Now that I can gamble 24/7 on my phone, I mostly bet on basketball games. Well sort of?? That is when I’m a controlled controlled compulsive gambler. I was convinced I couldn’t lose that much money on sports, because it’s not an instant win/lose like black jack. I’m analyzing and making smart bets. How I was so wrong!! The problem is that if I see that my basketball game is losing, I’ll make a bet on another game. I’ll even take a little break and play some black jack to win some extra cash so I have more more money to gamble on another basketball game. We all know this is a really bad idea.. now I’m losing even more money. When I get in my manic gaming mode… I will gamble on anything live especially when it gets late night and all the games are winding down. This is when I really get out of control. Trying to win back my money in the middle of the night and now all my sports games are over. What else can I do at midnight? Oh I can play black jack. Bad, bad idea now I’m in for at least another 1-2 hours trying to win some money back. The chase is on! My head hurts now and my body is aching. I need to go to sleep.. put the phone down. Wait a minute, I can place a bet on Korean baseball. It starts at 5:30AM (ET). This way when I wake up, I will already have a winning bet. Oh no it’s 6:30AM let me check my phone, oh no! I’m losing my bet lost. No big deal I’ll place another bet on MLB. The next game is not until 7PM tonight. I can’t wait that long let me just play some black jack. I just lost again.. How am I going to wait until tonight’s NBA game? Here we go again. I want to STOP this absolute madness.
Solutions: put barriers in place. Been there done that. Installed GAMBAN. I spoke to some people through Zoom, heard some truly inspiring stories. Went to 4 meetings in 4 days this is great. i went back to gambling guess I was bored. Trying to figure this part out?
PROBLEMS My biggest problem right now is having enough fuel (cash available) for my online addiction. I don’t know how I did this, but can’t use my credit cards for gaming. I’ve locked them out some how and never called the bank to reverse this. This is really good news but I can still use my savings. This is the bad news. Now I’m just transferring money from savings to my checking account.
NEW SOLUTION: I’m not MacGyver. This is a serious illness and barriers need to be set in place. I called my bank today and blocked my checking account and PayPal as means of withdrawing funds. Is there a way out of this yes, all I have to do is call the bank and ask for this to be reversed. I need to want to make the change and live a gamble free life. There will always be a way to out beat the system. The only one I’m hurting is myself… blah blah blah.
I will start journaling and this is my day 1.
]]>Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)
And on that note….
I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you ??
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team
PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works! ]]>
Your story spoke to me very much. My biggest problem stemmed from online gambling and sports.
The sad thing is I love sports and was actually really good at betting the outcomes of games I knew. The problem is I’m compulsive and like you said would start placing bets on everything like I almost wanted to loose. Then when that would start I would go chasing with blackjack or anything I could place a bet on.
I will be fallowing your journey and wish you luck. Something I found worked for me was deleting any sports apps to avoid the thought of what game was even on. I also even stopped watching any sports as I found it to be a trigger for me at first. I am 4.5 months clean and now I can enjoy a game. It’s actually really nice enjoying sport again and not being affected by the outcome!
]]>This is great advice. I will try and avoid looking up games totals and point spreads for tonight’s game (over/under). I too will play until my money is gone. I wasn’t in my manic state yesterday, but still managed to place a few NBA bets. I told myself just withdraw the money and you’ll be set. But no, after my post I still thought I could make some more money. I gambled the remaining money in my account yesterday/this morning. Part of me was happy just to get rid of the money. Now I don’t have money and feeling bad. It’s like going on a diet. I will binge eat and then I’ll start all over tomorrow. I’m not counting days just yet. This is too overwhelming for me. T’ve been gambling everyday for the last two years. I really need to wrap my head around this.
I do enjoy working out so will go to the gym later today. It’s the addiction of having a bet placed when I leave the house. Something to look forward to later in the day when I’m get home from work. The irony is that it’s not relaxing and causing myself more harm and stress both physically and emotionally.
I did not look at tonight’s NBA lines. Will post my gamble free days when in due time. Don’t want to stress about getting there. If I worry about this.. I will not post my progress…
]]>Welcome to the forum and well done on taking a positive step.
I can associate with so much of what you have written, chasing losses, feeling anxious because you can’t immediately place a bet to win money back. Putting blockers in place but then later finding a way around those blockers etc.
One thing you haven’t mentioned trying which I think could really help is having someone else you trust manage your finances for a while. In this scenario, you would still maintain control over your money, and decide where it is spent, but any spending would have to go through this person first.
I also strongly recommend checking out one of the new members groups, there is one tonight at 19:00(UK). You mentioned you attended 4 meeting in 4 days before which is great, but I know when I first joined the forum and was taking positive steps, I found the new members group the best place to get direct actionable advice on steps that can be taken.
]]>Thanks for your reply. I’ve joined the beginner support group and attended many Monday and Thursday meetings (with Charles). We’ve chatted and brainstormed and talked about my triggers. Yes, you’re right on the money- Accountability is extremely important.
I totally get what you’re saying about accountability, I don’t have anyone right now who can take care of my finances. Long story but people in my family have trouble handling money (credit card debt) and I would be scared to hand over my account to a family member. They would spend my money in a heartbeat. Not that I’m any better at this moment of my life. What turned out to be some innocent fun gambling online has turned into a complete nightmare.
I need to figure the finance part as I move through this journey. I’m not in my manic compulsive state right now. I placed a bet a few days ago not knowing the bet was today. Thankfully, it lost because I didn’t want to start the vicious cycle again of winning and chasing my loses.
Last night I was very excited to start my new saving plan. Now at 1AM I’m thinking how can I save money? The only way to save money as a compulsive gambler is NOT TO GAMBLE. I will never win because I can’t stop. I have saved huge amounts of money years ago stashing away money into savings. Actually I was quite obsessive and would not spend any money. I would save then splurge on vacations for my family. For the first time, I’m excited to save money again. Throwing money into a savings account and watching the number go up (not down). I’m in the raw stage of this gambling free and my mind can easily play tricks… telling me I can gamble and win, but we all know this is not TRUE.
The longest break without making a bet within the last two years was 14 days. I’ve made a few 5 day accomplishments as well. Thanks to Charles.
Today I went to the gym and did not look at tonight’s NBA lines. Time to close my online gaming account (just don’t open another one). Same old story, I sound like a broken record. Will keep journaling.
]]>I will make the right decision and not gamble today. I can do this!!
]]>It’s really crazy eh how the mind will lie to us about how we can gamble and it will be different this time. The simple answer is as a compulsive gambler we cannot gamble again. Trust me when I say this I have fallen victim to my mind telling me I have learnt. And all the progress I have gained I blow it all in months. I was clean for 8-9 months and thought I could gamble again and in 2 months I blew another 20 thousand dollars. Pretty much everything I worked so hard to gain in that clean time. Gambling can never be cured only arrested as the words from GA. It’s really true is the thing. Please stay strong and we are all behind you!
]]>I called the gambling site and was told my account could be locked for a month, until my check settles. Today I’m thinking this is a sign and my way OUT. Today I WILL NOT GAMBLE.
This is my day 1
]]>Managed to stay gamble free. Every time I had an urge, I told myself “what happens if you win What are you going to do? Will you take the money out like a normal person? The answer is clearly no. I can not gamble. There is no end to my madness. I still keep this unreachable number in my head. If I win ___ then I will quit. This never happens. I will get sucked in the cycle of chasing my loses.
I paid many bills and have just enough money in my account to be comfortable. I don’t need to win/lose. I have urges but it’s not worth it. I’ve been wanting to kick this addiction and the only way is NOT TO GAMBLE.
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