[icandoitin3years]

Hello Everyone.

I am Tom, 28years old from Asia.

I would like the world to know that, yesterday (21st of August 2016) I have accepted to myself that I am a Compulsive Gambler.

I have always gambled since i have started working. I was never interested in studies so work life was started at an early stage. Let’s say i have been working for 10 years now.

Till 2014 i used to gamble but it was never a problem as i used to win and lose – Was never in debts. Would always cash out when i know the time was right – Also the winning were small but they would make happy – $2000 win would be a very good day.

2015 Jan I won my first ever big pay day $15k. Playing roulette. I have always played roulette and Texas poker – Nothing else excites me. Like everyone says – This huge pay day was the worst thing that could happen to me and it happened to be about 3-4 times in the first half of the year and i had saved up around $100k from gambling.
What goes up must go down, my winning streak came to an end and now started my Addiction, losing streak.
Back of my mind i knew i can always go back to casino win back that money. I am a pro player and always can win 15-30-50k in roulette.

At the end of 2015 – after losing all my life savings $150k, commission of $100k i was in debt of $40k. My annual salary is not more than $40k but I am able to get some commissions from outside of work which can be around $50k yearly. I have lost everything – I am too scared of making a total number of how much have I lost in this just 2 years.

So 2016 I realised that this gambling was becoming a problem for me and I spoke to my parents and siblings. I got help from them and was able to get a loan to clear my maxed out credit card. I had stopped going to casino and almost reduced my gambling by 80%. I was still gambling but smaller amounts which I could afford. As I kept getting my commission (no one knows about this and my family thought that I have improved and don’t gamble any more).

There was this one day where I had lost let’s say 7k and was down to my last $100 – I somehow managed to recover and make $25k just to lose it all again. This win would have helped me clear all my debts and I would have been debt free. But due to my addiction I lost it all.

My life kept going – I used my salary to pay my loans to my family and used my commission to gamble. So finally the gambling caught up my credit cards and it got maxed out again 20k – Just recently like 2-3 weeks ago. So I was scared that my family will know and they will disowned or whatever. I also had few small other personal loans from banks and finance lenders.

I spoke to a bank who offered me to clear all my credit cards and loans and offer me cash – like debt consolidator. They would lend me 35K with total interest of 8.5k for 3 years. I know this is such a bad offer but I still took it – I was very desperate and thought to myself that I will make that interest and clear all the loans in 2-3 months off course by gambling and commission.

I got the loan and they cleared my other loans and Credit cards. I was relived – By making monthly instalments I will clear this huge debt and by end of this year I would pay off the loan with the help me commission – But to my surprise I hit the casinos and over the weekend I lost everything AGAIN. My both Credit cards are maxed out now and I have a loan of 35k. So basically I am fucked.

Today, I am taking my first step to accept the fact that I am Compulsive gambler – No winning amount can make me ever satisfied.
I need 3 years to make my life better – And I can do it in 3 years to be debt free.
I will no longer gamble – There is no point as I don’t win any more.

The reason I shared this post because I cannot tell anyone – My Family thinks I am fine – I already got my 2nd chance and I am too scared to inform them.

Hopefully I will keep you guys posted with my recovery –

[Eric2016]

Hang in there Tom. My story is very similar to yours and I’m 31 as well. Have to take it one day at a time, as cliche as that sounds. I look forward to seeing you battle this addiction.

[stilltime]

Tom,

Stay strong, stay committed, put up those barriers, seek out support. In 3 years you will be out of this and only 31 years old and I’m certain you can take steps to make it less than 3 years if you so choose. You have your whole life in front of you, just put down the shovel and stop digging, you can do this.

[Jagger]

All your stories make me feel a little better, I have lost close to a $1 million in the last year (lost about $243k in tha last 4 weeks or so) and I am almost suicidal. I am in debts, deep embarrassing debts to business partners, friends and associates who are wondering “what is going on with this guy”? I am afraid of the future but I am learning here to take things one day at a time.

[icandoitin3years]

I am not a daily gambler, I only go casinos on weekends or when there is holiday from work – I am happy that at least i have the Job responsibility and do my work fully.

On Monday i was in such a mood that i kind cutout my social life – Removed my self from all the whats groups and Just was quite the whole day.

My Boss,My brother asked me what was wrong – I couldn’t tel them anything.

So i did have a small talk with my brother – Which did feel good – It wasnt about gambling or anything – But it was my about my bad habbits and how it has affected me- How i have isolated my self from everyone.

I went to sleep early and woke up 2 hrs earlier than my usual. Was feeling great – Have started reading a book called – Change your Thinking, Change your life – Hopefully this will help me to get over my Gambling addiction.

My examination would be when i have access to money and free time to go casino – I am going to battle that feeling of gambling and Keep going strong.

Thank you.
T

[icandoitin3years]

Today i informed 2 of my best friends about my situation – Off course they were mad at me but telling them felt good – was a relief -now i don’t have to hide what i have done – They will make sure that i don’t go casinos any more – It is always better informing your friends and loved once – They will help no matter what.

[Debtfreeisthewaytobe]

Hi Tom we all feel your pain and being active on this site will help you. I am 28 myself and in 50k+ in debt from gambling. Just lost my job if you have one thing to hang your head on its you ARE EMPLOYED. Now I know you think you make pennies compared to the roll you once had but you only have 38k loan and you currently make 90k with your commissions of you have no kids and are not married if you don’t place another bet in three years you will sure be out of debt and most likey have minimum 50k in bank unless you make some outlandish purchase. You can do this!!!

Ps you can’t think you are or were a pro at roulette it will ruin your pysche and ultimately you will think your good enough to win it back its not going to happen that way.

[icandoitin3years]

Thank you for your comment – I know if i behave my self and focus more on my carrier than gambling i would be making way more than i ever thought off. Because of gambling i had stopped thinking of my goals – I don’t have any more dreams , I dont have any girl friend, i have no friends – There is nothing required in my life other than gambling. Currently that situation is changing – I am taking one day a time. I am making changes which will help me get rid of my gambling addiction. Steps like
1) Socializing more with friends
2) Going out for evening walks
3) Reading books
4)Focusing more on work – Looking for opportunity.

I am sure we all will be able to get out of it – it really want to.. Like the new book i am reading – They said – Change your thinking – Change your life.

Thanks for all your support.

[Debtfreeisthewaytobe]

The 4 steps you mention you are taking that is magnificent, especially the first two socializing with friends will help you along tremendously I drank a few brews with a friend yesterday and shared some of my deepest gambling binges that I hid and felt great to talk about it. I enjoy evening walks also they allow time for you to find peace and clarity for a moment within yourself. You say you don’t have any more dreams sure you do. We have the same dreams bet free debt free life as successful young men. As for a girlfriend goes don’t rush into that just yet, because are minds are still fragile because we are in the early stages of recovery. Now just being friends with a girl and some phone conversation and casually dating is cool but just keep it as a friendship and continue to find your inner happy and for sure you will find someone because every girl loves a guy that is truly happy withhin himself because you will exude confidence.

[icandoitin3years]

Its been one full week since i have accepted the fact that i am a compulsive gambler. A lot of things have changed within this week.The feeling of gambling has gone down tremendously. I do not think of gambling 24 x 7.. Have started to focus more on my job.

The weekend ( Most crucial time ).. Friday i was able to stay home and watch netflix – and spend time with family.
Didn’t get any thoughts about going to casino – Even tho i have access to some funds.

Saturday – Met up with friends had a good drinking sessions. But i did end up playing cards with friends – But this was such a controlled session for me compared to my previous sessions.

Everyday completed is like a Step achieved and this feeling of being gambling free is getting stronger. Life is getting more fun, Colorful and happy.

I am confident I can overcome this Habit.

May the force be with us all!!

[Eric2016]

Your comment above sounds good. Out of curiosity, did your family find out? What happened?

[icandoitin3years]

Hi Eric,

My family knows about my gambling issue and they still think that i have improved and dont gamble like crazy before. They dont know about the F*ck up i did. And i hope they dont find out.

It took me 8 months to build that trust from them and i don’t want them to know. Hopefully it will stay like this.

[Author]

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