Hey everyone,
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nSo almost half a year ago I made a post on this forum that I decided to quit. After losing probably 20-30k I was just sick of it. I quit succesfully, untill now..
nI was gamble free for 183 days, it was a long process and I have felt very proud and good during these times. However, since a month I am starting to feel more down again.. it is like I am slipping back into the old me.
nI just gambled.. literally 15 minutes ago for the first time in half a year ?? It was ‘only’ 60 euros but this is not about the money for me.
nI feel ashamed, the gambling sickness feeling is back. I’m dissapointed in myself and sad that I am slipping back into old habits.
nI don’t know why I have been feeling more ‘depressed’ last month. In the time that I quit, I got my finances back together, got a girlfriend, found a student job and I am doing my best in school. I just felt very happy and loving.
nBut now it feels like something is pulling me back in ?? The fact that I gambled seriously opens my eyes that something is wrong.. I just feel stressed. School is stressing me out, work aswell and I’m just so chaotic I can’t deal with it.
nAlso the winter is coming, days are becoming darker. I don’t want to blame the winter, but every year I feel more down in these months. But it can’t be just winter depression, I already do light therapy and have some natural medicine.
nPlease I need help.. how do I get myself back together? Nothing is lost yet, but it feels like I reached the top of the mountain and now I am starting to fall back HARD. I don’t understand myself ?? Everything was so good.. why can’t that feeling last.
nDOes anyone have tips for me? What can I do?
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nThanks
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nH
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