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Hi I’m new here. im LostitallAgain. I’m a 25 yr old female.
I’m in a lot of debt with overdrafts and loans that I took out to gamble with.
I have mental health issues and I use it to try make myself feel better becuase I think if I carry on il win but I havnt. I figure it’s better to be in debt then it is to self harm and overdose which I have a long history of. I’m trying to stop self harming at the current moment but my gambling has become uncontrollable to the point were I can’t even afford food this week or pay the bills. I’ve took all the loans I can be offered and I’m still sat thinking maybe I could try find another just so I can gamble.
As I’m sat writing this a advert for a gambling site has come on the tv and I desperately want to gamble.
I have in the past won big on gambling and I’m always looking for that to happen again but it hasn’t. I’m chasing something that isn’t likely to happen. My friend and psychiatric nurse keep telling me to cancel my online gambling account but I just can’t bare to. I need some support.Thanks to everyone who reads this.
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Hi Lostitallagain,
Well done for joining this site and looking for help.
Whatever other issues we have , gambling only makes things worse.
You are very honest about not wanting to close your account. I guess none Of us really want to stop , but we can no longer face the consequences of gambling . It just feels so bad when we lose all our money and have to struggle to survive.I too had a big win once and have never been able to repeat it . It is the pattern for many who become addicted . We always think we will win but even when we do , we usually just keep gambling until we lose it all.
I’m really glad you joined this site and I look forward to getting to know you better . -
Thanks for replying. Yes I have been in that situation where I have won a little and should have withdrawn the money but I carried on gambling and lost it all anyway.
Next time I want to gamble il come here and try answer other people’s posts instead..though that’s easier said then done.
Thanks again.
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Welcome to the site.
Before I came to this site, I thought I was quite unique, but I now realise we all do exactly the same things, feel the same way and have to deal with the same consequences. I thought I was reading one of my posts for a split second.
You haven’t stated what type of gambling you do. If it’s online gambling you can download and install blocking software that prevents you from accessing gaming sites. For your information, I downloaded the K9 blocking software which is free. It doesn’t solve the root cause of the problem, but will prevent you doing further damage while you seek real help. Self exclusion is something else you can do, but beware there are 100’s of online gaming sites and you’ll be able to find another if determined enough.
Unfortunately it’s a vicious cycle. Gambling gets us into serious financial problems and to try to get out of these serious financial problems we see gambling as a quick fix.
There are helplines and groups you can use on this site if your gambling urges kick in.
Best of luck, keep posting, it’s helped me so I hope it helps you.
Charlster.
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Hi Lostitallagain , I would strongly recommend that you spend the money on a good gambling block first thing on Thursday . It seems like a lot to spend but once it’s bought it will save u ur wages each month!!
Great to see u posting
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both my parents are alcoholic and my dad was a gambler and got my family into finically issues. My mother tried to hide it from us as we were young but I saw him on online sites all the time gambling. He is self employed and should have been out working but instead staid home using loans to gamble and abuse me. Is wore is never ever be like him. I’ve been through a phase where I’ve abused alcohol myself a few years ago and have stopped now but now since then I’ve turned to gambling online too. If I could stop drinking that means I have the power in me to stop gambling too… I hope.
I play online gambling sites. I know I should block them but I still believe if I go on just one more time I will win the money I need to pay back the loans. I know I need to block myself from being able to use them but I’m not sure I am ready to??
I have only just admitted there is a problem, after months of my friend telling me how badly addicted I am and what a mess I’m getting myself into over it. Not just finically but psychologically. I sometimes get very suicidal when I loose more money because I don’t ever know how il pay back all that I owe and with other issues that get me down I think the easiest way out is to commit suicide. ( don’t worry I have no intention on doing this right now).
It’s so good to be able to talk here. I have been hiding all this from my boyfriend. He keeps asking where all my money’s gone and he had to lend me some to buy food.
I’m ashamed of myself big time.
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Your story sounds all too familiar.
have you thought about making an appointment with the Citizens Advice Bureau? They have debt counsellors that will work through your debts and finances with you. They will help you make manageable repayments with your creditors. I’ve used them in the past and they can take a lot of stress away. Less stress could = less need to gamble. It’s just another measure you can take in tackling this problem.
Take care,
Charlster.
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Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you?re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you?re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We?re in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you?re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
And on that note….
I?m going to hand you over to our community because I?m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you ??
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team
PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our
privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!
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thanks for everyone’s comments.
A little of topic but I have tried to kill myself recently. I do have proffessional help and I use it. So alls good there.
Anyway back to gambling …. Where can I get this block from?im not very good at these things. I think I deffinately need one I’m all ready dreaming of how much I can spend on gambling on Thursday.
Thanks again everyone.
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Hi LostitallAgain, the following link will take you to the gamblock page, please if you have any questions on this pop onto the helpline
https://www.gettogethablog.com/gamblock -
i got paid few days early. It suprised me and I went straight to the gambling site. I spent 400 pounds but last minute I won 365 so I withdrew that. So it’s only a loss of 35 pounds this time. Which is not great but not the end the world.
I think I need to adress why I gambled. And that was because I felt really low in mood at the time. Gambling gets me excited, I love the thrill that it gives me. Just like the thrill self harming gave me. I feel like I’m in a mess il never get out of. I couldn’t bare to buy a lock to put on it permantly but I have locked myself out the gambling site for 4 weeks.
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Hi LostitallAgain,
If you want to end all the pain and suffering long term you will need to lock yourself out for much longer than 4 weeks. You really need to block every possible path you have to all gaming.
You are right, mood swings can be a trigger to gambling, though I didn’t need too many excuses to gamble. Have you thought of maybe jumping on to the helpline here when you next get the urge to gamble? I’m learning from my own errors as it’s something I wish I had done a few weeks ago and will be something I’ll do in the future should I get tempted.
You can get out of this mess, but you’ll have to make tough decisions first. Decisions that the gambling side of your character will not want you to do. I suppose you’ll have to decide for yourself which is worse, having to suffer the pain of the withdrawal symptoms you’ll have to endure by not having access to gambling sites or the pain of constantly losing your wages and having no money coupled with the pain of never ending despair.
It’s a big life changing decision and we’ve all had to suffer terribly before making the right choice. I just hope you see the light now rather than have to endure another 10, 20, 30, 40 years of suffering. Take it from me, keep on gambling and all that will lie ahead is a path of destruction and misery. Harsh, but true.
I hope you find the strength to tackle this full on with 100% commitment. There is so much help on this site, so don’t think you’re alone for a minute. We all need outside help, we can’t do this alone.
You’re only 2 years older than my daughter and should be carving out a happy life for yourself and having fun. It’s saddening to see anybody, never mind someone of your age plunging themselves into the darkness of the gambling World.
Wishing you all the best. You can do it.
Charlster.
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i feel I will always be in the mood for gambling. I have emotionally unstable personality disorder aka borderline personality disorder. I’m terrible at control my mood. The slightest thing sends me straight downwards I also face highs and it can change in the space of minuets. It all steams from the abuse as a child. Problem with my diagnosis and myself is that addictive personality comes with it and risk taking.
I won’t use that as a excuse though. I know I’m strong enough to stop if I try hard enough. I just went on gambling site today think that cos I havnt won in ages I was due a win… As if there’s some kind of pattern to winning. I feel I’ve learnt how to play them but that’s clearly not true cos I’m in so much debt.I don’t want this to be my life. So far all my life has been abuse, drink, drugs, self harm, gambling and failed suicide attempts. I’m terrified of this being my life till I die and I don’t want that. I’m running from a lot of emotional pain I know that and I know it results in me gambling. I know this and I know it’s a problem and I know that I can block myself out the sites but why can’t I just do it? Maybe I’m not ready to let go, I don’t know.
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You’ve had a tough, tough life and with the right help better times will lie ahead. You are right of course, you do have to be ready and willing to receive help.
Have you thought about going to a Gamblers Anonymous meeting? They are nationwide and you can look them up on the internet, they will be able to offer you face to face help and guidance.
I’m sure other ideas will be posted on your thread by other members of this site. I hope you find the help you need.
Take care,
Charlster.
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i just looked for meetings in Nottinghamshire near by and I could only find evening meetings. Unfortantly I can’t attend those because my boyfriend will demand to know where I’m going and I can’t let him know About my gambling issues. I have to keep this to myself.
I will try call gamblers anonymous and see what other options there are.
Thanks.
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