe it’ll make you think and question all your future actions.
So to answer your question Harry, a barrier like self exclusion doesn’t even necessarily physically stop us gambling as I outlined above but it will give you food for thought in your recovery. This may not sound like much use, but it played on my conscience and the internal battles that ensued meant I started to resent gambling as I was spending more and more time just travelling to get to the bookies.
I apologise if this became a ramble but I happened to be perusing the site and as someone who champions self exclusion I wanted to share my thoughts on it. If you have read this far and are someone struggling in recovery and looking for a spark, make self exclusion your thing. Come on, it’s a few quid/bucks/dollars on some photos and could be the best money you ever spent.

Dave

[dave_gma]

Hi Sam,

I’m pleased you followed up on our chat in the group last evening and have posted your story. Keep reading and writing on here and join any groups that you can. Good luck with the phone call today….

Dave

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