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Thank you.. Im asking my self more and more what I want from life and why I had to learn that hard in past. And where I should be in future. Last year was the darkest in my nearly whole life. I tried to change a few things in my life, but it all broke down. For what is this happening?
The last half year many Problems came over me. Im feeling so bad at the Moment, Never felt so Bad in my whole life. Can you Tell me about the Lifestyle you follow, that I Can try it too?
Dear Kin, I have struggled a lot last year and a few days ago ive started reading a book with the explanation why I have all this dysregulation in my bodysytem, an why a cant live a normal life. The ?Polyvagaltheory“ (dr. Steven Porges) tells the reason why people cant deal with stress. Our System never has learned to self regulate. Now I know where I have to start when I want to create a real change.
Dear kin, hope you doing well.. Last Night my House burns and all people need to run trough the Fire. It was so terrible to watch this scene from outside. All my Money and stuff inside, and not knowing if they get save or not. In the end they get the flames down. The neighbour House is totaly burnt down.. its Like a Wonder my flat has no Problems today, and I can stay in it..
Hi kin, hope you feel good. Ive got a lot of stress at the moment. I ve started an education over the next 3 jears for psychological advice, at the same time I do drivers school- what stresses me also a lot and at least I left my flat and changed to another all in the last month. The last two days I recogniced that I wanted to look for casino offers, god thanks that the ?stopgamble“ App has blocked that try of mine. Pressure is high in my head at the Moment. Last gambling was when I wrote my First topic here.
Thank you for reading, SarahDear Kin ?? I’m so busy with all possible kinds of things (not gambling). Every day is full with social activities, learning, and other beautiful things. It feels like my life has just really started and the first time I’m really living.
How do you do?My life has changed so drastically, and it has got so powerful in every aspect. To stop gambling was the best decision I’ve ever made. Just to come back here and say that everything is fine. Great thanks to everyone in this journal
Dear Kin, I‘m glad to have you in my back as an companion during my journey through recovery ??
Great thank you, I have so many things to do at the moment. Ive started the education- it’s absolutely perfect. Hope you also have a good time ????
Dear Kin, do you know about the ?Ex-In“ education?
I heard from that a few months ago, it is for people who had psychological disorders, addiction is one of them- the education is about a year long and you can work in mental health clinics or other help institutions as a kind of social worker called ?recovery companion“. In UK this is a popular education I’ve heard, in Germany and Switzerland and Sweden also. It’s relatively new, this program exists about 15 years now. Could you imagine to do something like that? I believe you might be a good candidate for something like that ??I thought about you and your topics, the description of my behavior reminded me of you and yours during the writing. You are a great teacher in recovery process, just because you know so much about it.
To resist this pressure in one moment or part of time, saves so many other parts of your life.
Loose money means that you loose chances and possibilities for a good life. You need money for so many things and activities, which give you quality in your life.
Gambling is the most expensive addiction to have. No drug addiction will cost you so much money. Drugs and gambling are full with dark energy- cause lifes get destroyed and you want to win what someone else has to loose. You want to profit from other people’s damage. That’s very dark. Always when I went to a casino to a slot machine, my hope was, that the guy who was sitting there before had lost all his money at this machine, and when I go there maybe that money comes back to me.
Egoism at it’s purest form. Often I really hated other people when they won the money I lost before.
Sometimes I had bad thoughts about robbing them when they go out. That’s such a weird feeling to have when you’re not a person who sees brutal behavior as an option in your normal behavior.
but gambling brings you down to that point, to the darkest place in yourself. Maybe it’s an opportunity to realize that everyone can think or even do dark things when the situation is right (wrong?).
Facing the own shadows is needed, that you don’t think that you are a better human than others. Maybe everyone could be a murderer if the situation includes all needed aspects.That’s how therapy works- self reflection. But the therapy hasn’t started here, it was a long process of getting to the point where self reflection is possible to do.
The long time before that, it was just watching myself while I’m running through these patterns again and again. It often felt like an impossible mission to get out of this addiction.
Until the point where I thought, if I couldn’t change my behavior I’ll end my life sooner or later.
But maybe that’s where you have to get- so that you have nothing to loose anymore- just to win your life back. That’s all you need.I didn’t realize the worth of the ?simple“.
I always thought ?simple“ is not enough. Getting over this fallacy is my biggest win I might have until the end of this life. I’m happy to have it now.All pressure is written off me, work is done. Thanks for reading ??