Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. ?We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. ?We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. ?The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. ?So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you ??

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and ?terms and conditions so you know how it all works! ???

Some very valuable advice i was given when i was in Gordon Moody Rehab, a bad day will only last 24 hours. Your making the right steps to a better life, its hard not to think what could of been what could i have done with the money creadit rating is so bad i can get anymore money, im in the same boat 2 and a half years on, but we cant change the past we can only change the future, if we dwell on things it only has a negative impact on us, i find it tough when i need to get things things go wrong, coz i could of had no problems if i didn’t gamble, but for us its hard, take one day as you can, 4 days is great, each day life dose get better, work on things, be positive give your self some time to sit reflect and make sure you make the right choices, always here for you, i feel your pain, but well don recogising the steps u need to take, I had to hit rock bottom and got rehab to make the change

Hi Craig, well done on your gamble free time.

“……The test will come when the wages go in next week……”

Yes, that is always a test. It’s a test we can remove/reduce though. What barriers can you put in place? What financial accountability will you have in place? Use your awareness of the dangers, put things in place so that you can’t easily access finds to gamble with and pay day becomes just like any other day.

Keep posting.

Basing from my experience- I have to agree with charles, sometimes we cgs tend to fool ourselves that weve got past our addiction or had started it, only to realize that we havent gone gambling because we dont have the money to gamble- or if not, money is too small to gamble. I guess the more difficult test is when we get past 2-4 paychecks without gambling a single penny.

live is tough, i feel financial problems are the easier ones to deal with, what may seem big, you can break things down, I sold my property to pay off my debts but a a compulsive gambler you no that didn’t happen i used to to try and gamble my debts away and they just got worse, I would try and write each debt down that you have so u no how much and who to pay to, you could also then speak to your creditors and explain your situatuation and asked for reduced rate, or you could go to a chartity debt management plan like stepchange and pay what you can afford to pay and live at the same time, then you no your money goes out and debts are being paid and conscious is clean, no shame in speaking to creditors explaining your situation, if you have payday loans then their are other routes like I did you can go down and if you have let me know. I no it may seem tough and you may have a tough month now, but if you can try and deal with these like I say then by next 2-3 months things will become alot more easier . But dont delay look at your fnaicnces, speak to them speak to stepchange, its a free charity service

your welcome mate, to be fair you could contact stepchange first and they can contact creditors for you, it certainly will make life a little easier, but if you had payday loans that were repetitive let me know, any questions feel free

Hi ya Craig

I hope you’ve got a plan in place to protect your wages this month mate. It’s a lot easier to “stay strong” when your pockets and bank account is empty.

Have you told or considered telling your girlfriend how bad things are for you with regards to gambling? Maybe she could keep hold of your bank card for a few weeks.

I’ve been a CG for over 30 years Craig and I can tell you in no uncertain terms that, to me, the FOBT’s expedite this addiction like nothing else I’ve known.

My story is well documented in my previous posts so to cut a very long story a lot shorter; I had been to prison 4 times by the the time I was 25 all for thieving or deception, all the money to fund gambling in bookies, casinos and card schools. I had sort of had my fill of it and although I did still gamble like a lunatic I was reluctant to cross the line again and risk getting banged up again. I avoided casinos like the plague and went to the bookies once or twice a month if that, and I never seemed to loose too much control although in reality I must have done because I always lost too much money.

I went through a great spell when I hadn’t been in a bookies for about 18 months, this was about 2003/04. One night I tried an online casino and before I knew it I had emptied 3 bank accounts. I couldn’t wait for the bank to open so I could deposit more cash, (I was a taxi driver at the time I had the last 3 or 4 weeks takings in my safe).

To cut this short version of a long story even shorter; I came to my senses before the bank opened, I don’t think self exclusion was an option then but in any event I had decided that if I could get into that much trouble sitting in front of my computer in my own home and it was “making” me get to the stage I was dripping in sweat with the anticipation of getting money into the bank to gamble with then the computer had to go.

I took it to a second hand shop and sold it. As I came out of the shop I picked a fare up and he asked what I had been doing in the second hand shop. I told him, and I told him why. He told me about the FOBT’s and within few months Craig I was back in prison for committing a very serious fraud.

I cant say that the FOBTs turn people into CG’s (although I think that they do), but I know to a CG they are a quick fire way to rock bottom and beyond.

If whats left of your salary starts burning a hole in your pocket today, please think to yourself before it gets the better of you. Ask yourself “whats the worst thing that’ll happen if I dont get to the bookies?”

Craig, in early recovery, especially the early days our mindset changes so very quickly when we’ve had nowt in our pockets.

In the title of your thread you say “Need this to be over” Indeed you do, its no good just acknowledging that fact. Do you really want it to be over, if you do then you won’t gamble today. There is a huge difference between needing and wanting.

If you have to post every half hour to keep your mind off it then please do for your own sake, there is also live help available.

Look after yourself today mate, you just have to do what you’ve done the last 6 days, that is not to gamble, its not that hard is it.

All the best.

Geordie.

How’s it been today mate?

Mate that’s great news. First payday is always a tough day I’ve found. I work nights mate so am off to bed. Thanks for update, keep it up man,

I just joined this website John and this is my first step I’ve ever taken to stop this madness once and for all. Many times I have told myself that I would never gamble again but, nothing ever helps the urge. I tell myself “Why am I so stupid?” and “What’s the point in living in this nightmare?” I nearly lost my home a couple years ago. I went bankrupt and was given a fresh start – nearly debt free. That is where I’d like to be now but, I’m not. I’ve managed to max out credit cards once again because of my gambling. I am behind on mortgage payments, car payments, and utility bills. I’m here because I need help and I would like to help others. Lets give life a chance and take baby steps to get our lives back and be happy again. I hope in some way I can help you or anyone else, while at the same time helping myself too. Lynda (USA)

I’m sorry you find yourself in this position, it is possible to change. As bad as your situation is it can get better.

To get the best support on this forum it’s better to start your own thread.

If you look on the main forum page you will see a link for “new topic”. You may find the support groups a big help over the weekend.

I’m at work so havnt got time to write much more. I hope you get your own thread started. Don’t give up hope there are many successful journeys of recovery that have started off similar to yours.

I wish you well with it, take care.

Geordie.

Mate I’m very pleased for you. I’m sorry for your mate, does he really want to stop? Have you told him about this site?

I dont have any gambling mates left except one, somebody I met in rehab. Over the years we’ve lent each other money in effect enabling each other to gamble. I think you’d be making a rod for your own back if you ever lent your mate money after he’s had a bad day, think very carefully if he ever asks.

I’m really pleased for you Craig, your quality of life must already be improving.

Great start for you nice to see.

Take care

Geordie.

Hi Craig, great to here your 2 weeks have gone by gamble free, must make you feeel more happier, your friend is just a reminder that a bet simple as ￡2 can quickly excalate out of hand and become detremental, you could help each other, but if he is still gambling keep at arms lengh and focus on your own recovery. How did u get n talking to stepchange and your finacial companies has it helped? Hope you have a good day thanks for keeping us updto date allways here fo u

Well done on your 3 G- free weeks Craig and on using a Debt Management Programme to help with your repayments.
Two things you mention alarm me somewhat.
1. Selling your house.
I know a few CGs who did that “to pay off other debts”.
They lost the proceeds of the sale to gambling.
2. “Moving in”with your girlfriend.
In my experience CGs love quick fixes and easy options so I would suggest caution. We need to be well advanced in recovery before taking such a serious step.
‘Just my thoughts.
Over and out.

Hi Craig

I’d like to echo what Vera says. Taking nothing away from you, you have done great so far, and long may it continue.

You’ve been a gambler for 10 years, and in your own words “Every single month I struggle financially and it’s all down to gambling”.

Personally I think it would be a bad move to sell your house after only three weeks gambling free. However we are all different. There are CGs on this forum and other websites that have sold their houses to pay off gambling debts and ended up not only skint in a short period of time, but homeless too.

I appreciate your girlfriend says that you can move in with her, but again I think that may be a wrong move at this time. You say that there’s only one mate who knows of your predicament so I presume your girlfriend knows nowt about you being a CG. It would be so wrong to move on to her home mate without first telling her of your gambling addiction. Ultimately the choices are yours but for the last ten years you’ve made your own choices and look where that has left you.

You should be immensely proud for going this first three weeks in the right direction, and there is absolutely no reason why things should go tits up for you. But before you consider these two major changes why not start on a few smaller ones; getting back to the gym for instance. Talking to girlfriend about things.

I’m not trying to burst your bubble mate, and I’m certain that neither is Vera. We have both been around the block a few times and can spot the danger signs. It pays to talk and share, but sometimes that involves being told things that we don’t want to hear.

People told me I was foolish to try and tot up the interest I had paid, or owed. But I went ahead and done it. I will be in debt for the rest of my life even if I live to be a hundred years old, imagine that. Being a hundred and still paying for days out on fobts 50 years ago. Like me mate you have to accept was has happened has happened that money has gone, including the interest. That’s where gambling takes us man.

Does your girlfriend know anything at all about your gambling problem??

Listen mate no one can fault you for what you’ve achieved so far; contacting stepchange and stopping gambling brilliant.

As you say the further you distance yourself from gambling, the better your mindset I hope you wait until you quite a bit further down the road of recovery before you make drastic changes.

I hope with regards to both decisions you learn from other people’s mistakes and don’t end up learning from your own.

Take care Craig.

All the best.

Geordie.

Hi craig just been reading through your thread you have made some great positive moves in your new gamble free life , well done and keep it up one day at a time.

Hi Craig, well doen on the steps that you ahve alreaady taken.

Geordie asked an important question – does your girlfriend know about your gambling? And that it is a problem?

Hi Craic, Thanks for your comments on my thread. Seems like you are doing well. Different things work for different people, but you have to trust yourself first. i.e. trust that you can stay away. There are many many people that have left this addiction firmly behind them and never looked back. You can too !

Sounds great Craig, keep it up.

Great post im pleased with how your feeling coping and changing, I myself have been a t a new job for year and half now, and i finally told a close friend i made there, its good to be open and honest I dont feel there is anything to be ashamed of now, life is extremely tough for lots of people out there other addictions losses and also sorts and life is tough but its how we cope with it and how we support each other. Well done Craig

Hi ya Craig was just wondering how things are?

Thanks for posting mate, pleased it’s all good for you. Keep touching base mate, I find it always help to keep complacency away.

I’ve had a busy couple of weeks but still here and not back there thankfully.

It’s often said,like life itself, recovery is a journey not a destination. It is an ongoing state but only enhances your life.

Keep on trucking mate.

Hi Craig well done on the 50days im pleased for you it sa great feeeling, for me though my advice re selling the house is prior to you doing that you need to be honest and open to your parents about why you are selling the house and where the money is going, by you hiding that secret it just gives that gambling side something to feed onto, from what i learnt you need to be open an honest about everything, otherwise there is stilla hold on you, no matter how hurt people will be hiding things and covering things is no good for me now, i lead an open and honest life

Hi Craig, well done on your gamble free time. My recommendation would be to come clean with your parents.

You won’t just be presenting the problem, you will be showing them how you are going to deal with it.

Trying to keep things hidden, particularly financial things, can in itself send someone gambling.

Keep posting.