[kstep85]

12 weeks into the 14 week programme. No real wobbles in terms of gambling thoughts. This course is far more than just stopping gambling. This couse really works on and helps you face up to all of your problems, to rediscover yourself as a person, to get back in touch with your emotions, feelings, morals. It helps you begin to get yourself and your life back.

As problem gamblers we have lived a hectic life fixated on money, financial pressure / terror, wins, losses, incredible highs and life threatening lows. Our thinking has become so distorted that we have lost ourself, maybe loves ones / others.

If you feel like gambling has taken everything from you, you’re at rock bottom, you have almost nowhere else to turn……turn to GMA.

It is a very challenging process, you live with 8other people who have hit their own rock bottom, have their own issues, you live close kint with people you may not associate with usually. You face up to all the things you have been escaping from, lying about, been in denial about.

Putting this in short…..the Gordon Moody programme is amazing and is a must for anyone who wants to choose life over gambling.

Good Luck to you all.

Kstep85

[kstep85]

Hi Everyone,

Hope you’re all doing as well as can be and are gambling free.

7 weeks in at GMA and it’s all going well overall. Better than I expected and I feel confident about recovery right now but I have learnt that it is not easy and that I must not be complacent.

The place itself is no where near as bad as I had feared. Nothing like a prison and it has a balance with the therapy and your own time.

If there is anyone out there who is second guessing coming to GMA, I would urge you to come no matter what and grasp your chance at recovery with 2 hands and an open mind with a willingness to come out of any comfort zones. Be 100% honest amd commit to the programme.

Saturday trips to restaurants, cinema, laser quest, golf, zoo as well as inter camp activities like pool, darts, table tennis, football and just generally socialising with people in the same position as you all helps.

7 weeks in, so far so good.

Also got MrExon from this site living with me and he is a great lad and a good friend already.

GMA is the right place for you.

See you all soon
Stat Gamble Free.

KStep85

[kstep85]

I’ll be looking out for you mate. Look out for a handsome devil with a big beard and a big nose. Nice and close for you so i’m sure you’ll get Dudley being so close mate. I think you can request Dudley with Amy if you’ve not got a date yet.

Keep on the right path mate, we’ve all taken the first big steps.

Lets smash it and sort ourselves out. All the best for now.

KStep

[kstep85]

Not relapsed or placed an actual bet here guys so don’t panic….

My last bet is for myself.

I BET THAT I DO NOT PLACE ANY BETS FOR THE NEXT 14 WEEKS, This is the only bet I want to place and win for the rest of my life.

I will get to Dudley around 1pm.

Stay strong people and for the final time in a little while,

For today I will not gamble.
Good luck everyone.

KStep

[kstep85]

The 14 week journey all starts tomorrow.

You guys have shown sound support along the way so far and I look forward to updating you all on things probably around November time when I get out.

Hope you all give your own personal journeys your all, remember it’s not easy. One day at a time, keep things simple where possible. Let your feelings out, continue to talk. Vent your frustrations, celebrate your milestones, achievements no matter how big or small.

Bad days come, bad weeks and months, try and have more good days than bad ones and understand it is all part of the journey and process.

I aim to go the full 14 weeks without and relapse, without gambling at all.

My daughter deserves a Daddy, my partner deserves me to be the best man I can and deserves to be treated like a princess. Time to stop being selfish and become the man I want to be. It won’t be easy, it won’t be a miracle cure but I know I am going to get the help I have needed for many years and get a lot of the tools I need to have a fighting chance.

You only get one life, blink and you’ll miss it, gamble and you’ll miss so much more.

Thanks for all your support. Hope to meet some of you in there and catch the rest of you on the otherside.

For today I have not gambled, for 14 weeks I shall not gamble.

Much Love

KStep

[kstep85]

Nice one mate, theory books are a great shout….sorting driving out will open up a lot of doors and it’s not too late for us to sort our driving out.

Managed to get myself an MP3 player right at the last minute, borrowed one off a mate.

Medication, Toiletries etc sorted.

Clothes i’m probably overthinking but we’re there until November so i’m whacking enough in there. To be fair due to a shit few years I’ve bought **** all in terms of clothes for ages.

Some clothes so I hopefully do some fitness and shorts for swimming.

Wasn’t sure if we needed to take any stuff like bedding or anything but i’m gonna risk not taking it as it wasn’t on the list.

Yeah it’s definitely 3 houses of 3 people, TV in the main lounge after 5pm. Games room for all residents with pool, darts type stuff.

As long as I can speak to the mrs and my little one at least once a week then I should be able to see it through. Obviously not going to be easy but I need to do it and I need to really try and see it through so I can start to sort my life out.

4hours on train from sussex, south coast for me. Will be alright, journeys are an adventure as long as I don’t get lost on the tube.

Hopefully it will go better for you this time mate with you being more on top of the meds etc. I’ve been quite skinny most of my life, always been around 11stone and 5ft 10. I’m 13 stone 4 at the minute but my fitness is ****ing shocking. Just want to try and get in shape and get fit so we’ll sort something out.

Safe journey mate, try and remember everything you need to take. I’ll see you there, i’ll be getting there around 13.30pm tomorrow.

Plenty of things i’m not sure about so cheers for a few ideas and the mp3 reminder.

Sleep well, big day tomorrow mate.

KStep

[kstep85]

Hi there,

Firstly, really big well done for posting and putting yourself out there.

I’m no expert in this, I have only recently begun to come to terms with my own addiction / compulsive gambling problem.

I think this is a good starting point for you. Realisation and the start of admission that you have a problem.

Other steps that may come in useful, if this constant cycle has affected you in any lf the ways that mine has then one option that helped me was seeing a doctor and explaining things. Doctors can find ways to help with mood and mindset.

For myself it was enough is enough time, I had told myself over and over that I didn’t have a problem or that I could fix the problems myself. Until you fully admit to yourself that you are a compulsive gambler, you do have a problem then it would be almost impossible to get the help you need.

You have to learn to be transparent, open, honest with your partner otherwise you will never get away from living a lie and therefore never break the cycle.

If you haven’t done so already, I would suggest going properly onto the main Gordon Moody website and getting your head around what they are all about. They offer a 14 week in house residential treatment programme for compulsive gamblers who meet their criteria depending on circumstances etc. This is what I am about to embark on.

I have a partner, I have a daughter, a mortgage etc…..14 weeks away from them is almost unthinkable but it ks 14 weeks that could give me back the rest of my life.

There are online support groups and live chat sessions on this website and others. Gamblers anonymous in your local area can be effective of you commit to it.

You will get through this month somehow but eventually it will only end one of a few very nasty ways. It will get too much and suicide will become a very real possibility. You will end up alone, broke, with all ties to friends and family gone if you do not get control of this.

There are many more experienced members on this site who will give you some fantastic advice over the coming days or weeks so try and keep yourself active on here.

For me, admitting everything absolutely fully and truthfully to my partner was my necessary first step. Seeing a doctor for my mood and suicidal thoughts was also very important for me. Getting in touch with Gordon Moody via their website and then speaking to Amy from there over the phone gave me a plan and direction I had been unable to find myself for over 5 years.

Well done for taking a big first step and putting yourself out there.

Take in some of the advice you get over the coming days and think about some of the things i’ve said.

If you want any kind of future then the time to act is now. You can do this. You are not alone, but this could be the best thing you ever do!!

Good Luck

KStep

[kstep85]

Hola Exon, the one and only.

I’ve caught up with your journey and followed your posts lately bud and honestly you’ve got so much wisdom beyond your years. I envy your age and once you’re out the other side of all this you’ll be living the dream again for yourself and me.

We’re definitely on a journey of many ups and downs, good days and bad days but we’re committed to the journey and admitting the situation is he best thing we could have done.

The fact that you post on here with honesty, integrity and detail is to be commended and is all part of the necessary process. Getting things out there in any way shape or form, off your chest, out your mind is something that should only help and seems to be good for you. You sound like you’ve had some good and bad days for sure and some testing stuff with your immediate support network. Ultimately you’re heading to the right place now and the key will be the acces we get to professional help, people who understand and people who know what they are taking about. The average person and or friends / family / parents are not qualified to give us the support or advice that we need, they don’t have the tools to do so. Very few people will ever understand what all of this is like. That doesn’t make it any easier in the moment when you’re getting shit off your parents or not feeling supported.

Although GM feels like a while away, it will come and when it does and you get your head fully in the game and focus on the programme, I really do think you’re gonna fly mate. You’ve got wisdom and you will be able to use some of your anger and frustration along the way for the good of the treatment. It’s not selfish to initially concentrate on sorting your life out and making yourself happy, being happy in life is pretty much the main reason we’re here. Easier fucking said than done eh!!!?

Just try and stay on the right path as best you can. Stay gamble free and continue to eliminate your debts.

Stay safe but enjoy yourself within reason. Don’t get completely off your face 7 nights a week but definitely have a drink for me once a week until you start at GM.

Like you say, small prices to pay for the greater good.

I still wanna see the fight tho!!!!!

I’m doing well currently but the damage that I have already caused will take some serious fixing.

Look after yourself bro and hopefully see you soon. Look me ul when you get there.

KStep

[kstep85]

Indeed my friend. As Friday ends, 2 more days of family time remains before the real hard work begins.

Trying to look at it as an adventure starting with a 4hour train journey up to Dudley.

Ideally I was meant to get there between 10am and 1pm but the train prices were allover the place. The fairest deal got me a train which gets me there for around 1.20pm on Monday afternoon.

May sound like a silly question…..are you just literally taking clothes in? What kind of stuff you taking?

Hopefully we can do some fitness stuff and shed some pounds together. I’m 32 and I also need to sort my driving out. Maybe we can get our heads round some of that stuff together too.

We’ll get a good idea of what we can and can’t do over the first few days I guess.

Like you say, take each day as it comes and try and have as many good days as possible.

Will be good to meet you there mate and it’s cool we’re starting same time. I’ll try and support you where I can mate.

Have a good weekend and make the most of it.

KStep

[kstep85]

Appreciate it big man!! Very much looking forward to hopefully meeting you in Dudley.

What kind of interests, hobbies, sports etc you into mate?

We’ll keep eachother on the right path and motivate eachother aling the way. Gonna be some good and bad days, ups and downs. Unfortunately 14weeks away from my partner, there is going to be a highly frustrating lack of in and outs!!

We’re taking the right steps, just need to keep putting one foot infront of another and taking things one day at a time.

Have a top weekend Shaun mate.

Cheers for the support.
KStep

[kstep85]

Haha, It would be great if the beard brings some wisdom…..I sure could do with some.

6 weeks beard growth before I enter GM plus the 14 weeks in there. I may even come out of there with a sense of direction in terms of career and will be readily available for Viking or Wizard TV Extra roles.

Keep it simple is probably the most sound and important advice and has been added to my list thanks to you.

Keep doing what you are doing Vera, one day at a time.

For today I will not gamble, for today I will save my money and myself.

The weekend is upon us, my last weekend before heading off to Dudley. Hope you have a great weekend yourself.

KStep x

[kstep85]

Thanks again for the message and support.

As soon as I admitted the scale of the problem to my partner and also went to see my Doctor regarding some fairly regular thoughts about suicide it lifted a lot of the initial weight of worry from my mind and daily life.

Getting in touch with GM then followed and gave me a plan and sense of direction that I had been trying to gamble my way to. A gamble free life will actually very slowly allow me to get out of debt and eliminate the financial worries and depression that has ran alongside this for a number of years.

If you are a CG then simply put, it is impossible to fix things yourself without help from professionals or this kind of community. The average person and also family can’t understand things to the extent you nees them to.

Ever since I admitted things fully to my partner, family, registered with a doctor and applied for a place with GM…..I have become incredibly positive, motivated and have a sense of direction. It feels amazing!!!!! The journey is only just beginning and the hardest parts may be yet to come but I am ready.

Right now I am gamble free but only because I have no job, no money and i’m out of all sources of money and have debts and unpaid loans. If I was working and I got a wage I wouldn’t pay my debts, bills, even mortgage payments would be at risk. So although I am gamble free, this treatment is way overdue and I have a long way to go.

It is amazing how shallow your mind becomes in the thick of being a CG, it takes over everything, takes everything else away from you. It’s almost as if you lose complete grip of reality and the severity of your actions is not something you are aware of. You spend a lifetime not overpaying for food shopping, not going to a restaurant because the ￡20 steak is too expensive, not buying the nike trainers because ￡70 is crazy money for shoes. In one night, in your own house, staring into a mobile phone you lose ￡2000 in the space of a few hours.

I will definitely take this opportunity and hope you youself continue on this journey. I would hope there would be some kind of programme in Australia but may take some extensive research to try and find something. GM does seem like a special organisation for sure. Get yourself over here!!

I can’t promise I won’t get too hairy but it’s kind of a strange motivator for me that I will earn the right for the reward of shaving off a 14week beard upon completion of the programme. I already have 6weeks of beard to start me off.

I will post when I get out and will look to continue within this community.

I will make you proud.

Much Love
KStep x

[kstep85]

The countdown is on to my official start date at GM on 7th August. It’s all getting very real but i’m ready to give this 14 weeks my all and hope to change the course of my life to a gambling free one.

On my list of things to do throughout the course of my treatment:

– Not place a single bet the whole time i’m there
– Get fit and healthy and hopefully in some decent shape by regularly working out
– Start reading and getting into books
– Grow a beard for 14 weeks
– Make my family, friends and each and every member on this site proud of me.
– Give myself a future
– Meet some of you great people along the way and help and support eachother
– Hopefully somehow still catch the Mayweather v Mcgregor fight

I hope to meet many of you along the way and to come out of the other side knowing I gave it my all and to hopefully be gamble free.

Go forth and be strong people!!

For today I will not gamble, For today I will save my money.

KStep

[kstep85]

Just a quick message to say cheers again and I hope you had a decent weekend and today is the start of another positive week in general.

My partner and daughter are definitely my main motivation and a life to work towards and for myself it’s all about trying to be the best version of myself, finding myself again, taking more pride in myself…..I always use the term ‘Normal’, I just want to be more normal again. The addiction and depression take everything else away from you so i’m hoping this journey can gradually help eliminate the bad stuff and bring the positives back.

How are you getting on in general yourself?

If I don’t get to see the fight then you’ll have to tell me about it, you’ve definitely done well with your start date for that one. Obviously treatment is the most important thing, Boxing and MMA are just my fave sports to watch so if there was one thing I could watch while I was in there it would be that fight.

Anyway, I hope you’re doing well bud and this week is another good one overall. Keep up the good work of paying off debts, staying gamble free, stay safe and stay strong.

A gamble free life means we are winning.

KStep

[kstep85]

Hi Kev mate. Nice one, both starting at Dudley on 7th so we should be able to help eachother out along the way. We’ll try and see out the 14 weeks together this time then mate….obviously you had your reasons last time but it’s really good that you’ve committed to giving it another try and wanting to beat it once and for all.

I’ll see you real soon then bud. I’m actually really looking forward to it. I know it will be a really hard, gruelling journey, but it also feels like an adventure and if it goes well it could make a huge difference to our lives. Life will be good at the other side.

From your experience, are you literally in the place 24/7 or do you get some chances to go out? I’ve heard after a few weeks you get the chance to go do sport and stuff. What kind of stuff did you do to keep yourself entertained last time?

Stay strong, and lets give it our best mate

KStep

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