[Smee707]

Our stories are very similar.

I love poker, I’ve played since I was 18 and got a ￡10k win when I turned 23.
My problem only started this year. I lost my ￡40k savings when I discovered online blackjack. I just kept piling money into the site in some strange desperate attempt to win back ‘my’ money.

The unbelievable thing is that using the last of my money I actually won back ￡35k over a two week period. I then lost it all in one night trying to reach that ‘break even’ mark. Whether I would have stopped at ￡40k I will never know.

It is horrible having to face family and friends the days after losing that much money. Ive done it twice now and I wasnt myself for a good month while this was going on.

This all happened at the same time I got a new job in London. For the last 4 months I have been working hard to make sure I can pay my rent (which is nearly 4 times what I used to pay) and not get into debt.

I have no savings and cannot do the things I want to because online gambling as crippled me. I still play poker, maybe once or twice a week but I stay well away from blackjack and I think you should do the same before you get into the same mess.

Please dont kid yourself into thinking that you wont lose all your money, I am the most financially aware person and its a disease that grabs hold of you. Before I knew it I had nothing left. Stop now and live a normal life, dont get into a position where you cant enjoy things in life. Even though you have lost a lot, you still have plenty left to do what you wish with. Dont do what I did. Dont wait until you cant afford to gamble to realise that it is a problem.

Smee

[Smee707]

I have read through your full thread today and just wanted to introduce myself and join you as we both fight this disease. Unlike most my problem has only been around for 4 months. But in the last 4 months I have completely ruined my life.

I played online blackjack every now and then and would walk away when up ￡20 or down ￡20 until one night when I emptied my bank account on one of the sites. I was down ￡20k and continued over the next few days to withdraw my ISAs and savings. I won back all my losses and still continued to throw it all back into the sites which were just taking advantage of my disease.

I moved to London and got ￡2.5k for selling my car. Money which I promised myself i would keep as an emergency fund to cover rent and stuff. This weekend, I don’t even know how it started, I lost it all. I have no money and will be waiting for pay day to pay my rent and buy food.

I’ve gone from being 25 and having ￡50k savings, a degree and a good job. To this broke guy who doesn’t want to go out and socialise anymore. I’m terrified of telling my mum because she has worked so hard for her money and would be so disappointed.

I wil keep revisiting this post and hopefully together we can remain gamble free and enjoy the rest of our lives. I think we both have to accept that life won’t be great for the next 1 or maybe 2 years because of our finances. But if we act now we can make sure the rest of our lives are enjoyable and happy.

Smee707

[Smee707]

Hi maverick. I remember how useful your comments were before. It really helped me get through a crappy time in my life.

This time I am back and I have told myself I have to stop completely. If I don’t stop I’m going to keep going until I have a huge amount of debt and am homeless.

Today I stop gambling once and for all. I just need to figure out how to get myself out of the financial mess I’ve created now

[Smee707]

Thank you for your help Charlster.

It pains me to know that anyone has been in this position before. I cannot stop thinking about how I was given my chance to get out when I won all my losses back and I didn’t even take it.

I cannot speak to the landlord. Typical London landlord will not like any excuses not to pay. The only person I have to talk to is my mum but I think I would rather take out a loan and deal with my problems myself. She would be so upset, she values her money and has saved religiously for my and my brother to lead happy lives. I couldn’t tell her that I had blew it all.

I am lost for words, I told one of my friends but they just tell me what I already know. That I’m an idiot.

A broke idiot now.

[Smee707]

Things are worse than ever.

I have just spent my next months rent. I have no way of paying this as I don’t get paid till next month.

I am looking at loans at the moment and thinking about how in 3 days I have gone from ￡3800 to literally ￡0.00.
My life is so fucked up.

[Smee707]

Thank you guys.
I really appreciate your positive responses.

I find it so hard every day, realising how much money I had and now don’t have. Realising how I can’t do the things I want to do.

2 weeks ago I thought I had ruined my life, I still had ￡10k but that seemed like nothing.

Now I have ￡1,000 and just realise how pathetic and miserable my life is and my future will be.

[Smee707]

I was so happy for the past 2 weeks, I hadn’t gambled and had a plan to move to London in May so was saving up money.

Last night, I dont even know why, I opened up the blackjack table again. I wont ￡500 and left, only to come back an hour later and lose everything I have.

I lost the last ￡10k I had to my name, I now dont know how I am going to pay the deposit on the flat in London and feel like my life is pretty much over.

I was so happy for the past 2 weeks, thinking each day that I have gotten over my losses and have stopped gambling. Now I just feel like lifes biggest loser.

[Smee707]

Hey guys,

Thank you all so much for your replies.

Somehow, after 4 days of pain I feel normal again, I’m back at the gym and I can actually talk to people at work again. My head feels in a safe place and I think I can get on with my life.

I know what I’m faced with, I need to stop, I still have enough money to enjoy life. My problem is that I cannot forget that money I lost , I wanted to buy a house and go on holiday.

People I’m around speak about losing ￡30 on a football bet and I can’t bare to tell them my story and how
Lucky they are its only a small amount.

Does anyone have any tips for how to forget about the money, I am convinced to work hard at work and hopefully follow my plans of moving to London. I want to use this lesson to turn my life into what I want it to be. I just think in the back of my mind the ￡20k will always be there and I want it back.

Thanks,

[Author]

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