[gov3]

Yes you are right I need to sort out my health before applying or beginning a new job .

[gov3]

Right last night I was up till 2am and this Time it wasn’t to gamble but it was to change my life for good .
I been thinking lately and looking at my life and trying to find out what has Made me the decision to go in to gambling route and I came to conclusion that it’s my job . I am not happy with my job and since I became ill they bullied me left right centre and made my illness at it’s worst stage .
Therefore last night till 2 am I was looking for a new job and I realised that there is so many jobs I can do with my level of experience. The problem is what’s keeping me back is my two surgeries that I am waiting to have .
I was very young when I took up my current job and become so comfortable with it and it feels like if I leave now i will never find same job that pays well . But something tells me that tmr I need to do a cv and apply to this new job I found so should I listen to my heart or should I just walk away not sure what to do.
But what I do know is my current job is killing me slowly in every way and I am seriously not happy and I need to do something about it .

[gov3]

Thank you for taking time to reply to me . Firstly I congratulate you for making the decision to quit .
This forum is great and everyone had been through the same.
Yes society perception infused us also the dire to compete with others or feel very important just because you have expensive stuff .

I live in a very pretentious area full of wannabe rich people and they walk around with Chanel bags and just because they wear Chanel bag they feel important .

I realised that I been trying to keep up with these kind of people.

Now everything is simple for me at the end of the day what’s the point of having 30 pairs of shoes you can only wear one at a time can’t wear them all can you .
Also what’s the point of having so many hand bags .
I know I might sound shallow but these where the things pulling me in to the life of gambling as I always wanted more and was trying to compete with others .
I have allot debt and these are mostly gambling debts I been doing really well by paying them off quicker thang I thought but when I look at it that money could of gone to something useful rather than a selfish habbit .
I been listening to allot of Allan watts his def inspired me

[gov3]

Hello liberty

Welcome to our world , we all been there done that but maybe instead of bearing yourself congratulate yourself as it’s hard to admit having a problem.
However every problem has always have a solution you just have to see the bigger picture .
Life is certainly worth living and debts will waky as be there when we have a society who is based on materialism . This is the rute to all of our problems as we want more and more all the time . However when we stop wanting more and just be satisfied with what we have we will live a much happier life.

It’s not your fault whatsoever . If you made the decision to stop now you will stop it will be a hard journey maybe but it certainly will be a happy one .

Look in to meditation that helped me allot and maybe start reading educational books anything that takes your mind off.
Silence the mind and don’t worry about the future what is important is now and here .

Hope I am making sense lol

[gov3]

I want to write allot but I though if I write a quote might explain better what I want to say . So here it is

Waking up to who you are requires letting go of who you imagine yourself to be

Alan watts

I am glad you are in much better mood and still gamble fee , your life will be so much better now and stronger . Live your life to the full without anything controlling you . I would suggest to listen some of Alan watts lectures on you tube it’s pretty interesting . X

[gov3]

Thank your for your lovely post.
Today I know that I will never every gamble again . I have never said this before but I know that last two months thought me allot .
I am really looking forward to my gamble free journey .
This was a lesson and I have learnt now time to move on and look no further .

[gov3]

Thank you for responding to my diary .
I been on holiday and didn’t take my laptop and I couldn’t update my diary via my mobile so I been quiet for a while . I lost count of what day I am in with regard to gamble free time .
So far I have not gambled yayyyy
I paid quarter of my debts it’s been hard but I managed to get them down well. I know I am making sacrifice as I am on a very tight budget but this is teaching me how much money I waisted on gambling .
This journey has taught me allot , i learnt that I was living in a bubble that needed to be burst it’s been almost over two months since I been gamble free .
I have decided that once I get my self back on feet I am going to help disadvantaged children to get education in a third world country my contribution might help one or two child but it’s something I want to do this as amount of money I waisted could of helped someone out there that needed the most .
I think here is a purpose I came to this world and one of those purposes is not to be a gambler but to do something that can help others as well as my family .
I also learnt that material things don’t matter much in this world because only things that stay is the memories we make with our loved once .
I been living in a bubble , I always wanted to be rich for my own selfish reasons in order to buy posh gucci handbags or designer clothes but none of this gave me satisfaction or happiness instead I wanted more so I started gambling to win that bug money .
I know I might be not making sense but this holiday with my family taught me allot .
I now want to make a difference not just for my self but for my family and everyone around me , I am not saying I am going to make the world a better place for everyone but if I can change something that that’s my contribution to Mother Earth.
I have changed allot .
I been reading all the posts whilst away as I get emails for the posts I follow but couldn’t update or reply to them but hope everyone in this journey will get the great results like I am.
I know it’s still early states for me and my partner still controls my money but this is giving me allot of goodness .

[gov3]

I am still going strong no gambling . But I did get the urge last nigh very badly

[gov3]

Again nothing major to update been really busy still gamble free

[gov3]

I was away for 3 days stayed at my mums so that we can have a change it was great no urge to gamble things seems to be looking up for me I just hope it carries on like this .

[gov3]

I had horrible day today was at an assessment that took place 6 hrs and proper drained the hell out of me . Need a glass of wine for sure now . No urges today as I got no time for it . Looking forward for my lasagne .
Recaived my waist training corset nearly threw up wearing it def not my cup of tea lol.
Socks are better heheheh . Any way my little one done my head in today too so overall not. Great day

[gov3]

I been very busy today so didn’t have chance to update I am doing really good very proud of my self , it’s like I got new chapter in my life gamble free life and feels great.
I still need help so looking forward to my counselling sessions very soon .
I was at my local supermarket today normally I will at least buy a scratch card as I was so in to any gambling I didn’t but any for the last 22 days it actually makes me feel sick seeing them now .
Instead I brought me and my little one fruits to have for lunch felt really good .
Hope everyone else had a good day .

[gov3]

Not allot to write today I been so busy and had so much crazy nightmares

[gov3]

Woww I have already done 3 weeks without gambling so happy right now.
Not allot to say for today got lots of washing to do and house work , it’s going to be lazy day for us today . Hope everyone else is enjoying their bank holiday weekend. Xx

[gov3]

Again a very busy day today got kids birthday party to attend and than a family day . Last night I. Had such a bad nightmare again it wasn’t about gambling but it was horrible cannot wait till these nightmare to end . I am so proud of my self for making to today without gambling feels so good .
But I know the next test going to be payday for me I normally gambled after payday .
I managed to not gamble this payday and hoping the same for the next one .
God save the ex gamblers
I keep getting gambling emails and text it’s funny how they know I don’t gamble anymore so their emailed are more intense now and at least 10 a day despite the fact I unsucrible
Have a lovely day everyone xx

[Author]

Posts