[Steven187]

I think you have to be honest with yourself and on here, otherwise there’s no point.
You are taking lots of pro active steps.
I’ve been getting in touch with mates/family when I’ve felt compelled to gamble, doing anything to take my mind off it.
Maybe try that?

[Steven187]

I was never tight with cash, but at one point I’d be gambling thousands at a time and then resent spending ￡50 on food shopping or whatever. Can relate to your post, as I’ve experienced it first hand.
My focus at the moment is to sort debts and start saving again, try to compensate for (some) of my losses. I couldn’t put thousands on a bet now, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I’ve lost too much already.

[Steven187]

Hope you are well.
No need to apologise! I appreciate the input.
I understand what you are saying.
I do think that walking away and showing some self control is progress for me though. Next time, I may not bother gambling at all. The desire and compulsion to gamble has been less over the last while.

[Steven187]

Out of boredom more than anything. Walked away with three times my stake. I don’t even feel any pleasure from winning, I didn’t feel a whole lot to be honest after winning.

Unsure if anyone else has experienced this?
Could be part of my recovery, as very recently I would have gambled my winnings and be walking away with nothing.

I realise that you can’t beat the bookie, but perhaps showing some control is progress. I don’t feel like gambling again and think I will still aim for not gambling at all for the foreseeable.

[Steven187]

I think there’s a number of reasons and I don’t think one thing made me start gambling. Until gambling compulsively, I used to only put the occasional bet on.
Just read about an 18 yr old from Cardiff who drowned himself after amassing gambling debts of ￡5000. Beyond tragic and through gambling online.

I don’t know about everyone else, but for me, gambling online was very much a solitary thing. Certainly wasn’t social.

[Steven187]

I think there are a number of reasons that lead people to gambling. For me, it was a bit of boredom/issues in my relationship with my girlfriend. My brother died when he was in his late twenties (he was 18 months older than me). I’ve always done things to excess-whether that be drinking/recreational drugs. I rarely drink these days and I no longer take drugs. 10 months ago, I wasn’t a compulsive gambler and I won’t be 10 months from now.

Perhaps we gamble due to underlying issues, perhaps it’s just out of boredom or the mundane. Obviously there’s the aspect of financial gain/excitement of gambling. Personally, I didn’t particularly need the money I was trying to win. Ironically, my life savings are now gone and I could do with a big win, but I’ve realised (the hard way) that I won’t win long term and I’m happy with that. I’m devastated at the money I’ve lost. If I go to buy a new house or car and think that I’ve lost ￡70,000 or thereabouts, it’s enough to make you feel sick, but I feel happy at the moment-happy not gambling.

[Steven187]

Just been catching up on your posts.
From your posts, you are dealing with things in a very logical and pro active way. I wouldn’t worry about the relapses too much either. I experienced a similar thing recently, with far larger amounts sadly.
I think it’s good that you’ve self excluded from most websites. I can relate to the boredom part. You mention the gym etc, why not try to set yourself targets there? Try and get something to take your mind off gambling.
Keep on, keeping on! Sounds like you’re doing pretty well over all.

[Steven187]

Been reading your posts with interest, keep it up.
Attempting to stay gamble free myself. After a few relapses, I’ve been thinking about gambling less and less this week. Just been concentrating on work, gym etc You mentioned being defined as a compulsive gambler, I really believe that we have the power to change how we are defined with support from our friends/family/these forums and move on from compulsive gambling. It’s such a negative pattern of behaviour and I know first hand how it changes you.

Take it easy, Steve

[Steven187]

With the slips/relapses theory. These are down to the individual tho. The severity in financial terms will vary from person to person.
Each persons recovery/journey is different, as are the circumstances that brought us all here.
There’s some good advice on these forums, but I think it’s worth noting that everyone is different. What works for one person, may not work for the next.

[Steven187]

Thanks for posting.

I’m still trying to sort my finances etc, so won’t be gambling any silly money for the foreseeable. It’s definitely taken a few relapses/major losses for me to realise that I can’t continue gambling the way I have been. It’s affected my relationship with my girlfriend and I now realise how stressed out I was getting by the whole thing. I’d literally be gambling through an app on my phone all hours of the day. Basically first thing in the morning, until last thing at night. Unable to sleep, due to having to check scores/bets on my phone.

The bottom line is I’m happier not gambling in a destructive way. It’s difficult to realise/admit at the time, but it turned me into a different person and not a nice one at that.

Compulsive gambling really is tragic and so easy to fall into.

[Steven187]

you all make sense.
I think it’s valid that we are all different and individuals though.
The past 10 months have shown that gambling in a destructive way (with large bets) is not working for me and the result always ends up the same.
I only started gambling in this way in Sep/October last year, so have I always been a Cg?! I don’t think I have been. And if that has always been there, I genuinely think I can overcome it.

My intention is to stop gambling for good and I will endeavour to stick with that.

Thanks again for taking the time to post.

[Steven187]

Hope you are well.
Maverick made a comment about his life with and without gambling and I feel the same way. Gambling has caused me nothing but misery. It brings a negativity that I don’t need in my life. I have to keep that in my mind next time I’m tempted to gamble.

[Steven187]

Hope you are well, thanks for the post.
I’ll keep self excluding. I would like to be able to gamble in a sensible/fun way, maybe one day I’ll be able to do that.

[Steven187]

Turned ￡5000 into ￡9000 and surprise surprise, lost it all.
This can’t keep happening, so back taking it one day at a time.
I realised a long time ago, that it’s not even about money necessarily. Who knows. I do know I’m making life harder for myself by gambling in a destructive way.

[Steven187]

Thanks for your posts, all the best.

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