[Ryan86]

Hello all.

This has been a long time coming. I am sports mad and used to be able to watch sports for the love of it. I started putting on very small stakes about ten years ago and it was harmless fun. However as the years have progressed so have my stakes. In recent weeks I’ve been betting hundreds of pounds a week. Money that I actually do not have to wasting. I have maxed out my credit cards and overdraft. They don’t have the biggest limits but it’s still gambling with money which I do not have.

My family have sat me down and have said to me that it’s got to stop. They say that it’s changing me. I used to be a very sociable and happy person and now I am becoming unsociable and withdrawn, with my moods depending on my gambling.

I really really do not want to be this person for them or for myself. So I have excluded myself from all betting sites and deleted all apps. Looking into installing betfilter on my phone also. Just attended my first group session on here in which Charles was extremely helpful, thank you.

Just really looking for like minded people to talk to that I could perhaps help and receive help from. Hope to speak to some of you soon.

[charles]

Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you ??

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[finding_laura]

Hi Ryan, I’m glad your family is supporting you and have recognized the changes in you. It sounds like they are very concerned. It’s good that you have come here for support. There are a lot of people that have the same issues with sports betting and hopefully you will all be able to support one another. It sounds like you are already taking very important steps to tackle your problem. Closing aps and excluding are great steps. Installing a gambling blocker can also be a good barrier. No matter what we just keep trying to beat this. If at first you don’t succeed, take it another step further. Have a family member handle your finances, cut up credit cards. Whatever it takes. It can be done. Good job on coming here.

take care,
Laura

[Raynor98k]

Hi Ryan,

Congrats on two major accomplishments: excluding yourself from sites (huge) and also letting your family know (also huge). Gambling addiction is a devastating disease with potentially huge consequences. You have taken a great first step into helping yourself change your habits. Beating an addiction of any kind requires you to form new good habits to replace them with. Urges will be there, but as long as you set up blockers and are aware of your thoughts, you should be okay.

I have been working a lot with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and find it to be extremely effective. Basically what has happened here on a molecular level is that neurons in our brains have formed connections based on continuous behavior. These connections release dopamine, and fire whenever we think about or see something that reminds us of the behavior (triggers).

Habits form (good and bad) through positive reinforcement. If we do any activity, and the outcome is better than the expectation, dopamine is released. This explains why gambling is so insanely addictive. Even though we can be delusional in thinking about a big win, we know in the logic part of our brains that we will most likely lose. Anytime you win, it just reinforces this thought process and more dopamine is released. This is our brain saying, ??Hey! Remember this because this is important!??. However, our brains have a pretty big flaw with the reward system and perception. We continue to gamble because of the anticipation of a big win. Our brain just thinks about the win and awesome feeling, but totally disregards the losses and despair which is ironically hurting our chances of survival (the exact opposite of what the reward system is designed to aid with).

Long story short, these connections will fade away the longer you do not give in to the urges. There is always hope. Have your blockers in place, and the next time you get a craving, just talk to yourself a bit. Decide firmly that you are not going to act on impulse, but instead weigh your options and then make a decision. Best of luck Ryan

–Nick

[TTA]

In my experience it’s really positive that family are aware of everything. The more support you have the better in my experience.

Although fairly new, we are all in the same position just at different stages. Even taking this step is huge!

In the outset blocking software and putting measures in place made a massice difference to me and brokenthe continuous cycle.

I will be chatting at 12 if your around but if not keep going and be positive. Your making all the right steps. Be proud.

[Ryan86]

Hello all. Thank you so much for your support it is really appreciated from people who are further along the road than myself. It’s been four days now and the urges although apparent are relatively easy to deal with at the moment. I suppose this weekend will be the big test as my addiction is sports based. However I am determined to have made it six days by Monday. I hope to chat to you all sometime soon.

Ryan

[kathryn]

Wow, you’ve done a great job in excluding, and your family obviously love you and have seen the changes in your behaviour and want to help.
Is someone holding your access to cash for you?
That can also really help, I know it can feel like being treated like a baby but it’s quite the relief to know that, for now, you don’t have to worry about money.
I have personally found that this site has been amazing for me. I am also excluded and while that ensures the ‘physical’ barrier this site has let me vent, as myself, not wife, Mum etc, I can say what I need to and receive great support and advice.
8.5 yrs later and life is pretty good.
You can have a life without gambling, and it’s a great one!
Not without its challenges, but not being clouded by gambling thoughts makes getting through those times a lot easier.
You are definitely on the right path!!!
Look forward to hearing more from you!
Love K xxx

[Ryan86]

Hello K

Thank you for your words of support and encouragement. This site is brilliant to hear that there are like minded people out there who have overcome their gambling demons.

I’m still managing to stay strong this weekend. It’s not been as easy as midweek but I’ve kept myself busy and after today it will be my first weekend and nearly full week without a bet for about 8 years.

I was thinking about giving my finances to a family member. Mainly the money that I have left over after bills. So that I could then make my money last.

Once again thank you for your words of encouragement and congratulations on the length of time you have so far completed. You’re an inspiration.

Ryan

[Ryan86]

Hello K

Thank you for your words of support and encouragement. This site is brilliant to hear that there are like minded people out there who have overcome their gambling demons.

I’m still managing to stay strong this weekend. It’s not been as easy as midweek but I’ve kept myself busy and after today it will be my first weekend and nearly full week without a bet for about 8 years.

I was thinking about giving my finances to a family member. Mainly the money that I have left over after bills. So that I could then make my money last.

Once again thank you for your words of encouragement and congratulations on the length of time you have so far completed. You’re an inspiration.

Ryan

[menez02]

hey Ryan,

I read your story and for sure that’s looks a lot like mine. Hope we can help each other and maybe then talk about sport together ?? Stay strong buddy

[Auteur]

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