The reasons why we gamble (and gamble compulsively) are not simple and are a combination of brain physiology, past experiences, genetics and family history (and probably other stuff as well.) It will also be different for different people. The important thing is to recognise that we are people who cannot gamble «normally» and we cannot trust ourselves to stop.

I firmly believe that I cannot gamble on slots again because if I do I will go back into a cycle of losing, finding money to gamble with (probably using up savings and then getting deep into debt) getting more and more desperate. I have known gamblers who have ended up on the streets, in prison and even killed themselves — not from the gambling — but from having to deal with the havoc that the gambling has created. I stopped gambling on slots (apart from 2 or 3 «slips») some 20 years ago — and yet I only paid off my debts earlier this year. Worrying about whether I can meet my bills, week after week, month after month, has taken its toll on my health and has meant that I have not been able to lead the life I wanted. I say this not so I will get a «poor soul» response — but to warn people of the long term consequences of gambling.

The time to stop gambling is now.

So block yourself from all the places both on and off line where you are likely to gamble. Cut yourself off from access to large sums of money (getting someone else to handle it, if you can) and get great support for yourself — from friends, family if you have any, from self-help groups locally (GA) and on the net (here in groups and the forum — or check out SMART,) counselling etc.

My advice to myself has always been to put as much effort into recovery as I did into my gambling. I have survived this addiction — I am sure, with effort, that you can too.

Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you ??

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

Gamble free & enjoying the quietness of my mind, it’s still early days but good. Things with the bf are good, we had a bit of miscommunication when I confessed to him about gambling and he really honed in on a couple of things I said, he misinterpreted it, he was angry and upset. He has been researching tips to help your partner through this time which I’m glad he is doing. He wants to support me as much as I can, he discussed doing a credit check on me to see how bad the finances are but I don’t think he realises he can’t.

I have shown him my debts & he will have control over my finances from my next pay. Losing your dignity to gambling is pain enough, honestly think I would have been in a terrible headspace if things didn’t work out with my boyfriend. He realised he was being a selfish idiot.

How long should I let him look after my finances? Will I just know when I’m ready?

Looking forward to hearing from you amazing people.

 hello Izzi,

so pleased that you and your BF are working together To help you stay GF. 

often Anger and hurt clouds reason and good judgement but I am glad that he heard you out and realised he is the best person to support you through this.

definitely a good move with the wages and your BF reading up about how to best help from his position.

about the time frame, perhaps take each day as it comes and let some time pass before you decide on your next movE. I am the queen of impatience so I always try to remind myself that this problem of mine will take time. Please don’t hurry yourself.

Your feeling stronger with BF by your side makes complete sense . Love conquers all. I also feel that with my hubby here beside me, understanding my problem, without judgement, aids me with my recovery.

I am doing a lot less damage than if I was left to my own devices.