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Well large meal last night and tummy pain from it but I overate. I slept for 20 hours. Does anyone else get sleeping sickness when the autumn equinox comes along? This afternoon I have spent on line supporting two members who have relapsed, one of whom has hit their personal rock bottom. Another on line friend who is usually very strong in abstinence has emotional difficulties with their family and has urges. The rock bottom I have directed to Gordon moody as GA too far to travel and does not drive. Shame that GA can be a little too geographically spread out. Gambling is the devil On our shoulder that knows only destruction, maybe not now but it is patient and bides it’s time each relapse taking us further down. Not for me, not for today. No more sad stories
You are not alone I did it. We are all battling with this insidious addiction. What happened? I am glad there was someone from GA to call.
Yes I think you are right. Some of the new age teachers I learned from actually hurt me quite a bit and no healing came from it. One told me I had committed suicide in a past life which was a headf……..for a long while. Ended up very disillusioned. So it is simply and powerfully Jesus now. Just like Doreen virtue who has denounced all her old teachings and converted to Christianity.
Yes I think you are right. Some of the new age teachers I learned from actually hurt me quite a bit and no healing came from it. One told me I had committed suicide in a past life which was a headf……..for a long while. Ended up very disillusioned. So it is simply and powerfully Jesus now. Just like Doreen virtue who has denounced all her old teachings and converted to Christianity.
Yes I think you are right. Some of the new age teachers I learned from actually hurt me quite a bit and no healing came from it. One told me I had committed suicide in a past life which was a headf……..for a long while. Ended up very disillusioned. So it is simply and powerfully Jesus now. Just like Doreen virtue who has denounced all her old teachings and converted to Christianity.
Hi all
I have spent a lot of time reading everyone’s threads and journals today and just wanted to comment on Project 60. I was a late starter to gambling when life had become difficult and unbearable. I was 54 and have been addicted for five and a half years. I am now broke, unemployed and trying to save myself from homelessness. I am 60 in 2 months so I will have to have project 66, the retirement age in the Uk. Having been to Step change four months ago when working, I know that it it will take three years of huge monthly payments to get clear. This in part triggered my last relapse as I knew it was undoable and who wants to work all the way until retirement just to payoff huge debts. I think I can take some courage from Vera who is doing just this i.e. Retirement fund replacement. The small pension I was due went on gambling earlier this year and will need replacement. Who knows what the future holds. I know it will get better by not gambling even if the way out of all this debt right now seems insurmountable. I have been close to bankruptcy a number of times while gambling. My niece and sister have both been bankrupt so at least keepingitinthe family. Bankruptcy however means I can no longer work in my profession which is why a big part of me still wAnts to pay off the huge debt I have accumulated. I had alternative new age hobbies that I could have turned into a business but none of these delivered on their promise and I see many unhappy people with unhappy lives who put their trust in healers, alternative therapists etc who ended up with nothing but heartache. So, my alternative career has gone and I now need to rediscover other pursuits. I think only through Jesus will I be able to live each day. All of my dreams and hopes are gone, and I am not really sure what will replace them. Difficult when you no longer believe in the things you used to as this is what I was going to do in the later stages of my life.Well, have been fighting off depression over my situation. My eldest son rang and said he would send my middle son round to pay 200 pounds off my rent arrears but not to me but directly to my landlord. My middle son was the one that spent the money I gave him when I was working. He has paid most of it back and the rest he is unable to payback. He explained that business has been very quiet and he had been having a losing streak and owed the poker club a few hundred. Concerned about his gambling. He believes he has control. He is meeting a young man similar to him shortly who has made a lot of money from an app he invented when he was eleven. My son was quite embarrassed because he is very smart and does the same profession. Whilst my son is broke this youn manis making shedloads of money and is much younger than y sons thirty three years. I rang my landlord who said they would not action the court until 3rd Octoberwhen I should receive my first benefit payment. That was somewhat of a relief. Trickles of hope and movement. Went to GA this evening which was a strength and hope meeting. Only female tonight. One of the older members spoke about his days in prison and his obsession with gambling having been brought up wit it since a child. There are a lot of these older guys who have been in and out of prison because of gambling. Got my thirty day gambling free pin tonight. Not as well attended as usual this evening maybe because of the tube bombings. God be with all the injured and their families.
Another quiet day today slept for long periods. Was ina bit of what i call a therapy fog from yesterdays GA meeting. I had been having some memories come to consciousness of my fathers physical and emotional abuse when I was a child. I had dealt with this many years ago and had forgiven him particularly after he passed in 2006. But these memories came to mind yesterday which I guess is part of the healing
Process. We had a GA session last week on the link between pain and spiritual growth. Met with my sponsor before the GA step 4 meeting yesterday. A number of people at the meeting including my sponsor were going through something. The speaker had attempted suicide with enough pills to kill an an elephant and was in a coma for days and left with a permanent disability because of it. I resonated with the deep place of pain that this addiction can leave you with where suicide seems tobetheonlyoption. Part of my addiction was fuelled by having had quite a painful life and wanting an end to that. My sponsor said to me that suicide is a choice. I chided him today and said never that to someone who is suicidal. I myself a wondering how long I will be in the purgatory I am in now and the message I got was that all things pass andnothing is permanent which I am holding on to. I am Ok in myself, still tired somewhat, but free of pain which is good,Hi Jappy799. you are in the right place. Youth is on your side. This addiction will just get worse and worse. It does not get better and we are fooling ourselves if we ever think we can ever gain any control over it. The first step is to tell someone and admit that we are powerless over gambling and that our lives have become unmanageable. I am now 30 days i to recovery and this addiction has taken me to destitution. compulsive gamblers never win and if you think it is bad now, keep going and each time you have a big blowout how we feel just gets worse and worse until we make the decision that we really no longer want to feel like this and stop. Compulsive gamblers never win. A big win is always a loss.
Hi Vera/all
Yes, my day was not that productive either. I woke up quite tired and slept till 12. Took my ex partners dog for a walk which I dont do that often and he dragged me all round the park chasing squirrels. Rang my sponsor and was invited to a step 4 meeting tomorrow evening which I will go to. Yes, Vera it is on YouTube just google GA speakers. It was an American guy and the well know British ex soldier who hit the newspapers with his story. Tomorrow day 30. One day at a time.I was also a Vip on a number of sites. Just for me I used to call it very idiotic person! It keeps its hooks in you that way. We are a VIP because we are giving them loads of our money for nothing!
Completely agree with Vera. I have met some wonderful and sensitive people in GA. Many addicted people are what I would call great souls. I am finding GA incredibly hopeful and supportive. I am waking up to myself. Some of what we look at isn’t pretty but I am glad to have the opportunity to look at it without fear.
Well done for going to GA. I was at rock bottom 4 weeks ago when I went. Still have same issues and problems caused by gambling but I have found true fellowship there and I feel differently to how I did. Keep posting about your journey I did it.
Hi, we have insomnia in common then Vera. Today I spoke to my sponsor this morning, who recommended watching GA speakers which I did. This was inspiring and funny. This afternoon I did a course in discipleship with feedback from a coach. I am finding in Jesus hope and regaining my strength. The old life had to go and be reborn again. There was just too much pain and crap in it. The meds have kicked in quickly and I no longer have pain after I eat.