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I can stop for weeks if I don’t have any money, but once I do have money.. a few hours.. MAYBE days
I know I need to stop, but if I do then what ? If I gamble there’s a slim chance I might win big and be able to life comfortably. Without gambling I accept a normal life working a sh*t job and struggling month to month like everyone else. I don’t want that. The hope of winning big is all I have.
I was so close to withdrawing and just going to sleep but I just couldn’t stop.. I was over ￡400 up.. I was ￡500 up the week before but it’s never enough…
I did it again. 1:36am and all my wages are gone. I gave my mum some which is great and everything but despite being able to walk away with over ￡400 profit I kept going until there was nothing.
I can’t stop.
I emailed her fair asking for a bonus and got ￡50 so had a gamble and lost it. Technically I haven’t lost anything but I still have he same feeling as I would if it were my money. I’m counting down until Friday when I’ll have money.. if I can just give my mum ￡100 or buy something before I gamble then I’ll be ok no matter the out come. I just don’t want to lose it all at like 1am as soon as I’m paid.
But if I give up control of my money, I’m not really beating the problem because eventually when I get the money I’ll probably lose it..
My plan isn’t to live gamble-free, I’ve accepted I’ll always gamble, I just want to do it in moderation like normal people. Maybe just ￡10 on a machine or the lotto every week.I just want to stop doing it compulsivly because that’s how I play now, all or nothing and it usually needs to nothing. 9 times out of 10 I actually win a lot I just want to learn to walk away.