[2017shaun]

Hi back again. 2 years later.
It’s not that I have been gambling again. It’s the mood that I’m feeling 24/7.. irritated at everything, constantly pissed off with myself, very low self esteem, I used to go to work with out a problem, now I can not be bothered. I can not be bothered to do anything. If it was up to me i would stay in bed all day.. depressed!! With out going to the doctor’s and being told that it is depression, I’m not even registered at any doctors, I have refused to go and sign up at one.. my eating has gone down hill. My motivation has gone. I live with girlfriend and children. The only thing I probably do care about is them, they are probably the reason why I am still here today. But lately I am loosing that care to live, my fire has been put out and stomped all over.
I turned down the resident stay here because I couldn’t bare the fact of leaving my kids for 3 months.
Maybe I’m regretting not going but what ever it is, it is all I think about lately.

[Matthew116]

Hang in there, put in a prayer and ask for peace.

[Steev]

I didn’t know you from 2 years ago – but I am sorry to hear that you are suffering now.

When I was feeling depressed – I didn’t go to the doctors but just tried to get through each day. I thought about giving up – but someone said something that made a difference. She said ??its not that you want to end your life – it’s that you want to end the life you have now.??
She was right – it was that half-living, where everything seems like too much effort and I couldn’t be bothered with work, friends (I have no family) or anything.
I made some phone calls to helplines and eventually I found my way to the medics and got help through tablets and counselling. I’m so glad I did that. I hope you can find a way out to.

I’m not sure what country you are in – but the links to helplines below might be a good first start. Give them a call even if you don’t think that things are too bad at the moment – they won’t mind hearing from you – I promise. Post back here too.

https://www.samaritans.org/samaritans-ireland/
https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/

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[velvet]

Hi Shaun

Thinking ‘what if’ and ‘if only’ can prevent you from enjoying your life so how about re-applying for the residential programme.

My favourite quote is ‘you may never know what results come from your actions but if you do nothing there will be no results’

Re-ignite that fire Shaun, you can do it or I wouldn’t be here writing to you.

Keep posting, you are being heard

Velvet

[2017shaun]

Cheers Mathew. I am Catholic but does he answer our prayers, if he does why would some of us even have this problem?
It is a man made problem id say but never the less, if there was a god, prayers to you and everyone else. Pray that we all pull through this.

Yes Steve I was here 2 years ago last month, I did do a august pact, which a couple of members joined in . I’m glad your here to help, it gives us the hope that we can change keep on at it and we will become equal again. I work nights and I do not think that helps, that on its own makes me. Tired and unsociable. So I am applying for day jobs as we speak, normall work hours would be a start !! Thank you for your post

And yes velvet maybe I should. I must admit tho I think I am scared of the change, scared of bettering myself, scared of what could be new, scared of my inner self.
For the past 11 odd years this has been me, ups and downs. Highs and lows. I do know that gambling does not help the situation. I now know by placing a ￡2 bet its leads to the same feeling as loosing a bulk of money. I know the risks it comes with….
I just need a new frame of mind

Thanks for listening

[2017shaun]

When you don’t have money it is easy not to gamble, simply because ( no money = no gambling )
My wages go to my partner, I have no problem with that. Rather she have it then give it to gambling associations.
It works for me, but then again when I have the urge for gambling I have to ask for money.
I have asked everyday b4, sometimes twice a day, once a week and sometimes even planned to gamble a few day in advance.
What I’m trying to say is, me and my partner have found this way works to a certain degree, but with out her help or support, I could be as bad as before. Probably would have lost the plot by now.
For anyone without help and support, it must be hard but for your own sanity ( DO NOT GAMBLE ) today or tomorrow.

[Auteur]

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