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I put a topic on recently, and now I admit I can’t do it I need to stop altogether. Today I was nearly a week free of gambling and as the football came around I lost ￡30 on coupons. Trying to win it back and chase losses I have lost just short of ￡500 in the space of 10 minutes worst of t on roulette trying to get a quick fix of money without waiting for sport to come in, ￡100 spins coming to nothing WHAT AM I DOING?! I sit there whilst my girlfriend is clueless to what I have just done..she thinks I’ve stopped if she found out she wouldn’t think twice of finishing it. I need to stop now and I will continue reading posts and updating people on my progress. At the age of 19 and I must have lost around 10,000 in the 3 years I started gambling if not more, I can’t change the past but I can certainly change the future I’m sat here early hours in the morning just feeling numb and not knowing what to do tbh I’m not gunna let it beat me though I can’t I see how upset my mam gets about her son gambling when she realises I’ve lost a couple of hundred and it’s awful to watch but she doesn’t understand I can’t help it at the minute. Greed having money and wanting more is my problem but when I get more I don’t stop until I loose it and end up ￡000s down!! Wish me luck I will come on every few days and vent my feelings for the day and hopefully here goes to not gambling again!
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Your problem Hammo isn’t greed Hammo, its gambling. And by having a problem with it, you just can’t afford to do it. Ever. It never changes for people like us we are f******ed when it comes to gambling.
￡500 it’s an expensive lesson to learn but you must accept that that money has gone like the thousands before it. You can stop this but it will be hard, keeping it a secret from your girlfriend and Mam also very hard.
I don’t have access to most of my wages mate and I’m 50. I started trying to “give up” gambling in 1982, before I’d been to jail once.
I never listened to the people who said they knew how I felt. How could they they were all crazy fools who’s lives had been in tatters through gambling. I wasn’t as bad as them, I’d never be in their position.
Turns out I was the fool, they did know, I chose to ignore the patronising advice I thought they were giving me.
I hope you don’t make my mistakes mate.
Geordie.
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I’m listening this time geordie! Stopped for good mate, day 1 today and don’t have the slight urge to gamble knocks me sick after the money I lost yesterday but as you said the money has gone now nothing I can do! Will keep updating with how I’m doing but I’m determined this time. Thanks for the support mate
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Hi mate, today is the day for me too! Just lost a lot trying to get back to a unachivble position. I know how you feel about the girlfriend thing, she has no idea, that’s what makes me so sick of it I think.
I have tried before, but today is the day. I haven’t ever been on these sites, so I guess that’s a step in the right direction. -
Good luck mate! I’ve breezed through today kept myself busy and haven’t had a thought of gambling! Honest mate I look at my girlfriend and she does everything for me and I look at how much I’ve wasted and think if only she knew I put a smile on but inside it’s killing me! But onto Day 2 tomorrow and hopefully onto many more days, I haven’t been on here for long myself and feel there is a lack of support from others, geordie has commented on both my posts and is a top lad motivated you to do better. As for this journal I’m doing it for myself to look back at what I put and the feelings I had next time I have the urge to gamble so it stops me. Good luck mate can always post on here to let me know how your getting on
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Thanks mate. Yeah I will do if that’s ok – kinda feels like writing something down helps I guess.
Feel the same. Absolutely! It does make me sick when I think over the years how much I’ve spent, been about 7 years for me and only got worse each year really.
Genuinely going to do it this time. I’ll check in on your journel.
Good luck pal! -
Alright mate. Hope your first day went ok. I managed last night not to do anything. Today the real work starts I guess.
I am so determined this time. I have written down everything I can remember over the years so got something to remind me of how stupid this all really is. It just hit me really how big a part of my life this has been. It really won’t be easy to get rid of it. I’m just sick of constantly worrying or thinking about money. And wondering if some football team I have never heard of in mongoloia will score a goal or not, and for what.
Anyway, hope you don’t mind me posting, seems to be helping over this difficult bit. -
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Hi AVFC you’ll probably get asked to start your own thread but as you and Hammo are both new to this what I’ve got to say applies to you both.
In the early days it’s quite tough you’ll think you’ve got it boxed off some days, other days you might be gagging for it. It’s in these early days foundations should be set to protect you in the future. It’s ok being strong and resolute when you’ve got no money, but sooner or later you will end up with wages or other money. As you know it’s quite ridiculous how the mindset changes when you’ve gone from penniless to having some/any money. I know at times I’ve been perfectly sensible until a months salary hit the bank then it was all change. Like jeckle and hyde. It’s taken me years, literally years, to protect myself from myself and thus stupidity. My boss only pays me a small amount each week, saving and paying off debt with the rest. So I don’t even see my wages, just enough for rent, diesel and about ￡50 to get me through the week. For years I ignored the advice to give control of my finances to some one. I do it now, and I’m so pleased.
Recovery is a lot more than just giving up gambling, but you must walk before you can run.
First and foremost you must stop gambling before you can go forward with anything. It’s mad that if one of your mates told you just to stop doing it and keep out the bookies, you’d feel like punching him, but at the end of the day that is what we’ve got to do. I know you’ve probably felt at times you just couldn’t help it, something’s just dragged you in, I know I have. But just look at it man, what a load of bollox. We’ve let the addiction get in our head nothing drags you in. There’s nobody reeling you in with an invisible fishing rod, or somebody with a giant magnet pulling us in we go because we want to.
For me recovery has been about learning to change myself from gambling being my natural reaction to everything, to it being an informed decision. Thankfully I havnt had to consider that decision for months, let me tell you both life can be brilliant without gambling in it.
This used to be a really busy forum once Hammo, but you get a lot of people just pop up for a week and then never return, there was also a period when this site wasn’t allowed to help uk users unless connected with Gordon moody assoc. That’s changed now, I’m sure the longer you stick around the more support will pop up.
Sometimes it’s months before I post on a new thread, yours caught my eye for some reason. Don’t get disheartened if you get no replies for a few days. You both might like to try the support groups, there’s gamblers only rooms, nothing said in the groups is ever repeated anywhere else, sometimes it can be like a confessional but it’s important to get things off your chest.
Nobody will pressure you in to anything or judge you. We’re all CGs and know the depths we can sink to for the sake of getting a bet on.
Wishing you both well.
Geordie.
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Thanks for the heads up. I’ll just reply on here I guess then. Just nice that someone was in the same position at the same time I guess.
Thank you for taking he time to say all that. You speak a lot of sense obviously comes from years of change. So genuinely thank you.
I know I can do it, I am a pretty strong person, it’s just always been my one weakness I guess for everything else in my life.
Quick question if you don’t mind. No one know about this in my life But i do have a really good mate who I know wouldn’t judge. Do you think I should speak to him? -
Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. ?We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. ?We’re in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. ?The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. ?So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)
And on that note….
I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you ??
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team
PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and ?terms and conditions so you know how it all works! ???
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Now then lads! Day two going well been stuck in at work keep my mind of things. I have the same problem a dx I would bet on anything during the day at work etc, Serbia u19s or something haha, all that has came to a stop now. But yes last night was really good spent it with my girlfriend you don’t actually realise how precious time is, normally I would be sat on my phone online gambling etc but life without gambling looks like it will be a good one. Geordie, that all made sense mate and put a smile on my face that you have thought of a strategy to keep your finances spot on shows that it needs to be done as if someone with your experience still get urges me and Avfc will certainly just need to keep us right so that may be something I look into. I have took first steps self excluding from every site online and in shop, looking at downloading a gambling block for my phone I’ll let use know how that goes if I find a suitable one. Hope everything is okay today Avfc keep strong mate think about your family and girlfriend!! With the mate situation yeah that could be good he could motivate you from not going into shop as long as you could trust him?
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Well done mate! Keep it up.
I’m doing alright. The evening is always the tricky part – everything your saying is exactly my situation.
On the blocking account, I have done it a few times over the years, always find myself searching “new uk bookmakers” to try and uncover one I haven’t for an account with. I think I have exhausted the list now.
I might leave the Mate thing for now I do feel I can do it, like I said before, just when I get money at the end of the month will be harder, hoping by then I have “broken the habit”
Probably check in later when I’m trying to do anything but -
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I have listened to this quite a lot to help me, when having bad thoughts about life etc, not gambling but about an addiction
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Yes I would, it’s a great help. Maybe he can hold your bank cards for a while?
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It helps listening to stuff like that. Guess that’s the worst thing about this is that it’s so secretive, nothing is wrong on the face of it to anyone else in my life.
Finished work now, so try keep busy this evening. Just trying to do one or two days without looking at anything and hope
It helps.
I have deleted my scores app today too, that’s too tempting with the football starting again after international. -
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Hi avfc,
Whilst it is great that you and Hammo and otehr members can support each other on different threads it is important that this thread is, mainly, for supporting Hammo.
As well as posting here please scroll to the bottom of the My Journal Forum page, click on new Topic and start your own thread. Then you can get support for your own issues directly there.
Thank you.
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Hope you’re doing ok mate. Seems silly checking in so much but doing the trick so far.
I’m going strong. 1 day down. Has to get easier from now on hey. Literally the first day in a good couple years where I have genuinely not done anything.
Sorry Charles, just this seems so relatable. I’ll keep it relevant. -
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Like you say been pretty tough today, knowing there is so much on tonight. I’m just trying to hang onto the hope one day I’ll be able to look at it and watch without betting.
It’s officially 2 days now 4pm April 2nd. ?? I found this like counter thing on the App Store. I can get obsessed with looking at that rather than flash scores haha.
Keep busy tonight mate, 3 days for you tomorrow. Apparently it takes 21 days to brake a habit (quick google search) – so well on the way! -
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gutted! Bought a few scratch cards when with girlfriend earlier from the shop and put lottery on! I know it sounds harsh but need to be harsh to beat this addiction need to not gamble at all, so we start again from scratch! Didn’t even think about it at the time but may as well be honest want to do this process properly. Sorry lads will beat this though so Day 1 starting tomorrow (Wednesday)
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Few things mate…..
Firstly don’t apologies, we all get it, feels like failure therefore what’s the point – you have done the first step by not just giving up and saying right let’s go again.
Secondly, I know everything has to go, and probably does at least to start with, to prove to ourselves we don’t need any sort of gambling, but buying the lottery with your girlfriend is a controlled environment, as you have already said she would leave you in an instant if she knew, so your hardly going to spend ￡1000 on lotttery tickets with her are you?
You have to make sure you stay strong mate,
Last night you did a whole night when there was probably over 200 games on the scores apps, and you didn’t bet. That’s not failure, that’s a huge step forward!!We have to be harsh on ourselves. We absolutely do, but equally you have done so much and so well, build on that!
Don’t give up pal!
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Good lad! Keep going.
Yeah going well, going to get tough today, as I have money again, but I feel a lot better even after 2 days, so more determined than ever.
I’m just writing everything down on my phone, in a bit of a diary, so reaching for that rather than the sites.
Make sure you check in a few times, stay focused. -
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On the way back from work. Just tried again, and got to the deposit,luckily it’s a provider I have been with before so blocked the account.
It’s so hard mate! Don’t feel bad about your lottery thing, your doing better than I am – I keep thinking there is a quick fix, if I put 3k on one hand of blackjack I’m back to where I was. I know it’s not the answer, but so hard. -
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How you doing mate, had a busy couple days so not got round to checking in. It’s going better since my little blip a couple days ago – well done on telling your girlfriend mate, that will
Help I’m sure. Sounds like your doing well.
It’s nearly a week mate, so we have made good progress I think. -
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Am pleased that you’re both managing to keep off the gambling, at the end of the day thats what we’re all here for.
You’ve both had close calls that could have been avoided but thats how you learn I suppose.
Can I ask where you’re from Hammo, I’m thinking somewhere up north coz you mentioned your Mam and not your Mum. Think I’ve got a good idea where your from AVFC, if you were called MUFC it’d be harder to guess probably London. You dont need to answer Hammo just curious. thats all.
Wishing you well, and now youve both had nearly a week off have either of you considered going to a GA meeting.
Take care.
Geordie.
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How are things going for you two?
Aye Hammo I’m from the Toon, but live and work “down south” not quite in London AV, but nearly, and lots of local Man U fans here too, although a lot of them are now wearing Chelsea shirts!
I hope you’re both managing to keep away from gambling, I know how tough it can be. I’m very lucky in my situation to have a boss who knows and understands my problem. I would highly recommend getting your money looked after by someone else, for me it has been a Godsend.
Take care, the both of you.
Geordie.
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Alright Geordie, and Hammo,
Im doing well, been nearly 2 weeks now, i would be lying if i said i hadn’t thought about gambling, but so far i have kept my self busy, and i have managed to change the habit when i used to bet most (At night when footy was on)
Having a couple weeks off like this, it really makes you think how much time and money i put into betting, and for what?I have read a couple of your other replies on here, and a couple of the new articles, so many in the same boat on here.
Im off to Villa today, first time i have been since stopping, but I’m not usually bothered about betting at the ground, so should be ok.
How you doing Hammo?
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hey AVFC well done on two weeks ?? you’ve made some good changes and feel you are thinking clearer after a couple weeks away. I would suggest you keep making changes. Do you have a software blocker on your phone? in addition to excluding from the sites? It only takes one second of weakness, or even just a minute of being distracted and unaware of staying gamble free. I also had to give up control of my money in the beginning. I just couldn’t seem to deny the temptation. I hope we hear from Hammo soon as the two of you seemed such a good support for one another. I am a returning member who had almost 6 years of clean time in. And then one day i just didn’t stop myself. Although it gets easier with time, our brains get clearer, it can be retriggered in an instance. Remember all this can take from you and stay strong! Laura
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Sorry for not been on for a few days been busy! Work at a sports ground and been a busy week getting things sorted I work in a bar when the games are away and with games been Ina. Friday I worked today and will be tomorrow also. But been going strong nearly at the 2 week mark and never felt stronger the urges are getting weaker and quite frankly the thought of gambling isn’t going through my head half as much as it used to as I was like Avfc betting on sport every night on teams I didn’t know existed! But hope you all are okay and keeping strong. We are winning this fight at the moment. Keep t up Avfc I’ll be back on daily now the rush at work is finished keep yourself busy mate
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hi Laura, Good to hear from you, I don’t use a software blocker – i have excluded from every site known to man however, so by the time i have researched a new random site, signed up etc, it isn’t an easy thing to do.
Well done on your 6 years!
Hammo, Alright mate – Good to hear from you!
We are definitely doing well, and like you say, I’m not constantly thinking about it, which is great.
Like you say, its just staying strong, and should get easier by the day. -
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Hello chaps
It’s been a couple of weeks since either of you posted, hope all is well.
Judging only by my own history and many years as a f****ed up gambler I’m thinking that you’ve both realised that it’s not just a case of staying strong and finding it getting easier day by day.
Whatever the reason that neither of you have posted it would still be nice to see an update.
All the best.
Geordie
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Hi mate thanks for your comment! Been some time I’ve kept looking on the site and looking at other people’s story every day just to keep strong not gunna lie I’ve had a few numbs and put daft bets on no benders quite yet just daft ￡10, ￡20 here and there but I feel I am starting to understand it more and it’s helping me out a lot, I realise now I was stupid before just hope I never end up in that place again
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I hope you never end up there as well mate. A sure way to avoid it is not having an odd bet here and there. By continuing with these small “inconsequential” bets you are leaving the doorway to disaster wide open.
Not everybody who gambles ends up ruining their lives because of it. Sadly sites like this exist because some people do. I hope you’re not one of them.
I’m pleased that I don’t even consider an odd tenner here or there, I can’t handle it, for me it has always been the start of a very long, very slippery slope, and it’s no life at all.
Just remember though your situation a few weeks ago. ￡30 down and then losing ￡500 in ten minutes trying to win it back. Not good at all.
Thanks for the update Hammo, keep in touch on here whatever happens.
Geordie.
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Alright both
I was getting worried not hearing from you.
I had a bit of a relapse, came on here now, and you had a little bet too, guess it’s not just me.
It’s so hard, opend my spread betting account, which is never a good idea. Closed now and hopefully move on.
Just a reminder of how hard it is!
Keep strong mate, I guess day 1 again, bit easier this time……….
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Hi folks,
Reading this thread struck a chord with me, more so the part….
‘not gunna lie I’ve had a few numbs and put daft bets on no benders quite yet just daft ￡10, ￡20 here and there but I feel I am starting to understand it more and it’s helping me out a lot’I’ve been there and trust me it will never work, you need to completely re think how your brain sees gambling, as a cg you can’t expect to all of a sudden just gamble small amounts, you won’t, it will lead you back to where you were.
Stop the gambling completely, 100%, see it as a complete negative, because that is exactly what it is. You have to want to truly give up the habit 100%, not just 85% with the odd bet here and there, I promise you, as someone who has done that it will never work and you will be back to square one.
Stop completely, take it one day at a time …. we can all give up, but you have to truly want to for yourself. Feel free to read my first blog on the below link. I am also going to keep making journal entries on here, I really do find it therapeutic and a positive to stop me in my tracks whenever I get the cravings to gamble.
Believe in yourself, we can all do it.
Darren.
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Hope you’re both still trying. Keep posting what ever is going on.
Thanks to your team we won the league AVFC, cheers! Howay the lads.
I’d be surprised, to be honest, if you both pop up and say you havnt gambled in the last couple of weeks, but I’m wrong more than I’m right.
Hope you both still want to stop I know anybody and everybody can but we all need ongoing support to achieve it.
Geordie
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Hope all is well lads, ivevstick tonig and can honestly for the first time in my life say I don’t think I will gamble again!! Told my girlfriend after my little relapses and been plain sailing ever since, I told her because I believed I was ready. I told her if I gamble again that’s the end of us because I couldn’t put her through it when our future would be in gepody. Been 2 weeks 1 day now and not had a slight twinge to gamble at all and never been happier in life. Counting the days with ease now hope use are all okay and hope your keeping to it mate after your relapse Avfc
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Alright guys. Hope your both well, sounds like you are.
I haven’t even thought about this site let alone gambling for a good few weeks now!
As you say Hammo, couldn’t be happier, its great not waking up and thinking about stupid bets I’m going to place.
Sat in the sun in the garden and thought I would check in, really pleased to see you have nailed it too!!Least we could do for you Geordie after sending you down in 09 ??
Now I really feel I am past it (not taking it for granted, but not felt this positive about gambling since I was about 19) I want to say Thank you, I really needed the little help and push when it was tough a couple months back! -
Hello Hammo,
I really hoped i would never have to write this, but I am back to square one. I just came back on the forum today and remembered our chats, so thought I would check in, honestly hope you don’t need to see this, and have properly stopped for the last 4 years.
I did manage to for about a year, and then on and off back on it, but recently lost a lot and really fell back into the addiction, I have to make a change now, anyway hope your doing well!
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