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Hello, from your most recent post, it is clear that your gambling has created several problems for you. It has affected your finances and your relationships.
Now is not the time to forget your problems; it is the time to face your problems. Using gambling as an ecape will only make the problems bigger.
Though your problems may stem from your gambling problem, they are separate from each other.
Your financial probloems may be eased through negotiation and you explaining that you are a recovering gambler and your gambling contributed to the problems.
Your relationship problems, with your wife and son will take time to solve. If you are trustworthy, honest and open with your family, and stay on the right track, over time, your relationship with them may improve.
You need to be patient. The problems your gambling has caused will take time to resolve. Getting stressed about them or overwhelmed by them won’t help. Working with the people who have been affected by your gambling is more likely to work.
You could have a timetable for addressing different problems over the next couple of weeks.
Hi Adam, I think th thing that is helping you most is your new attitude towards gambling. You no longer accept the arguments that you used to persuade yourself to gamble more.
It’s good that the lottery win didn’t have much of an impact on your emotions. This shows that gambling is becoming less important to you than it was in the past.
At work there will be good days and bad days but if all days are gamble-free than the bad days will be less bad.
People have the ability to control themselves, but they don’t always realise it. Addictions occur because people have allowed themselves to get out of control. Ultimately, it is up to the individual to bring himself back under control. He may get assistance with that from barriers and support services, but these things only work if the individual co-operates with them, and does not undermine them.
In some of your other posts you’ve talked about a false sense of freedom that you have felt when gambling. Addictions are the polar opposite of freedom. Addictions are tyranny. You cannot be liberated through addiction but you can be liberated from addiction. When you are liberated from your addictions, you can experience and appreciate real freedom.
Hi Mav,
When you do gamble, it usually follows an episode of negative feelings.
You should know, from past experience, that there will come a point again in the ne4ar future when you experience negative feelings. Maybe you’ll feel depressed. Maybe you’ll feel anxious. Maybe you’ll feel hopeless. You might feel like a failure.
Using that knowledge, you could develop a plan of what you’re going to do when you feel negative instead of gambling. It could include things like trying to stay focused on your work, getting in touch with somebody you know just to ask how they are, and going for a walk.
Then when you have urges to gamble, you can do something more positive instead. The more active you are, the less powerful the urges, because there isn’t as much room or time for them to settle in your mind.
With the assistance of a plan, you will have something in your mind that you can use and allow to be more powerful than the urges the addiction uses.
Hello, I’m Wayne, a group facilitator here. My group is open from 1500 GMT most Wednesday.
The reason I respondd to this post, is that I think it highlights the simple benefits of not gambling. Butchugly, you’ve celebrated many occasions by gambling, but now, you want to spend those days doing something as simple as having a meal with your daughter. Being appreciate the simple things in life, like spending time with your children is a quality made all the more important by the miserable times spent gambling. Let the meal with your daughter be one of the simple things that inspire you if you have urges to gamble. Remind yourself of the simple ways you can enjoy yourself, that rather than destroying you and your relationships, help you to make those relationships stronger.