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  • in reply to: New mum and CG. On my road to recovery #68354
    vera
    Participant

    Wonderful news on the birth of your precious baby girl, Megna.
    nI have been praying for your safe delivery . Thank God it was “Easy” (if that description can ever be applied to labour)
    nLovely to have two babies to grow up together.
    nI have been blessed with two grandchildren in the last 3 months. A boy and a girl. They are all here for the weekend.
    nBoth very different in looks and character, but equally beautiful and treasured by parents and grand parents.
    nThe cycle of life never ceases to amaze me. Awesome to see your children’s children.
    nEnjoy every moment and get as much rest as possible.
    nCertainly, you will have no time for gambling now.
    nLife is sweet!

    in reply to: 2019 Review #68344
    vera
    Participant

    Apologies for my tardiness in replying to comments/suggestions/misjudgments and other. My life has been busy. No time for gambling.

    I agree, IDI, mindsets need to be retrained and gambling made impossible. Sometimes it works. At other times we fail.

    Yes, Megna, my life is blessed in many ways but it’s not all one Big Party. Creating more stress is the last thing I need in the face of a major economic recession -I hope to God that I am wrong but it seems inevitable.

    No, RG, I didn’t board the runaway train on this occasion. I stood on the safe platform.

    Last but not least ,Charles, I’m sorry to disprove your predictions and projections, using my past transgressions as a yardstick; I stayed a step ahead and have managed to withdraw all income and other monies that arrived in my current account, thus resisting the temptation to gamble online and as Megna suggested (it was my plan, too, I waited until the coast was well clear to log in and extend my ban. I did not misquote GA “tips” I may have paraphrased. Sorry if I didn’t give the verbatim version. I stand corrected on that issue.

    Positive comments are far more helpful than sarcastic remarks when addressing a CG (my term for me in relation to gambling!)

    The saying “We catch more flies with honey than with vinegar” applies!

    To finish, I wish to express my deep sadness to hear that “Bettie” is no longer with us on this Forum, or indeed on this earth. She and I went back a long way together on both on GT and in Real Life.

    Ar dheis De go raibh a h-anam dilis. (May her sweet soul rest on the right side of God.)

    Thank you for sharing the very sad news with us,Kathryn, I will write on your thread soon.

    God bless!

    in reply to: Reboot my Recovery in Yr 2020 #53962
    vera
    Participant

    Very easy to stop and stay stopped when we have no money, no casino, no internet.
    Even gambling thoughts aren’t a challenge then.
    When we are presented with opportunities to gamble in the future. what then??

    in reply to: New mum and CG. On my road to recovery #50789
    vera
    Participant

    Dear Megna,
    Just in case I vanish, I want to wish you a safe delivery and a beautiful bouncing baby.
    You are in my thoughts.
    Be assured of my prayers.
    Great excitement ahead for your family.
    Gambling has no place in your blessed life.
    Take care.

    in reply to: 2019 Review #53324
    vera
    Participant

    Thanks for that, IDI.
    Thanks Charles.
    Megna, you read my mind.
    I HOPE not to log in on that date. Hope and pray!
    If I can psyche myself up and stick to that, I will be ok.
    Fingers, toes and everything else crossed.
    If I fall again, I may not be able to get up.
    I can’t bear to face another set back. I’m putting nails in my own coffin.
    WHY?

    in reply to: i lost at black jack #54958
    vera
    Participant

    Good to meet you in the group earlier, Tommik.
    Well done on seeking help.
    You lost a LOT of money. It is a shock and when we are in shock we say “never again”
    I agree 100% with Kolberg
    DO not get a loan.
    Gamblers look for a quick fix when we lose.
    First thought after a sudden loss is “I have to get my money back.
    I know, because I have been doing this for 20 years.
    The first time I lost 2k, I nearly got a heart attack.
    I was frantic so the bright idea of a loan seemed like the solution.
    A friend told me if you keep gambling you will lose 20k.
    I laughed.
    Swore to God I would never gamble again if the loan was granted.
    Got the loan.
    Lost it.
    Fast forward 20 years. Add a few zeros to the first loss plus huge debt.
    All from getting a quick fix to cover my tracks.
    So my advice is to start saving very slowly. Give the savings to a reliable person. Ban yourself from the casinos and gambling sites and slowly rebuild your savings.
    Compulsive gamblers cannot handle money.
    We will always return to the scene of the crime.
    Gambling is an insidious, progressive disease and although the problem only comes to the fore when we lose, it is not about money at all.
    Keep posting. Sit tight. There is little chance of getting work in another country with this “pandemic”. Jobs are scarce. My belief is that we are facing a huge global recession so forget about gambling and get all the help and support that you can avail of. No matter how far you travel or how many new jobs you get the addiction will always follow you.
    I wish you well in your future life.

    in reply to: 2019 Review #53320
    vera
    Participant

    Thanks IDI but I don’t wanted to be booted off GT….YET!

    in reply to: 2019 Review #53318
    vera
    Participant

    Thanks IDI and Charles.
    I think I would be in breach of GT terms and conditions to ask another member to log in to a gambling site on my behalf, IDI but thanks for the offer.
    You are right Charles.
    It’s all down to personal choice but as you know, addiction clouds judgement.

    in reply to: I’m not giving up! #41859
    vera
    Participant

    So glad to hear your daughter is doing so well, Lizbeth.
    I prayed a lot for your girl. Your support allowed her to recover her life. She will never forget that.
    Mothers have a difficult task. Some just can’t cope with the duty that is bestowed on us. I have made many mistakes. The blessing of children often turns to a burden when we run into difficulties. I’m guessing your own mom has a lot of unresolved issues which she never learned to cope with . She will not change at this stage of life.
    Looking forward instead of dwelling on the past has been your saving grace, Liz.
    Despite all your trials, you have come up trumps.
    You are an inspiration to all.
    I have been blessed with two grandchildren in the last two months. I only hope I can be a fraction of the granny that you are. Already I find myself being over protective. We have to remember that God is in charge. All we can do is our best, then let go.
    Gambling can destroy all our efforts.
    Well done on all your wonderful achievements.

    in reply to: never not will end #54953
    vera
    Participant

    Eli, the aftermath of gambling can lead to deep depression.
    I have been there too often.
    My suggestion would be that you make no plans to change your location.
    Take on step at a time. Go to work. Break the day down into hours. Try not to dwell on the recent loss. The money is gone. It will never come back. That is PAINFUL.
    Say the serenity prayer
    God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
    The courage to change the things I can an
    The Wisdom to know the difference.
    Sit down . Take deep breaths. The urge to win your money back will come and go. Remember one thing
    COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS NEVER WIN.

    in reply to: 2019 Review #53314
    vera
    Participant

    Thanks Kin, Steev, IDI.

    My slow response was partly due to the fact I have been busy with family issues. (A great distraction from gambling)

    Kin, I still believe that placing the first bet is the first step to disaster and that compulsive gamblers can never win, but of course these realizations can be circumvented when we want to indulge our base instincts. Addiction, which goes hand in hand with avarice and desire for instant gratification, has the ability to blind us to truth, despite past experiences which lend evidence to the contrary.

    Steev-I agree totally with the “dry drunk” analogy. In 2010, I “white -knuckled” through the whole year and when I relaxed my grip in 2011, all hell broke lose. I stayed G free for 27 months (up until last April) and realized the difference between abstinence and recovery.
    I need to get back to the “non gambler”persona , where not even a thought would suggest I ever enjoyed that life style.

    IDI-thanks for saying no one ever grows weary of me! I grow weary of myself though. Perhaps I grow weary of gambling. All the more reason not to identify as a gambler any longer, as Steev rightly suggests.
    As for the PLAN, you know how your idea of a plan helped me-actually SAVED me in 2015.
    Five years on that plan (fund) has been demolished but it’s never too late to start again.
    I have in fact kick started it already and I am running a savings scheme, parallel to my debt repayment scheme but of course in my distorted mind I sometimes get the brain wave that I can fast forward the scheme and win enough to pay off my (rather large) debts and double or treble my savings.
    My track record proves the opposite will always occur.
    So I still sit with my original dilemma. My “Time out” i.e. six week exclusion ends on May 22nd. My income will hit my account on the same date.I need to extend my self exclusion. The only way I can do that is by logging into the gambling site that I’m excluded from, so for a very brief moment I will have to decide between making a deposit to “play and have some fun , with the hope of a few wins” or quickly scrolling to the small print that allows a player to extend a “Time Out”period.
    A tip from GA is proving helpful.
    “Never tempt or test yourself”.
    The non gambler in me is planning to give my lap top to somebody overnight on that date. Go to the ATM the next morning. Remove all available cash. Retrieve my laptop. Log into the same said sit and extend the exclusion.
    Fingers crossed I will do the right thing.
    In the meantime, the best I can do is BE ACCOUNTABLE by writing about it here BEFORE the effluent hits the air conditioner and not wait ’til AFTER.
    That’s it in a nutshell!

    in reply to: 6 months gamble free #54572
    vera
    Participant

    The REAL blockers/barriers are in the mind, I-D-I. The physical blockers are easily shifted , if we want to gamble.

    When the mindset changes , the behaviour changes.

    Blockers slowed you down when you needed the extra hurdle help but they NEVER stopped you gambling.

    YOU STOPPED YOURSELF and you now know that gambling has no hold on you so take a bow!

    I always said it comes down to “mindset” in the end.

    I rest my case. As an extra precaution, lock down/up your funds so that they cannot be easily accessed.

    Ps. Your green house sounds like the perfect escape. My husband lives in the garden. We have a “lean to” green house which he erected years ago and a tunnel which came later. The garden is set and beginning to flourish. Who needs to gamble when we have everything nature can give us. it seems you are naturally green fingered like my old man. You will never again want to buy limp lettuce, tasteless tomatoes, wilted cabbage , carrots wrapped in plastic when you get accustomed to the crunch and flavour of the real thing. We reap what we sow.

    Let gardening be your new GA Don’t forget to water , water, water!

    in reply to: Day 300, c,one bow to a year #45681
    vera
    Participant

    Lockdown has serious consequences, Monica. I have had strong reservations about it from the getgo.
    There will be heads rolling when the truth is exposed, methinks.
    We need to look at the wider picture and take back control of our lives.
    Our destiny is in God’s Hands. We need to think outside the proverbial box and be proactive by taking personal responsibility.
    I am limited to what I can say here. I had a family situation over the weekend that involved going against the current legislation , regarding travel. The reality of Life does not conform to/with current restrictions which will never be sustainable in a democracy.
    Get out into the sunshine, Monica.
    Like gambling recovery, “covid” recovery needs a strong kick start.
    Look at the alternative platforms instead of the narrative which is being pushed from the mainstream media.
    I hope you are getting a break from the online games?

    in reply to: Reboot my Recovery in Yr 2020 #53950
    vera
    Participant

    Overeating due to boredom can be very damaging to health,Kin.
    According to Bill Gates we will be locked up until the whole world is vaccinated so maybe you could buy an exercise bike!!

    in reply to: 2019 Review #53310
    vera
    Participant

    The present quandary I find myself in, leaves me feeling perplexed so for what it’s worth, I will put it on record here.
    I am on a 6 week “Time Out” from hell. No need to elaborate!
    I have about two weeks to go before I can be re instated.
    All my funds have been removed from my bank account to ensure their safety and my sanity.
    Of course between now and my time out end date, more income will arrive in my account.
    The G part of my brain is telling me to “just deposit XXX , build it up to xxxx, withdraw, then self exclude”.
    Sounds so easy and satisfying. I’m even practising my skills on Free slots to build up control.
    The Non- G area of my brain is telling me of course that my alter voice is talking shite…
    Any takers???

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 2,640 total)