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Thanks Laura, yes I have had mood swings for sure, and I have not gone more then 3 months without gambling in 8 years, so when the 3 month mark hits I will be extra careful and celebrate the time with something positive! I am feeling good right now and I think the difference this time is ACCEPTANCE that I can not gamble responsible, I have given up the illusion that things will be different and each day does get easier.
My Mantra when a thought comes in my head about going to sit in front of a slot is “let it go and be free” I was never really free sitting in front of a machine, I was a slave to it…sometimes I actually get sick to my stomach when I think about the time and money spent, I am listen to my body this time!
I am grateful for all I have and a site like this to come too with great people like you Laura!
Thanks Laura, yes I have had mood swings for sure, and I have not gone more then 3 months without gambling in 8 years, so when the 3 month mark hits I will be extra careful and celebrate the time with something positive! I am feeling good right now and I think the difference this time is ACCEPTANCE that I can not gamble responsible, I have given up the illusion that things will be different and each day does get easier.
My Mantra when a thought comes in my head about going to sit in front of a slot is “let it go and be free” I was never really free sitting in front of a machine, I was a slave to it…sometimes I actually get sick to my stomach when I think about the time and money spent, I am listen to my body this time!
I am grateful for all I have and a site like this to come too with great people like you Laura!
For checking in Laura, I really appreciate it! I am doing well, no gambling still and I am grateful for that…my life has been very busy both at work and personal….but I know i have to be aware and that I can not fall into same old habits.i have had a few thoughts of gambling but so far I have been able just to say to my self, I don’t do that anymore as I know where it will lead me.
Velvet thanks for words of encouragement…still no gambling. Had a few thoughts, but the difference is I am not allowing them to take me over completely. I have let it go and surrender to fact I can not gamble responsible anymore!
Laura, you are so right, too often I never played the tape until the end and was fooled into thinking it would be different. I think it is so important to get some gamble free days built up so a person is stronger fighting the urges….thanks for the welcome too!
Sara I have been really busy at work but I know I need to keep up with posting and reading here or things will slip…yesterday was a reminder!
I never want to return to the hell again, onward and upwards today. I am out of the office today on a road trip to present to a group of physicians so should be a great day!
The longer we lay the beast to sleep, the weaker he becomes!!! Powerful statement and very true….got let it go and be free, thanks
Just about one month without gambling, and no urges until today….walking for my lunch break and out of the blue, thought enters my mind just go through in 20, I even looked in wallet to see how money I had on me, but then lucky for me a stronger voice said, Really don’t do it and the thoughts of what would happen entered my mind…I would have spent way more then 20, prob more like 500….and I would have been in there way longer then my hour lunch break, and the vivacious cycle would start again.
That’s all it takes for me, I have been done that track before and I know where it ends.
No gambling for me today, but it is an indicated I need to come here more and post and find another counsellor!
Don’t they say is the root of all evil? Not sure I agree with that, we need it live and survive. I think rewarding ourselves after a gamble free period is a good thing. In the past when I stopped, I would become so tight with my money and it would stress me out, money is like a current it comes and goes, this time I am going to have some fun with my extra money and not worry about it so much….of course after the bills are paid and groceries bought.
Way to go on your gamble free time I-did-it
Way to go alliesmum, 36 days is just great….everyday without gambling is a reason to celebrate!!!
Welcome spotter to this site, i have only been here for a few weeks and the support have been very good and just reading other people stories makes me feel like I am not alone and going crazy.
I at not sure what is involved with a job as a professional gambler but I am thinking it will be hard to keep this job if you really want to stop the complusions to gamble.
Where I work we are connected by a shopping mall and a casino and for 10 years I never stepped foot in the door and then after a few trips to Vegas, one day I went in and put in 20 and 8 years later I haven’t stopped. Lost so much money I didn’t keep track, but it’s more then that, I lost my concentration, didn’t perform as well at work, etc and I lost complete control when going in, one 20, turned into thousands of dollars.
I finally after fooling myself many, many times, have admitted I can not gamble responsible and I surrender and give up the fight to win any of my lost money back, it’s gone forever.
I told my husband and we made a plan together, I have gone to one counselling session. Just admitting it to someone and saying it out loud has helped me a lot.
If you really want to do it you can, but you have to do some hard work and make some changes in your life and really want to stop.
Gamble free, that is great! Sounds like things are better for you, baby steps and they way to go, I know for me every time on the past I have quit, I just went crazy trying to make everything better and fix all the things I neglected, but that didn’t help. Your right Sara 1000 baby steps can make an amazing change!
Thank you soooo much Velvet, Johnny and I Did it, I really respect and appreciate your comments and opinions. I did make another appointment with that counsellor and my husband is suppose to come…I am not sure if I will keep it, as I am look for someone with a background in addictions; this one didn’t have that.
I know that this forum is so valuable to me, because everyone on here can relate to each, our stories may have started different and we may bet by different means, slots, races, stocks, etc….but one thing is constant I feel, we lose control after that first bet is placed and we can’t stop until all the money gone and more!!! It is a vicious circle, win and then lose, go back for more, win BIG now and okay this is it, but no go back cause you think you are going to win more and then what do you know before you even realize you have lost it all again….I am so tired of the game, the ever ending suffering I put myself through.
Johnny, I can relate about self esteem and not caring, I was totally there, lieing to my husband, put 20 after 20 into the slots, zoned out to easy to pain! And well done on 5 months.
And yes I did it, the effects of gambling on me will prob take years to repair!
Velvet, I can tell from your comments you are a wealth of knowlegde so thanks for posting.
Thanks again!I know I need to continue with counsellling and all your kind comments have just reinforces it.
Thanks Sara, I wouldn’t just tell just any friend, this one is more like a sister to me and I trust her to keep what I tell her confidential….sorry to hear you have not had the same experience telling your friends.
I am feeling very peaceful right now and know there is so much more to life then gambling…I am not in denial anymore, I can not place that first 20 in that slot machine, because if I do I have no control, I will quickly be down thousands just like the last time I was in the casino 10 days ago. I have lost that money it’s gone never to be back in my bank account again. But I can rebuild and move forward.
Like I have heard from different people on here,
Onwards and upwards!!!
Thanks Sara for checking in, so I went to the counsellor, actually followed through. It was okay, for the 45 mins I was there, she told me twice about how she was addicted to smoking and compared it to gambling, did not find it useful at all. Some parts were okay, admitting it and saying it out lot that I have a gambling problem was good, but honestly after the sessions was over I had the biggest urge I have had in 10 days, but I didnt gamble!
I did book another session but not sure if I will go, talked with my husband and we made a really good plan of ensuring we have daily check ins and I am going to open up to my best friend, and I will keep posting here to gain the strength I need.
I know there are support group meetings on this site and I am going to join these as well.
I know I can never gamble again!