[Hope1]

Really appreciate you taking the time to write. It is definitely a joy to hear that you can beat it. Success stories give me hope, I have listened carefully to everything you said and heeded your words,

Feeling a bit tired and still worried,
Thank you again
Hope

[Hope1]

I keep chech
King for a reply velvet

[Hope1]

Another thing he said was that life is a battle and he’s tired of fighting it. When he’s not at work he is just alone in his room. He has many friends, but has. Not been in contact with them, last night he went to his girlfriends, but I think he was struggling to motivate himself to go there. He’s not keeping us in the loop re his money stuff, but says he’s ok. I don’t think he’s deflecting from the gambling, but not talking is not helping him. I know he needs specialised help. Hope

[Hope1]

Did your son go back to the house for more re hab? Velvet?

[Hope1]

Velvet, thanks for the Last post. But I feel really worried. No suicide threats, just my husband has been with our son, and gsome of the things he has said to his dad is that he is weary, it’s hard just functioning and carrying on. And a lot of other stuff. My husband feels concerned. He feels our son is depressed. He has said about going to the gp but our son said, ‘what can he do ‘ and to a point, I agree cos there seems to be nothing out there. I am not deflecting from the gambling, cos that is there, but in my heart I feel something is wrong. He g
Has said thing
Has in the past like he doesn’t think his head is wired right and that his brain feels like a jigsaw with a piece missing . In my gut I feel something is wrong and I don’t know how to help. I will find the money for special counselling if this would help., after my husbands analysis of our sons head tonight, I am really in a state of worry . I think the gambling is a big issue, but his mindset is worrying me.. You won’t know, but before all th GM re hab we paid for therapy etc that he didn’t relate to. I just know something is really wrong and I don’t know what to do. To have a message from my son sayin he is tired and weary of life is not good .

[Hope1]

Well I’m not in a good place, as my son has been gambling for over 8 years. A good thing would be to start your own thread, there is really good help from velvet.
You need to put more a bout your story, it is a very difficult journey for parents. I am learning that as a parent I have to protect myself and look after myself and not be taken to my sons place of despair. Your son will lie, steal, fabricate stories, become deluded, and no matter how much you know that he is a good person, he is not t he person you know until he has got his gambling under control. Only he can help himself. We need to look after ourselves. What exactly do you need help with. Hope

[Hope1]

Yes, and that hurts knowing he’s in a delusional state, knowing he’s not being honest, knowing that he’s probably chasing his losses . All that hard earned money. What a waste, I hope I’m wrong. I’m working on looking after me, I have to leave him to make his own mistakes, only he can do it. It’s just that it’s hard to switch off. What do I do though if he has no money to buy his train ticket for work and he has no money. Last month that’s the one thing we did buy. Thing is to lose his job would not help him at all especially when he is doing well there, it’s the only thing that he seems to be working at. Hope

[Hope1]

Thank you worried mamma, I hear what you are saying, and I must follow your guidance for my own sanity. I am thinking it may be
appropriate to ask him to find rented accommodation. He just doesn’t play by the rules in our home.
He’s at his girlfriend s today, and I suspect there will be discussions about holidays as she is keen to go away.
Thanks again, I am listening

[Hope1]

Thank you worried mamma, I hear what you are saying, and I must follow your guidance for my own sanity. I am thinking it may be
appropriate to ask him to find rented accommodation. He just doesn’t play by the rules in our home.
He’s at his girlfriend s today, and I suspect there will be discussions about holidays as she is keen to go away.
Thanks again, I am listening

[Hope1]

Thanks velvet, I am listening. Well it’s the 2 nd sept he got paid on the last day of Aug, he promised to pay off an important debt when he got paid, so far, nothing forthcoming, says he has to go to the bank to do the transfer, I’m not hopeful. Just feel abused, can’t say anymore. Wish I could report more positives. Even if he does pay this important debt ( not to us). It always seems he is controlling. Fed up

[Hope1]

There are two things that I identified with in your post velvet. One is your second sentence – it depends on what the addiction is doing to his mind, and something in your last sentence – the lull before the storm, of which we have experienced so many. I have been thinking of the lull before the storm and the sinking feeling I have just thinking about it. He has a commitment to pay some money to a friend from this wage. Already I have asked him for the payment, and already he said he will do it over the weekend, even though he got paid today. Not really happy with that.
I told my son I was getting help from you and this site, he said he could easily get on this and that it wouldn’t be difficult for him to identify my posts. I said I was happy for him to do so, cos it may do him good to see my thoughts and feelings. I know he is a lovely sensitive person, but sometimes I am concerned about his mindset in some of the things he says, I don’t always recognise him as my son. Well, I really hope he pays this important debt.
We drew a line under previous debt following his rehab, but I have told him that the stuff he owes since this needs to be paid Back. I told him he needed to pay external debts first, and after this just give us a schedule of payments. He still lives at home rent/ expense free. I really think he needs more residential rehab input, we are trying to focus and get on. I have to say though , I have felt extremely low these past few days, to the extent I a
May need to see my gp . I just work 2 and a half days a week at the mo, I love what I do, but I have even felt it difficult to get out of bed. One day I just stayed in bed all day. I’m feeling tired. My lovely daughter is so caring, she has tried so much to help her brother, as ha s his bro.
Me and my husband have just booked a hol, so that’s good.
I just don’t know how our sons mind is working.

If we have another trauma, then I really believe he needs major help, I want to believe he will move forward, but I have experienced so many lUlls before the storm.
Help
Hope

[Hope1]

Well we have had a better weekend, my son has been more sociable, and quite lovely. He’s reluctant to talk about his problem, but he has been part of the family and that’s lovely. I want him to understand how much we love him, we don’t judge him, but we want him to squash the gambling monster. I’m sure he does not feel good about himself at times, but there’s one thing bothering me and that is his reluctance to talk, he told me that this was important to talk when he came out of re hab

. Well pay day is tomorrow so let’s see what this next month holds. But like you said, I have to look after me and that what I’m trying to do. Hope

[Hope1]

I am making headway in terms of protectin me, my husband and our family, but this morning I woke up sad , I feel as though I have lost my son

[Hope1]

Thanks worried mama, your words are what I needed to hear. I think I have been working along these lines to get it right for me and my husband. You words reinforce what I need to do in terms of boundaries. Thanks so much. I hope all is well with your situation.

[Hope1]

We have spoken about our sons stage and where he is after the GMA rehab, you mentioned that rehab works for some, but others are not ready. I definitely think he took the academic reasoning and the verbal stuff, rationales etc on board, but I have started thinking did his heart, soul and inner self really embrace it

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