Hello Everyone.

I am Tom, 28years old from Asia.

I would like the world to know that, yesterday (21st of August 2016) I have accepted to myself that I am a Compulsive Gambler.

I have always gambled since i have started working. I was never interested in studies so work life was started at an early stage. Let’s say i have been working for 10 years now.

Till 2014 i used to gamble but it was never a problem as i used to win and lose – Was never in debts. Would always cash out when i know the time was right – Also the winning were small but they would make happy – $2000 win would be a very good day.

2015 Jan I won my first ever big pay day $15k. Playing roulette. I have always played roulette and Texas poker – Nothing else excites me. Like everyone says – This huge pay day was the worst thing that could happen to me and it happened to be about 3-4 times in the first half of the year and i had saved up around $100k from gambling.
What goes up must go down, my winning streak came to an end and now started my Addiction, losing streak.
Back of my mind i knew i can always go back to casino win back that money. I am a pro player and always can win 15-30-50k in roulette.

At the end of 2015 – after losing all my life savings $150k, commission of $100k i was in debt of $40k. My annual salary is not more than $40k but I am able to get some commissions from outside of work which can be around $50k yearly. I have lost everything – I am too scared of making a total number of how much have I lost in this just 2 years.

So 2016 I realised that this gambling was becoming a problem for me and I spoke to my parents and siblings. I got help from them and was able to get a loan to clear my maxed out credit card. I had stopped going to casino and almost reduced my gambling by 80%. I was still gambling but smaller amounts which I could afford. As I kept getting my commission (no one knows about this and my family thought that I have improved and don’t gamble any more).

There was this one day where I had lost let’s say 7k and was down to my last $100 – I somehow managed to recover and make $25k just to lose it all again. This win would have helped me clear all my debts and I would have been debt free. But due to my addiction I lost it all.

My life kept going – I used my salary to pay my loans to my family and used my commission to gamble. So finally the gambling caught up my credit cards and it got maxed out again 20k – Just recently like 2-3 weeks ago. So I was scared that my family will know and they will disowned or whatever. I also had few small other personal loans from banks and finance lenders.

I spoke to a bank who offered me to clear all my credit cards and loans and offer me cash – like debt consolidator. They would lend me 35K with total interest of 8.5k for 3 years. I know this is such a bad offer but I still took it – I was very desperate and thought to myself that I will make that interest and clear all the loans in 2-3 months off course by gambling and commission.

I got the loan and they cleared my other loans and Credit cards. I was relived – By making monthly instalments I will clear this huge debt and by end of this year I would pay off the loan with the help me commission – But to my surprise I hit the casinos and over the weekend I lost everything AGAIN. My both Credit cards are maxed out now and I have a loan of 35k. So basically I am fucked.

Today, I am taking my first step to accept the fact that I am Compulsive gambler – No winning amount can make me ever satisfied.
I need 3 years to make my life better – And I can do it in 3 years to be debt free.
I will no longer gamble – There is no point as I don’t win any more.

The reason I shared this post because I cannot tell anyone – My Family thinks I am fine – I already got my 2nd chance and I am too scared to inform them.

Hopefully I will keep you guys posted with my recovery –