[lizbeth4]

Monica, I have been thinking about you a lot lately. I hope all is well with you. I’ve learned a lot from you and your journey.

[lizbeth4]

Hi Kathryn, It was so good to see you posting. Although I’m sad to hear that your Son is gambling, I’m so happy that he came to you and that you can help him! He is in good hands! He took the first step in admitting his problem and telling you and his Girlfriend.

You should be so proud of yourself. Being gamble free for so long. You give hope to everyone!

Whatever career choice you make, I know that you will be successful!!!!!

Enjoy your life! You deserve it!

[lizbeth4]

Hi. It’s been awhile since I last posted! I’m doing well! I’ve been gamble free! Sometimes it’s hard but my life is so much better without it!

I’m hiking twice a week. It’s nice to see the wildlife and the exercise is good for me. 8 to 10 miles total.
I have to push myself sometimes but I always finish the hike!

My garden is doing great! I’m anticipating fresh veggies!

I have a busy and fulfilling life without the gambling!

It’s been a long journey and I’m careful to not let my guard down. Don’t ever give up!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks cannon for your support! I’m not gambling. I’ve taken up hiking with my new neighbor. I hiked almost 4 miles yesterday! Quite a accomplishment for me.

Although my Daughters health issues haven’t changed and there’s no diagnosis yet and my Mother and I are still not communicating, I realize that nothing I can do will change these situations. Gambling is only punishing myself!

My financial situation is looking better. My bills are being paid and my loans and card balances are going down. I’m looking forward to getting a few small home repairs completed this summer!

But if I start gambling again, I’m at square one again! So, I keep busy. My yard looks wonderful. I’m on top of all the weeds and everything is blooming again! My veggie seedlings are doing well and in 1 month I’ll be planting my garden. Very exciting!

So, always look for positive things to fill your life with. Sitting in a casino or gaming online is not productive and takes years off of your life and joy!

Take care everyone!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Charles for your support! I haven’t gambled! I’m being proactive with my gambling problem. I’ve been able to get through the urges by reading self help books and finding things to keep me busy!
I’ve decided to go back to work part time once my Daughter finds out what is causing her health issue. I just finished my recertification as a caregiver. I found a agency here that will employ me when I’m ready.
I think one of the reasons that I gamble is that I have too much time on my hands. I don’t feel useful!
Today I paid off another loan. I also paid all of my bills for the month!
I’m starting my vegetable seedlings inside soon! I’m excited about that! I plan to have a larger garden this year!
I’m not giving up on myself! I can get through this!

[lizbeth4]

Hi. I haven’t posted for awhile. Honestly, things are not going well right now! I started gambling again! I had made progress paying off my debts and find myself racking up the credit card bills again!
It started when my oldest Daughter started having health issues and it looks like spine surgery is her only option. Both of her hands are partially paralyzed.
I’m having a hard time coping. Whatever the outcome, I have to deal with reality.
Today is the first day that I’m not gambling. I’ve been gambling, out of control a couple times a week.
Today I’m taking the steps to stop! I know what to do!!! I just need to stay strong and keep working on myself!
So, I believe in myself and I know that I can be gamble free again! I forgive myself but I don’t want to live the gambling life again.

[lizbeth4]

I haven’t posted for awhile! I’m doing well. Somedays are a struggle but I’m treking through then. For some reason the holidays are tough for me. But I’m determined to make this holiday a great one!

I’ve finished my Christmas shopping and I’ve put the tree up and decorated my home. A first for me to be this far ahead of Christmas day!

I’m going to my oldest Daughter’s house to celebrate Christmas this year!

I am meeting my sister today in a town between us for an early birthday lunch! UGH! I’m getting old. LOL!

Keep working on yourself! It’s never to late to change. Even though it’s difficult at times, YOU ARE WORTH IT!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Velvet for your supportive post! Although I’m not where I want to be in some aspects of my life, I’m still making progress!

I do have positives in my daily life! But when I was gambling, I could only see the negatives. A lot has changed in the way that I view life now! I’m a happier and more content person.

Falling down, picking myself up, repeat…. Moving forwards!!!! Never giving up on myself!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Kin for your support! Please don’t give up on yourself. I know it’s not a easy journey but have faith in yourself.
So, I still have my struggles with wanting to gamble. I don’t want to keep living in my addiction hole, feeling out of control. The worst is having no self respect for myself.

What keeps me moving forward:. Firstly, my Family and Friends. My debt is lessening and I will be nearly debt free soon. I feel good about myself. I’m planning a great exploration trip for next year!

I have found that if I just live for today and make it the best that I can, the gambling urges lessen.

I look for the positives and I’m forever grateful for all of the good in my life.

Don’t give up! Life is good!

[lizbeth4]

Thanks Kin for responding to my post. I read your posts also and I hope all is well with you.
I’m struggling today with the temptation of gambling ! Of course, money is tight but all bills are paid. I need to ride it out! I’m very close to having 3 large monthly bills paid off, 3 months to go! I know that I can do this! No more self sabotage.

I went to the city last week for my yearly cardiologist appt. Everything is good. I just need to continue my meds. It’s been 10 years since my heart attack and stent placement. I’m very thankful that I haven’t had any more issues.

I managed to have breakfast with a good friend after my appt. I saw both of my Daughters and my Granddaughter came home with me for a few days. Fun times!

I have a lot to be thankful for! I have to have faith in my self! I am the controller of how this plays out (gambling) in my life! I’ve got this.

[lizbeth4]

I’m still gamble free! My life is a little different as my Granddaughter lived with me for 2 years and now lives with her Mommy, 2 hours from me. It’s been quite an adjustment.
I’ve been quite busy! I’ve been completing a few home projects. My home and yard are looking really good.
I’m walking every morning and I’m losing weight and feeling much healthier!
My Daughters and Grandchildren are doing well. My Grandson just started his 2nd year of high school and just got his drivers permit. I’m getting old. LOL! My Granddaughter’s pre kindergarten school was just shut down due to Covid. Thank goodness that my Daughter can work from home.
I feel like I’m in a good place right now! I keep busy doing productive things. I’m not wasting my time sitting in a casino.
Life is good!

[lizbeth4]

Hi. Congratulations on your new Grandbaby! It’s great to hear that all is well with you!
Wow, 12 years gamble free! That’s something to be proud of.
I’m expecting another lock down as we are experiencing another wave of Covid cases. UGH! It’s not easy to deal with but we will get through it.
It was good to see a update from you as I don’t visit this site often.
Take care and thank you for being a inspiration for me.

[lizbeth4]

Hi, You should be proud of yourself. You are taking the steps to get help with your gambling and debts. It’s never easy to tell are loved one about our addiction.
Stop beating yourself up. I think you are very brave. Everyone makes mistakes. It doesnt take long to get into gambling related debt but just be patient and diligent. You can repay it!
I’m sure your vacation was good for You! You can do this! Stay strong.

[lizbeth4]

Hello all, It helps me to continue journaling here! To put my thoughts down and to be able to come back and reread.

My life continues to be good. I am well. My Daughters and Grandchildren are doing well. I just had my Granddaughter this last weekend. My Grandson starts his 2nd year of high school next week!

I have made a big decision in my life, for now, I’ve cut my Mother out for the time being. If you have read my posts, our relationship is very toxic. I won’t get into the specifics but I can’t tolerate the verbal, mental abuse anymore. The non accountability on her part is too much to deal with.

Please do not judge! It was a hard decision to come to but for my mental well being, I felt it was a wise decision.

I’m gamble free but still struggle from time to time. My debts are being paid and I’m seeing progress. Slow bit sure!

I’m a survivor, in many ways! I’ll go down fighting! So, don’t give up! Keep dusting yourself off and continue on your journey. One day at a time!

[lizbeth4]

The fires around where I live are under control and almost contained. Few structures were lost. No fatalities. A lot of beautiful forests were lost plus wildlife! Very sad!

As for myself, I’m not where I had planned on being at this year financially. My travel plans are on hold!

I had a few household emergencies and a few car repairs that have set me back! I have a few home projects that need to be completed this year.

I did have a gambling slip also this year. I felt discouraged about it but got back on my recovery road

My debts are not paid off yet. I’m not quite where I thought that I would be. I’ve made a budget and plan on working hard the rest of this year to whittle down my debt.

My reward will be a nice vacation next year. I will be traveling to a place in the U.S. that I haven’t been to. I’ll be doing some hiking and group excursions. I’m very excited!

I have nothing to complain about. I feel like I am blessed! My kids and Grandkids are doing well. My health is great. Life is good!

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