[Steven187]

I think you are getting some good advice, but the reality (as you are fully aware), is that it’s only you who can sort it.
I don’t think any of this is easy, but its definitely simple.

I’ve lost ￡90,000 in less than a year. ￡70,000 was savings and ￡20,000 in winnings. I attended GA for a while and was told that the amount I’ve lost doesn’t matter, I’ll try and remember that the next time I go to buy a house! I understand the logic that the money is gone either way.

From a financial aspect, gambling makes loads of sense right now, but it would be a disaster. I’ll carry the scars of what I’ve gone through forever, but the reality, which is more important than any amount of money, is that I’ve came out the other side. In order to stop gambling, I had to admit that I was addicted. It was only after being honest with myself and eventually my family that I could address the problem and deal with it.

Everyone will deal with it in a different way and you have to find what’s right for you and go with that. I found GA really helpful to begin with, but was a bit cliquey and in the end not really for me.

You talk about chasing losses. You know if you get level, you’ll gamble again, so why bother? Keep your money, the bookies have enough!

Keep on doing what works for you and it’ll all work out.

[Steven187]

I have been gamble free for just over a year (01/09/16) was my last bet. It hasn’t been an easy year. I have someone controlling my finances, which basically means I don’t gamble. I’m happy to have this in place long term, if it means I don’t gamble again. I don’t want to go back to having suicidal thoughts etc due to mounting debt and feeling that there’s no way out. I’m still in debt to the tune of about ￡7000, but feel happy not gambling and I don’t want to go back to that.
All the best with your recovery.

[Steven187]

I have lost my life savings and have ￡12,000 odd debt to pay back, but I’m in a good place emotionally and mentally. I’m obviously having to make financial sacrifices and I’m now truly understanding the value of money – I think it’s taken losing all of my money for me to learn this lesson sadly.
You are right in what you are saying about putting a weeks wages on one bet and not thinking twice about it – that is the illness, that is why we are compulsive gamblers and can’t gamble.

[Steven187]

I haven’t been on here for a while, so been reading your posts with interest. You have to try and change your pattern of behaviour. You know better than anyone that gambling is not the solution, it only leads to misery. I haven’t gambled since the first of September. I have no desire to gamble. I’m attending ga meetings weekly and I have someone controlling my finances. These steps are working for me, but I appreciate that everyone is different.
Perhaps they would work for you too?

I wish you all the best Maverick.
Take care.

[Steven187]

Thank you both for posting.
I think part of the issue with compulsive gambling is admitting you have a problem.
I was continually telling lies about my gambling to my girlfriend and family, I was also being dishonest with myself or at least not ready to admit to myself that I had a problem.

Admitting my problem to myself, girlfriend and family was the first step and they have all been very supportive. Next was to attend a GA meeting and that was also a big help and will hopefully continue to be.

I started this thread with the heading ‘Some understanding…’, what better place to be or better place to seek help than with people who have gone through or are going through the same things as you.

At the GA meeting on Saturday I was put at ease straight away and couldn’t have been made to feel more welcome. I fully understand the difficulty in walking through those doors for the first time, but it might end up being the best decision you’ve ever made. My view was that I won’t know, until I give it a try.

I also believe that we are all different, (compulsive gambling aside), so what works for one person may not work for the next.

I wish everyone all the best and thank you for reading and posting. The stories on here and support I’ve received have also been a big help in recognising and dealing with my own issues.

[Steven187]

Attended my first GA meeting yesterday and it was a really positive experience. If anyone is unsure about attending a meeting, I would highly recommend it. Any apprehension was very quickly removed and I was able to take something from pretty much everyone’s stories at the meeting, as well as sharing my own.

I haven’t gambled since 01/09/16 and for the most part, haven’t been tempted.

[Steven187]

I will be attending some time next week and will let you know how it goes. I’m a bit apprehensive, but want to see if it will help. Talking to the guy on the phone was certainly useful, as he understood my situation.

[Steven187]

I talked to someone from Gamblers Anonymous last night and will be attending my first meeting soon. I’m a bit apprehensive about the meeting, but want to go to see if it helps. I still haven’t gambled since the start of Sep, so hopefully making progress a day at a time.

[Steven187]

Keep up the good work.
I got paid recently too, money is also disappearing to overdraft/credit cards etc etc, but I’m almost completed a month gamble free-haven’t been able to say that recently.
All the best. Remember you are not doing this alone.

[Steven187]

My bank froze interest on my credit card for three months after I contacted them at the start of the month, which will help in the short term. They didn’t really give me any useful advice, but mentioned freezing interest rates, but this will have an impact on my credit rating for 6 years I believe. I might have to go down this road.
I’m still gamble free and get paid next week, so will be out of my overdraft and hopefully won’t need that facility again.

The temptation to gamble is still there at times, but I haven’t given in. The irony is that I could really do with the money, this time last year I was ￡20,000 up and didn’t need it.
I’m now in a position where my life savings, shares are gone and I have ￡11,000 odd to pay back.

On the plus side, I feel more like myself. I definitely wasn’t myself when I was gambling in a destructive way. I was several different people at different times-work, college, family.

My relationship with my girlfriend has suffered the most through my gambling, but things are good there now. My gambling didn’t interfere with work or college, so I wore my mask well. Above all, I was kidding myself that I didn’t have a problem. I know realise I had/have a massive problem with gambling and it’ll take years to sort my finances out.

Thanks again for posting, it means a lot.
Cheers,
Steve

[Steven187]

I’ve enjoyed reading your posts this evening. I like your positivity and o.d.a.a.t attitude.

I like the idea of setting targets etc too.
Keep posting.
All the best
Steve

[Steven187]

I want to start by saying that I understand fully what you are going through and wish you all the best.
As usual, I find your posts very relatable and they have helped me in my own situation.
It’s very difficult to break the pattern of behaviour, even tho we all know it leads to negativity and heartbreak.

I have given up gambling and started again and given up and started again etc etc repeat to fade.

I’m now at a stage where I haven’t gambled since 01/09/16, might not seem a lot to some people, but I feel I’m making progress.

Your conversation about not liking the person you become when you are gambling also makes sense to me. I’ve found myself in the same position.

All of this is easier said than done, but my life is so much better when I’m not gambling.

Stay strong and all the best.

Cheers,
Steve

[Steven187]

I have been talking to my bank, but I might also have to try step change and/or citizens advice bureau.

Cheers,
Steven

[Steven187]

I am not gambling and don’t intend to again.
Was looking for some advice on sorting debt, it’s predominantly on credit cards.

[Steven187]

I’m currently in a position where I’ve paid off two credit cards completely, so now have two credit cards and a loan to pay off.
I’ve been talking to my bank regularly over the last two weeks, to make them fully aware of my situation and that I’m endeavouring to fix it.
I have gambled again since I last posted, but it’s been a week since my last bet and I have no urge to gamble again.
Perhaps calling my bank was the wake up call I needed.
Still feel like a total **** up due to the predicament I find myself in. My life will be very different for the next few years, I will be unable to afford things I used to take for granted.
I only have myself to blame though.

The conversations with the bank were entertaining, I don’t recall such scrutiny when they were giving me a credit card with a silly limit or loans with no questions asked-all spent on gambling.

[Author]

Posts