[misterc]

Hi there,
I’m new to this forum and I guess today it has hit me about how much of a problem my gambling has become.

I started gambling some 5 years ago. I’m a 36 year old teacher, working abroad (been living abroad for 4 years). Life is pretty good but recently, it’s been stunted by my gambling. Just before joining this group, I gambled almost all of the money I needed to get through to the end of the month- chasing losses, that old sickener! I live with my girlfriend, and paid our rent and maintenance bills (i’m so glad I didnt gamble that away!) but now i’m going to have to rely on her until payday to get through.

I feel pretty terrible right now, but i’ve been through worse.
About 5 months ago, I managed to turn 30 quid into a grand, over the space of a week. Football bets. I did my research and was on a roll. My mindset was calm and collected. That ended up spiralling into 5 grand a month later (bigger bets etc), and eventually I was close to 15 grand some weeks after that.
And then, somehow, I managed to lose about 10 grand over 3 days.
Devastated, but still ballsy, I clawed back 7 thousand in a week.
It was as if I was untouchable.
But, the greed inside me wanted more.
I should have just stopped when I hit the 12 grand mark in my bank balance (I still remember telling myself “OK, that enough, you’ve did it”), and I carried on.
The following 36 hours seen me lose practically EVERYTHING.
12 grand.
It was, by far, the worst I’ve ever been through.

What happened next, is the obvious. My wages were gambled away, leaving me with barely enough to live on for that month.
Thank goodness I had to foresight to pay my rent etc beforehand, otherwise, that would have gone too.

I had some time off, and recently went back to the UK for 6 weeks to visit family and friends.
Three weeks ago, whilst I was there, I gambled away just over a thousand, then won back 3600. Then I lost it two days later.

I’m fed up of this cycle. A few months ago, I was disciplined and knew when I had to stop. Now, it just feels like something inside me has changed and act recklessly.
I’m not 100% certain I want to quit yet, but I am seeking advice on how to control myself.
I’ve finally come to terms with the huge loss last year, however, I don’t want my gambling, which has become quite and addiction, to ruin my life.
We’re supposed to be going on holiday in a few months and I want to focus on that, and if I carry on this way- it wont happen!

Thanks for reading this.
It’s made me feel a bit better typing it out and reading it back to myself!

[Dave1]

It doesn’t really matter if you win or lose, the end result is always the same; you end up with nothing. The winning just makes the addiction worse. You get more and more controlled.

I also felt I needed to stop at 1 point, but it’s easy talking afterwards. At that moment you’re caught and the only thing you can do is gambling.

Use this anger or frustration of having nothing at the moment to have everything with the next paycheck. Do all the things you couldn’t do now, don’t try gamble it again. You’ll get stuck and the addiction just gets stronger. I’ve been there, wasted paycheck after paycheck for a year long. You don’t want to get there.

I didn’t want to stop neither, I just wanted to win. Problem is winning is not possible when you’re a compulsive gambler. You’ll just want to win more and more (there’s no limit), till you finally lose it all again. You can waste a few more years to get to that insight, but that would be regrettable.

Wish you the best.

Dave

[misterc]

Thank you for the reply and advice.
It’s good to get this off my chest, as I haven’t come clean about this to anyone before.
Today is the first day that I have acknowledged that there’s a problem. Really appreciate someone hearing me out.

For years my bets rarely went over 25 pounds a punt. I had a couple of big ones but lost them. All in all,I was quite responsible and gambled for enjoyment, then last year I just went full out and bet big, won big/lost big.

You’re right… it’s impossible to win now, with this compulsive mindset, and today has shown me that. I was down to 50p for my last bet ffs. How the mighty have fallen eh!
If I carry on there’s more at stake than just money, and that doesn’t bear thinking about.

This is not going to be easy!

[Dave1]

Good thing you’ve come to realization. And you’re right; It’s definitely not going to be easy, I’m struggling myself at the moment.

Hang in there!

[i-did-it]

Hi. misterc, I think I should point out there’s probably very few people on here who haven’t had big wins, who don’t think it will happen again (it might) and who also don’t think next time they will cash out and keep it ( never will as this is now an addiction).
I don’t mean to sound harsh but borrow money from ur girlfriend and Buy a gambling blocker for your computer. Cancel and cut up all cards and hand control of your wages account to your girlfriend . Put as many barriers as you can into place and try really hard to stop completely . I can guarantee you one thing – you will never be able to gamble normally again.
You can learn from others or if you are like me , you can learn the slow , painful way.
I really hope u find my post helpful

[vera]

Amen to the above posts.
Gambling is a progressive illness.
Cut it out now and suffer the “bereavement” or treat yourself to the long, slow, cruel regime where you will ruin your own life and the lives of your loved ones while you wait for your “win” (sic). Gambling, for CGs who have crossed the line, will always end in bitter tears.

[Dunc]

Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. ?We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. ?We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. ?The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. ?So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you ??

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and ?terms and conditions so you know how it all works! ???

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