[marcusmaximus]

Good work the spam has now gone, thanks if that was you Dunc.
Makes the forum a lot easier for me. The random posts just turned me right off.

[marcusmaximus]

Hi Kin
Keep going, you are nearly at the end of the month !
Best wishes

[marcusmaximus]

Things are going ok really though I am pretty skint right now as been smashed with some house repairs and other bills.
Still at least I am not gambling, been about 14 months free of that curse now.
Trying to change the patterns in my life. I get too stuck in old ways. One of which was always to end up returning to gambling.
Right now I am trying to think differently, make better decisions.
I am choosing new things to do and new ways to go about things. Hopefully this is starting to create new behaviours and give me different experiences.
Looking to leave most of the “old me” behind, take forward what was good, carry the scars to remember the mistakes and guard against that horrible word called complacency.
Onwards and upwards, one day at a time.
Best wishes.

[marcusmaximus]

Hi asdfghost
You can turn things around. Try and keep your mind off gambling, as soon as a little urge comes along do something else quick – even if it is taking a cold shower.
Put up good barriers like gamban on whatever devices you may use, self exclude from any casinos etc.
Just take things hour by hour then day by day. It soon mounts up.
Sounds like you are young? You can save a lot more of wasted time and money if you can quit right now.
Best wishes

[marcusmaximus]

Hi asdfghost
Hope you are doing ok? I agree with the wasteland comment. Sorry to hear there has been a problem with Kin’s thread too. I have taken much inspiration in reading that thread and exchanging well wishes.
The moderation on this site does need to be quicker. I suppose I get it that people place random stuff but it shouldn’t remain for over a week.
I have used the site for over a year now and have fortunately remained gamble free. Posting in my journal and reading other posts was particularly important in the first few months. I don’t post so much now as I feel I am in a better place, not complacent, I still read other posts and my own previous posts to stay “grounded”.
For me it is a shame that the group chats ended too. I miss the wise words of Charles.
Best wishes to all.

[marcusmaximus]

Thanks for your message Kin. Hope you are doing ok. Yes still trying to stay focussed. Nearly into May now !!! Can’t believe it.
Keeping busy and keeping my mind occupied which helps. But trying to learn how to chill out from time to time too – without thinking about gambling – so watching a film, listening to music, just trying to be mindful and take everything in.
Thinking about how I live my life in general. If I was fed up I gambled, If my self esteem was low I gambled, If something had wound me up I gambled. So trying to develop a better mindset and look after myself a bit more.
If I am feeling better about things hopefully I will make better decisions.
Right now my decision is not to gamble today.
Tomorrow I repeat that decision.
All the best wishes.

[marcusmaximus]

Hi Kin
Good to hear that you are doing good and getting closer to your goal.
Many thanks for your kind words and advice. Yes, I will make sure I DO NOT GET COMPLACENT. It is well worth highlighting that for me.
Complacency has undone me before. I told myself I had stopped but I had not put good barriers in place and kind of always thought I could go back to gambling in a controlled way.
Now I know I simply cannot gamble in a controlled way, I AM A COMPULSIVE GAMBLER.
Things are going ok. One day a time.
Best wishes. Let us keep making the right choices.

[marcusmaximus]

Hi Kin
Hope you are doing ok buddy?
Keep going on the good path, we will all deviate a bit in recovery, guess that is normal.
Like you said we are work in progress. We need to keep learning about ourselves and how to deal with life! If we keep doing this, keep trying we will find a way.
One day at a time I tell myself every morning, will need to do that forever now.
There are a few odd looking posts on this site lately? Puts me off a bit.
Take care, stay strong.

[marcusmaximus]

Hi Kin
Hope you are doing ok buddy?
I think we have to see any relapse as part of the “journey”.
We have to try and learn from it, dust ourselves off and keep trying to quit.
I do believe that if we really want it enough that we can stop.
Best wishes, keep going, one day at a time.

[marcusmaximus]

Hi Kin and Don
Many thanks for your well wishes. Best wishes coming back to you both.
I feel after 1 year that I am coming out “into the light”. Out of a black hole of thoughts dominated by gambling.
My life is no bed of roses, there are lots of things to sort out. But my mind is clearer to deal with life and what it can throw at you.
Gambling is just another problem we inflict on ourselves methinks.
Why would I now re-enter the black hole????
Best wishes to all.

[marcusmaximus]

Hi Kin
Many thanks for your encouragement!!
Yes, March 27th. One year gamble free for me.
Things have got better since I quit gambling that is FOR SURE.
I would like to encourage anybody else who may read this post it can be done. If I can do it from the point I was at then ANYONE can.
I also know my work is far from complete and infact it won’t ever be complete. I still will need to keep my guard up and continue to work on myself and my behaviours.
As compulsive gamblers I have come to the conclusion that we must eventually face the facts.
We cannot control our gambling so we must STOP.
NEVER place the first bet.
There is NO such thing as a fun bet for us.
Further gambling will only make things WORSE.
On the plus side. There is so much more time to focus on positive things and our relationships with others. To get back to enjoying life without being distracted.
It is SO much better.
Best wishes.

[marcusmaximus]

Hi CraigMac
There is a better life waiting for you without gambling.
Gambling weighs us down.
Stay strong, learn from mistakes, move forwards. You can do it buddy.
Start afresh, small steps you will get your better life and be the best version of you.
Take care and best wishes.

[marcusmaximus]

Hi Don, CraigMac, Patrick, Kin
Thanks for your posts.

I like your line on keeping 100% of the money you do not gamble with Don.
For me I try and concentrate so much on avoiding any opportunity to place the dreaded first bet. Win or lose it doesn’t end well. Just keep what we have, sounds so simple really !!!!

Hey CraigMac, good to see you posting again. Keep fighting this addiction, there can be a way out, stay positive.

Patrick, we do get drawn into this horrible addiction. There are things we can all do to stop. Using blockers such as gamban, self excluding, blocking bank cards, handing over finances for starters. Then look at what triggers the gambling and try and avoid those situations. Do positive things with your time, seek counselling, join a Gamblers Anonymous. There are many things but I have found being 100% committed to stopping, staying positive, strong and taking things one day at a time have helped me immensely.
Reading other posts on here is also really helpful. I would recommend that you start your own “thread” on here. That way more people may correspond with you.

Hey Kin, hope all is good with you. Keep fighting the good fight. One day at a time.

So another week goes by. Really proud of myself that despite temptation I DID NOT gamble at the Cheltenham Festival.
March 27th is 1 year gamble free for me. I am nearly there. Eat, sleep, do positive things, repeat.
Best wishes all.

[marcusmaximus]

Hi Don
Yes, we have to avoid that first bet. We are compulsives and unfortunately we have to accept that if we place a bet we cannot control the consequences.
I have done a lot of thinking about my own gambling.
Fundamentally I was not happy or content. My self esteem was low, I was often looking at what others had or what they were doing,
Also I have a poor relationship with money. I can be scrooge like one minute then reckless the next??? I had thoughts money would make me happy. I had wins but it didn’t make me happy.
Look at some lottery winners, they have relationship problems, drug/alcohol issues and are sometimes back to square one soon enough.
Money helps in life for sure. Paying the bills and buying nice things. But it does not guarantee happiness.
I gambled out of boredom, to seek some excitement too. I need to get my “kicks” elsewhere.
So now I am on a quest to find true happiness and contentment.
There are many good things in my life, I need to be grateful for those. I need to be grateful for the simple things in life.
Looking more closely at betting being a situation that we are sucked into and can be tormented. Sometimes if I won I still was not happy because I would think I should have put more money on that or got better odds!! If I lost I would chase, chase, chase to get it back.
Winning made me greedy, seeking another high sometimes too. Chasing losses made me totally obsessed.
If I am even thinking about placing a bet now I come on here and post myself, read what I have written previously or look at other posts.
Best wishes.

[marcusmaximus]

Another week or so goes by.
Getting more organised with moving forwards.
Better with managing my time again. Not being so distracted by thoughts of gambling and the damage it has done.
I will admit that some thoughts about gambling have popped up this last week. Here in the UK we have the Cheltenham horse racing festival next week. This is an event that has always previously dominated my thoughts. I have taken time off from work to watch it before, made time when at work to watch races before etc….
This year I intend things to be different.
1. I have identified it as a major trigger and distract myself when thoughts do creep in
2. I am avoiding sports websites, newspapers etc
3. A plan is in place to keep myself busy next week
One bet, if successful would lead to another, then another ….
One bet, if it is a loser would lead to another then another
Avoid, avoid, avoid. I am a better man without gambling.
One day at a time, best wishes.

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