[Simon15]

Hi kpat,
You’re right, there’s a difference between abstaining and recovering. Perhaps if we realise we are vicitms (such as the victim of a robbery, which might be a good analogy), whilst still acknowledging responsibility for our actions, then that is part of the psychological key. We don’t ‘abstain’ from being attacked, we recover from it. If gambling still seems pleasurably at some level, like the temptation of a drug or sex, then we are in a very different place from that of a real victim. It’s interesting in popular psychology that we are often told to stop being a victim, but at times that’s exactly what we are, and we should at least acknowledge that but not get hung up on it or obsessed with the thought, as that could drag us down too. Detachment is something needed here, and seeing ourselves through the eyes of others.
I hope all this makes some kind of sense, I am trying not to waffle! To answer your question, the reason I went back after 6 months was that I still had money problems and I somehow part of me still believed that I could solve them by gambling. Of course it just made things worse. Right now, at this point, I’m actually feeling grateful for having been through these things, as I have definitely learned a lot about life and a lot about myself as a result, although I realise this feeling might seem foolish or dangerous to some. However, it is what it is, and I can see many things much more clearly now.

Keep going, watering the good fruit, letting the rotten stuff die away for good!
Simon

[Simon15]

Hi there, I’ve just been reading some of your thread and I can see there’s a real battle going on with you and your family, which is mostly spiritual it seems. You’re right of course, gambling is totally selfish in nature, and doesn’t allow us to ever feel we have enough or to be grateful. Not only should we think of others more, but we should also think of all the good things in our own lives with gratitude, as this will feed the good things rather than the bad. I know you know all these things, but as with all of us, it’s good to keep being reminded of the truth.
God bless you and best wishes for the future, for yourselves and all those around you, remember that with God anything is possible. Have faith.
Simon.

[Simon15]

Thank you Kin for posting those stories. I read them and found them very encouraging.

One of the things I think about a lot is the need to work, help others, and sometimes the need to be more lazy and selfish. I guess we all have this kind of dynamic in some way, but obviously it’s the lazy and selfish times that need to be treated with caution. If we have some time alone and with no pressing responsibilities (or none that we care to notice at that time), then what do we do with the time? Obviously watching a movie or reading a book, even playing a video game could all be fun. So why have the desire to gamble? It’s just illusion. There are two main things: first, we might really believe it will help us financially, although as we all know the opposite is true, either immediately or longer term. Secondly, we might have a sense of pleasure, ‘relaxation’ or excitement that watching TV or playing a just-for-fun game wouldn’t give us. And yet the only difference is that money is involved with gambling, and often very large amounts. So although we might not think of ourselves as greedy people, it could be that greed is underneath these impulses. Just because we’re broke it doesn’t mean we can’t be greedy. That’s just my thought for the day. I hope you’re all doing OK and seeing hope for the future now.

[Simon15]

Thanks for starting this thread, it’s really interesting and I want to take part here. As someone who really should not be a gambler (yes, that’s probably all of us I know), I have long been fascinated by people who make their living from poker and gambling of all kinds, especially when you see poker stars treated like rock stars and apparently having a great life. They also write compelling books and interesting interviews about their lives. But that’s an interesting parallel for me, because as someone who has a talent for music and writing, I have long been suspicious of fame and fortune. I have met plenty of successful yet unhappy actors and musicians, who never seem to have enough in life. Perhaps it’s not just money or gambling that we’re all talking about here, but something else more important. Perhaps we sometimes use games and gambling as a way of avoiding looking at who we really are and finding out what we should be doing with our time. The whole messed up psychology of gambling addiction, when money just isn’t real anymore and we just play with numbers, is something we all can recognise now. I recently had another attack of gambling, but my numbers are nowhere near yours. However, it’s no less important. The psychology is the same. Every day we can choose to spend hours playing a ‘game’ in isolation, or connect with people we love (or find people we could know and love), in productive and life-enhancing ways. Ultimately I want to help people in this life, so when I win at poker who am I helping? Maybe myself for a while, maybe my banker, but certainly not the guy who lost or anyone associated with him. It’s always win-lose, whereas to live a good life we should be looking for win-win situations (eg. building a good career, inventing something useful for humanity, caring for or teaching others etc.) I know I have rambled on, but I want to wish you well and hope you have a flash of insight which really brings positive results in your life and enhances the lives of everyone around you for the better.

Best Wishes,
Simon.

[Simon15]

Hi, I’ve been catching up with your story and just wanted to say well done for how clearly you’re thinking through everything now. It’s obvious you’ve made great steps forwards and are leaving the past behind more and more with each passing day. Courage is the thing we all need to escape from our weakness, and you obviously have a lot of courage which inspires us all to find the same. Keep at it and best wishes for the future. Exciting times!

[Simon15]

Hi Adam, It sounds like you’re well on the right path. Just stay on it, enjoying every day as you learn more about the possibilities in life. Nothing could be so miserable as being a slave to putting futile hopes in machines/sporting events/table games etc. etc. Choose a productive and happy life instead. That’s what I’m doing as well by the way, and I know it’s not always easy, but it’s worth it.

[Simon15]

Seri, I joined here recently and just read some of your posts. Your weekend sounds fantastic! Even if I had a billion pounds I couldn’t think of a better plan. Enjoy!

[Simon15]

Hi, thanks for such an honest and open account of your problems. I just wanted to mention that many of us on here are older and have different perspectives and experience. The money you lost seemed like a lot, but there is no limit to how much money someone can make and how much someone can lose. Consider this: how would you feel if you made ￡100 million and then gambled it away and later became ￡100 million in debt? These are the sorts of things that can happen when people don’t get control of destructive habits, and that’s when you get major banks and even countries collapsing. Stay strong and realise that our actions affect not just us, but everyone around us and also people we haven’t even met yet (perhaps someone very important that we would hate to lose, like a future partner or wife). I hope these comments are helpful. Keep up the good fight – the fight against the personal demons, not against the games ??

[Simon15]

Wow, that’s a really great poem. Thank you.

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