[Sean Tomas]

Once upon a time there was a boy. He was 10. He loved sport. He was brilliant academically. He idolised his father. 

One day the boy’s father gave his son $10 to put on a horse. The boy could choose which one to back. He chose well. 

The boy and his father established a weekly ritual. An old family tradition. The boy learned to love anticipation. He felt closer to his father. He was was excited. His brain began to hard-wire.

4 years passed.

Now the boy didn’t need his father. He didn’t need to wait a whole week anymore. He hung around men. He didn’t yet know what the smell of desperate longing and despair smelt like. He thought it was the smell of money.

Another 4 years passed.

The boy couldn’t see the fork in the road. He travelled the world, but he hadn’t left the path he was on. The downhill path. He didn’t know. He couldn’t truly know.

For the first time in his life he faltered. He couldn’t understand why. He was optimistic. He viewed his failure in the best light. He justified it. He knew where to find solace.

15 years passed this way.

He could sustain just one thing: The family tradition. 

The boy looked everywhere for an answer. Surely there was a way to make this path work. To keep going downhill but still find a view. 

There wasn’t. There isn’t. He knows now.

The boy must become a man for he has his own boy and girls to look after.

The boy cries for what was and what is.

The boy is breaking with tradition.

[velvet]

Hello Sean and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you ??

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[i-did-it]

Hi Sean Tomas
Welcome to the site and well done on seeking help.
You have a very interesting style of writing and that is a great introduction.
I hope you keep posting — you will get lots of support on here .

[Steev]

You have told a story. I guess there is a lot more to be said. I hope you are getting the support you need and will not shy away from telling us what is going on for you when you need to do it. Go well.

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