[i-did-it]

Hi Brian, just to clarify- I wasn’t talking About removing triggers – that would be impossible as you rightly explained . I was talking about removing access to gambling. Think MAT- money access time . If u remove your access to money for example then regardless of the triggers it will be impossible to gamble because you won’t have money . Is this difficult? -yes hellishly so- is it worth it ?- amazingly so.
Brian- I hated when my husband handed me money like a child getting Pocket money. In fact my child got more.
However I am enjoying a lovely life right now fairly free from the urges of this horrible compulsion. I am aware and keep up with accountability -but my money is spent on me and my family now – not gambling .
I struggled with this for years and always left a door open just in case -that was my downfall. When all doors are closed (barriers set high) it is next to impossible to gamble .

Brian I hope this helps and well done on not gambling today!

[i-did-it]

HI Brian- reading your post I’m not sure if you want to stop gambling or continue to place small bets.
Unfortunately when we cross the line from recreational gambler to it becoming a compulsion we need to stop completely . It gives our minds a chance to settle and the obsession with gambling will lessen.

Your wife knows anyway so to be honest the best thing you could do is tell her about the small bets .

Get a gambling blocker for your phone like gamblock and decide right now that you are stopping completely.

Your success will motivate you- it is the best feeling in the world when you begin to feel normal- when you can have conversations with your wife that are not masked by your hidden compulsion.
Decide your bet free life starts today nov 1st and then prepare for battle with this horrible addiction.

It doesn’t matter if you have already bet today – you can Rem first nov was ur last bet .
Sort the phone out . It’s too easy when the urges come . Get a brick if u need to – I had one for months and I survived .

Keep posting your progress here – hour by hot if u need to .

You will beat it a u just have to commit fully and that means getting rid of those slightly ajar doors we all leave when we are fighting addiction .

[i-did-it]

Hi I won . i think that book sounds like a great idea but make sure u have a gambling blocker on ur computer !
With my own recovery I found that the things I wanted to do least were the things that helped me most – eg hubby finding out !

Put every barrier in place and really go for it this time ! You are winning a new life minute by minute !

[i-did-it]

Hi Dote,
I can give u advice ,the same as I received for years but really unless u are ready to call stop on this problem it won’t matter .
First thing is how do you gamble ? If it is online invest in a gambling blocker for your computer/ laptop/phone etc. Gamblock and bet filter are two good ones.

Get yourself banned from all places you gamble .

Next ring all your debtors and set up a sensible repayment plan which leaves you enough to live comfortably. You will be amazed how quickly your credit score will rise and also how much money you have for debts when gambling isn’t using most of it .

You could maybe confide in one do your parents and tell them how things got out of hand and ask for their help. They could look after your account until you are ready to do so yourself. They will know something is up already and may be worrying it is drugs so they might be relieved .

Try coming to the groups on here – check times – they are good and most helpful.

There is no easy way out . But when u have a good wage things get better really quickly
Also whe u stop gambling your mind clears (all that counting and adding takes a lot of mind space) and you are able to focus on really dealing with the debt not just the immediate hurdle .

Please stay with this site. Consider joining GA.

Hope this helps

[i-did-it]

HI Bee, yes the urges decrease the longer we are gamble free and even if the odd one comes we are better able to rationalise and dismiss them. You are doing amazingly well. I bet you feel better already despite the urges . Our brains kinda clear of a lot of the low feeling gambling brings .
Your grandchildren sound delightful. Enjoy ur tv show !

[i-did-it]

Hi Bee – just wondering where u have gone. As they say in weightwatchers- if u have had a good week your meeting needs you – if you have had a bad week you need your meeting. Hope to hear an update soon

[i-did-it]

HI Axis ,
There are probably not many of us on here who not hit it big at least once . There are not many of us who didn’t think our we are on a winning streak, we have so much money we are invincible , we are special or more clever than others. There’s also not many of us who have not lost all our winnings . Sometimes we hang on for a day – sometimes a week . Sometimes we lose it slowly – sometimes much faster.
Unless you take action now to completely block all kinds of gambling I think we know the end of this story .

Tell someone and get them to manage the password for this account. Give them control of the account u are lodging it to . If we could control it we wouldn’t lose so much. Admit defeat and leave with a nice nest egg. Or continue and ???

[i-did-it]

Hi Wisefox, it’s horrible when we suddenly realise the damage we have done . However there are many positives in your post .1 someone thinks enough of you to let u sleep on their sofa
2. Your sister obviously adores you
3. You are not on the street tonight.
4 you have not gambled today

Wisefox I guess if you have been at Gordon Moody you know many of the things you can do to keep you safe. Not so long ago I thought I could never stop and yet I have .

I am not surprised u feel irritable but just ride it out . You can do this Wisefox . It’s not easy – it’s cold turkey – but u can do it !

[i-did-it]

Hi Steven , I just read through your thread and I could have written it. Especially the times I withdrew and thought my control was returning . Also how I still felt bad afterwards even thought I had won. I guess deep down we know we are indulging in something which will destroy us .
Well done on your gamble free time . It’s not easy but so worth it . I love how you are feeling “normal”. I don’t know what gambling does to the brain chemistry but it is great to feel ok again.
I have never picked up the courage to go to GA so I admire you for doing so. You have done really well and I know u wil continue to go from strength to strength .

[i-did-it]

Hi Bee, thank u for ur post on my thread . You are around a week gamble free! That is amazing Bee.! Trust me all of us here know how difficult it is to get past day one never mind a week. You are really doing well. I think it is really important to treat yourself (feel the guilt and do it anyway) to something you normally would never buy. Just think if u had gambled u wud be hundreds down anyway . The list is endless – eyebrow makeover , nails , lipstick – now I wanna go shop.!
Something just for u that u will notice all the time!!

I think (and I can only talk from my own experience -I have no expertise ) that this helps retrain the brain in the following ways
1. You do start to believe you are worth it if you start behaving in a way that shows u value yourself
2. Money starts to have a different focus – a “me me” focus cos so many of the gambling fantasies we have are about what we will do for others with our big win.- again this comes back to valuing ourselves
3. U build new brain connections which with practice will Take over from the gambling ones
4 you will feel secretly pleased /happy each time you look at your nails/ mirror etc cos u will look great and also u will know u are beating this thing.

There that my personal psychobabble for today ! Keep working it Bee! I am so impressed!!!

[i-did-it]

Maverick well done on resisting those urges. Keep working at Mav. At last i understand why we need other interests to fill our time! It’s our mind that needs filled. We need to have other things to distract us when the urges come.
There are some sites which advertise meet ups for all kinds of things . One of these might interest you and it would give you a new distraction . Just an idea to think about .
Hope the urges have faded . You deserve freedom from this .

[i-did-it]

Fantastic poem Vera !

[i-did-it]

Hi Sarah ! Welcome and well done on facing up to things .
I think you should be in the other forum tho!

My tips would be
1 . stay accountable to your mum about ur money
Maybe even get her to handle your account for awhile and monitor what u spend
2. Treat yourself to nice things even while u pay off debts -things which remind you that money has other purposes and that reward u for not gambling .
3. Don’t look back . What is gone is gone and is never coming back. Eyes firmly looking forward .

Hope this helps

[i-did-it]

HI Bee .hope all is going well today . You can do this ! You are doing this .
And the great news is it will get easier to do this !
Keep working at it . Well done On all the self excluding !
u deserve this Bee! Believe that, believe in u !

[i-did-it]

Well done Bee. So pleased for u . Keep plugging away at it. U will get there . I had no will power either but it does grow with free time. I actually did what u are doing – signing up and blocking. Now when u get money treat urself to something frivolous like getting ur nails done so u can see all the time the reward of not gambling . Dont think about it , don’t feel guilty about it. Just do it. My first buy was sparkly sandals which I wore every day and they sang to me “u are gamble free” . Bee u are doing it . !!!

[Author]

Posts