[slapshot16]

Hey there, my name is Thomas.

I’ll start out by saying after reading some of the other issues I am not quite in the same boat, but I feel myself slipping. These are my gambling results for the past 2 months…or month and a half.

Online:

deposits – 3779.85
withdrawls – 1561.79

down 2218.06 since jan 2018

Live Games:

money in – 2000
money out – 1200

down 800 since jan 2018

I have money in my bank and am not in debt. I feel however after tallying everything up that I have started on the downward spiral. I really like seeing numbers in my account and I DO NOT want to lose anymore… If i’m researching youtube videos on problem gambling and have come across this site. I know that something bad is brewing. I just self excluded myself from my main gambling site 2 weeks ago, not even 4 days later I started on another, I just cashed out 300 from it and used the remainder as a last hurrah. I am worried that I will go back on there though as soon as boredom sets in. I feel the rush of winning, but I can’t walk away when i’m up 600 or 700 dollars. Its really difficult to do, I feel like i’m chasing my losses and my one lucky day is right around the corner. I have come to understand that some people may get extremely lucky, but most do not… I want to stop. I have been neglecting friends and my favorite activities, I don’t want to go anywhere but the casino. I’ve been lucky to have only lost that amount so far, but I feel if I keep doing what i’m doing I will deeply regret it later… No one close to me knows I gamble online, i’ve even gone to the casino a couple times by myself which leads me to believe I have a problem.

I am a little lost right now, I know I need to stop, but its crazy.. for whatever reason even if I have a bad day and lose $600, the next I feel like I can win again because well “anything can happen”.

January is when I started screwing around with slots, and I won the first 3 times I went, albeit I had a controlled limit the first two times, the 3rd time I lost my original $300 and went to the atm for an additional $300 (stupid), and rung up a $1500 win, then proceded to play it down to me being on $600 up and I left. I have since been back to 2 different casinos about 5 times and feel the rush and excitement.

The government has stated that these places are just for fun, but I am seeing that I am having issues controlling that fun because of my losses.

Like I stated above, I have money in the bank and want to keep it that way, so I am starting on this recovery journey now, as I don’t want to be sucked in… I will admit to having an addictive personality, but I also have my wits about me and understand that I need someone to talk to, even if it just through a computer screen..

[velvet]

Hello Thomas and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you ??

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[velvet]

Hi Thomas
It is indeed a slippery slope between placing a bet for fun, chasing debts and gradually evolving into a compulsive gambler who cannot walk away so I salute you that you have made this brave decision to stand your ground and revaluate your life before, as Jappy so rightly says, you lose everything.
I sincerely hope that you keep the money you have in your bank. I suggest you keep posting and join our groups to keep yourself focussed on what can happen when the little devil complacency whispers in your ear.
This site would not be here if this was a problem that could be dealt with overnight – it takes a lot off effort to change the way you have been living but it can be done – if it were not so I wouldn’t be here.
Maybe anything can happen if you bet again but you will ultimately lose if you do, that is the nature of the addiction that clouds your judgement.
Well done starting you thread. I look forward to hearing you kick an addiction that I know you never wanted and never asked for but sadly is your reality. You can do it.
Velvet

[Johnny B]

I want to congratulate you on making the effort to post here. This is not an easy thing to do. I also think it is important to keep track of the dollars as you have, and take a look with fresh eyes. I am not chastising you in anyway, but in your forum you reference a total of $3000 lost since January. I can’t speak to your financial situation, but I do know if those losses keep coming, there is no turning it around.
You mention there are some gamblers who get “extremely lucky”, but in many of those cases, they wind up in a downward spiral and lose it all. I know that for me, the sickest times I felt, is where I was up several thousand, and lost it all back and then some.. sometimes not in the same day, but invariably over a few trips, it was all gone… Months worth of income earned lost in just a few sessions…not good…not acceptable.
Stay the course, I think you are on the right track.
Johnny B

[i_quit]

Hi,

When reading your first post (congratulations for that and welcome with us!), it was like I wrote that text or I see myself. All I can say is that I exactly know how you feel; with winning some money, losing it afterwards and trying to get it back. Self-exclusion of one site but opening a new one on another site after few days.

The past x years I have been doing the same thing and I think I have opened more than 30 accounts on several sites. At the beginning I use to control myself and aim to win money, it always works perfectly but once I lose a bet, I try to win that lost money back and with some extra. Of course, too many times I ended up in a negative spiral and lost lots of money. I am truly happy you are aware of it now and that you want to keep the money you have now. I have made lots of debts and overtime I manage to pay it off. At this moment I still have little debt but today is my 22nd day I didn’t gamble and am proud of it even though I still need to keep working on my recovery.

But you are on a good track now. We can survive this together, with all the others here online.

[slapshot16]

Thanks guys, this forum is helping just by reading other peoples entries and realizing I am not alone in this, had an urge today to gamble online when I got home from work. For the past few days I have been distracting myself with sports and hobbies, but today is Friday and the week is done. I have been repeating the words in my head “Gambling is a trap, even if you win you lose, think of your losses” and it has been helping, however the urge to throw $200 on a site and start playing slots was strong. Instead of putting the money up I came on here instead and read a few things, I just want to thank the community for giving people an outlet. The urge has gone away once again and i’m happy with that.

[i-did-it]

Well done Thomas .
Is so hard at the start to resist urges but you are doing really great .
200 can buy a lot of cool stuff.

[slapshot16]

Been fighting the urge the last few days to gamble, my god this is difficult. My mind constantly wanders to it. The only thing keeping me from gambling is my will to keep my money. This is crazy.

[slapshot16]

I almost deposited today, right when I was about to click accept I backed off and told it to F off… What a feeling… Over a week gamble free

[i-did-it]

It gets easier – although urges will still sometime come out of the blue.
Don’t give them your money – your money is for you.
People used to write about the seven t’s on here

Take the time to think things through .

Play the tape through to the end to when you feel worthless , ashamed , to the endless counting of money in your head , to the worry and stress .
Compare that to how you feel today with a little money to get by.
Well done – a week is brilliant ! Keep strong

[slapshot16]

Thanks, I will get over this eventually I believe. I noticed what was happening and I stopped… The urges are a little difficult to deal with but I am making due. My bank account hasn’t suffered any hits so thats nice ?? I really appreciate this forum as an outlet, I know i’ve said it before but everytime I think about gambling I come on here and read through some posts, words of wisdom ??

[Penulis]

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